OK, originally I said I wasn’t going to post about this stuff, but I’m bubbling over here, so I’m gonna share it.
She is perfect, she is wonderful, she is beautiful, she is more than I could ever deserve but not more than I could handle. She is laying down together at every opportunity, and slowly shifting from side by side to being one body. She rewards my every witticism, joke, absurdity and clever reference with a smile or a gale of her priceless laughter. Every minute I spend with her I spend afraid that I can’t be good enough and amazed and delighted to find over and over again that I am.
It’s not atypical in any way, and that’s part of what I love about it so much. High School romance, Austin Texas. Driving through the woods to an open field I know to sit barefoot on the hood of a jeep under the stars, kissing and lauging and stroking each other in the dark of the movies, driving down by the lake for hours of half-asleep ecstacy under the moon, her arms around me and mine around her, sharing slow and wonderful open-mouthed kisses under the thick smell of the water that blows over us. Her skin… oh my God… so smooth and beautifully white, God bless every second I get to spend tracing patterns on that skin with my fingers as she does the same to me and our cheeks are pressed together and my lips are against her neck and I can smell her hair…
I’m living every moment as a glorious ache because I know that by living each wonderful second with her it’s one more of those seconds that’s gone forever in to a pile of high school summer memories. But it’s worth it, if all I have left at the end are the memories of these nights, it’s all worth it.
I know I’m being a cliched love-struck teenager here, and that’s ok. I can’t think of anything I’d rather be, not when I could be in love with her and have her feel the same way about me. There can’t possibly be anything better, and if there is, there must be meaning to a world that has something that good in it.
This always worried me. I’ve never been madly in love with someone, so I suppose as of yet it’s a compltely unfounded fear, but here it is: I have a stupid sense of humor. I got it from my mom. Puns, stupid jokes, everything. I’m worried that if I found this ‘perfect person’, she’d laugh at all my jokes, bad or good, which would reinforce the stupidity.
How mundane and pointless can it get?
Wikkit, no offence, but I don’t think you get it. If your perfect person genuinely laughs at all your jokes (and if she really is perfect it’ll certainly be genuine) then whether it’s stupid or not ceases to be an issue. You love her, she loves you, and who give a toss what anyone else thinks? It’s something that’s between you as you stand and face the world together.
Lucki, great isn’t it!? And it only gets better. Just wait until you get to the point where you’ve been through stuff together, and you can speak volumes to each other in the blink of an eye, or the curling of a lip. It’s like telepathy. You’ll find you really do know what they’re thinking. Stick with it, and LONG LIVE LOVE!!!
Wikkit, I think your fears are completely unfounded. For one thing, a stupid sense of humour is nothing to be ashamed of. Be proud, be strong, revel in your stupidness. Heaven knows I do. And Nerrie is right; when you find your match, you will revel in each other’s stupid sense of humour, and you’ll love it.
Back to the OP - very happy for you, Lucki. Love’s a good thing.
Suffice to say, the girl is an endorphin factory. We went out for coffee tonight and then spent three hours in a nearby park amusing ourselves ;). Sexiest, most beautiful girl in the WORLD, and she’ll actually be seen with me! I got up from that experience literally feeling cloudy with endorphins, nearly stumbling many times, and when I took her home I told her that I loved her and she said it back!!! I drove home with big-ass goofy grin plastered on my face, thinking about how many of those hours loom ahead this summer.
And congrats on being in love. It’s great, isn’t it?
