Have you ever (deliberately or otherwise) made an enormously cheesy “romantic” statement. Not necessarily a pickup line, just something in the general category of “romance” that is cringeworthy.
Example: While trying to convince a girl on AIM that segways are cool, I asserted that “Verily, a Segway has the heart of a woman - ever-changing but worthy of all the trust in the world, elegant, and above all else obviously miraculous that such a thing of beautifully balanced contradictions can exist.”
I was falling down drunk one night and told my girlfriend for the night, who had asked me to write a love poem for her, that it would take a few seconds to find the words,then paused for a second, looked her right in the eye and threw up all over her! Eep!
Ok not very cheesy, but still a “bad” romantic statement!
One day after a heated argument Welbywife came to apologize because it was most definitely her fault. After apologizing she looked at me and said “I don’t know how you can put up with me sometimes.”
“Because I love you.” was my reply.
She still says this is the sweetest thing I’ve ever said to her.
Neither she nor the dead poet were properly impressed, I’m afraid. I think auntie em has a romantic stick wedged firmly up her cute ass, butt (ahem) that’s just me.
I mean, damn!, she doesn’t even like Air Supply. Where’s the love?
I had just started dating this guy who was being pursued by several women. He was unaware that these others were even interested in him, and when I mentioned the fact, he responded, “You’re the grand prize.”
Kind of cute, kind of lame. He meant well, the poor dear.
“godo” mojo (yes I always have to wait for him) and I were staying at his friend’s cabin last spring. He actually kind of hemmed and hawed and proposed out there. In a canoe, which was romantic. But the next day we were walking through Sam’s garden, and he was pointing to various plants. I think that is zuccini…
Um, no those are POTATO plants. And they arent ready until they flower and the flowers die back. so dont pick them.
He sort of adds a tune to his words… “that is why I want to marry you… because you know about potatoes”
Very very lame, but his heart was in the right place.
In the spirit of the OP though, I once wrote a note to a fellow I fancied in university…(We had been hanging out, having lunch, talking on the phone for hours… all semi-date like stuff… but nothing quite breaking into the boyfriend/girlfriend barrier)
So I left him a note in his studio before Christmas holidays something to the effect of
"My thoughts have been writhing, my muses seducing, my creative self has been yearning for the chance to be fully laid out to express all the internal surges which dance the sinewy dance in my soul. Now, the holidays upon us, I have the time and space to allow my creativity of thoughts which have been building up, under tension, to find release by pouring out my pen and exploding in ogasmic frenzy oto the paper that is my poetry journal. "
It went on for a few pages sompi like that.
And of course the fine fellow got the message. Yes he got it hand delivered (already read… who knew the sanctity of a bulliten board could be breached?) by his GIRLFRIEND.
(Somehow he had never mentioned her existence to me)
(She was in three of my five classes that year. all year.)
He actually liked the letter, although kind of missed the point.
I probably would have kept on in that vein for a minute or so more, explaining how if there was a thermometer in the sock, we could establish the precise hotness of the squirrels, and thus the girl’s own hotness. I might then have added that for maximum accuracy, we’d need to take the pre-sock temperatures of the individual squirrels, and repeat this entire experiment a hundred or so times to get a statistically valid (or less invalid, at least) response. And then all that would be left to do is work out a reasonable system to measure sexual attractiveness in degrees Centigrade, perhaps by measuring temperature changes in men viewing pictures of women of varying attractiveness.
