I do not have complete awareness of my surroundings.
I cannot hear that which cannot be heard. Smooth vertical walls are guaranteed to contain me. I do not have the ability to sneak up on you and destroy your esophagus with a mere flick of my finger.
But you know what? I know that if I’m in line at the supermarket/buffet line/stadium/movie theater, when I take one step backwards, I’m going to FUCKING RUN INTO SOMEONE! Is this a concept too complex to fully understand? If I’m walking forward, I pay attention to what is in front of me! I don’t have to keep my eyes glued forward, but as long as I have a general idea of where people are, and where they’re going, I’m not going to run into anyone. Why is this so damned hard to understand?!?
Also, when I’m doing dishes, I use about 3 feet of kitchen space - to be more specific, the 3 feet between the sink and the dishwasher. Guess what’s gonna fucking happen in about three seconds when I’m done rinsing this pot off. That’s right! I’m going to turn towards the dishwasher and put it in there! So get the fuck out my way, woman!
The world would have fewer people who ended up crying infront of their friends after an abortive attempt to look macho if more people realised what the OP says.
It’s even more pathetic when you slap one of them down only to watch one of their friends say, “you want some of me!”
“Sure” Isn’t the answer they were hoping for.
>.<
As Gord says, “Next time! Oh no, not next time! That’s SO much worse than ‘right now!’”
I wish I was a ninja. Then people would like me, I just know it! Or they’d fear my ninja prowess. Either way I’d get more of what I want outta life, that much is certain.
Ninjas!!! I have not forgotten that the Black Hand Clan has killed my Shaolin master and destroyed and burned the countryside and killed and scattered my people! One day, i shall track the last of you down, and wipe the scouge of the Black Hand Clan off the face of the earth! Until that day, i shall have to settle for eliminating them one at a time. Death to the Black Hand!!
There is a semi-narrow hallway between the place where food is purchased and the place where food is eaten. It is generally full of people, packed closely together. About 90% of them have warped trays full of food.
The next time somebody in front of me stops abruptly and causes a food-flingin’ chain reaction, I’m going to lean forward and hiss menacingly in their ear, “You’re lucky I’m not a ninja…”
“… or am I?”