I met my ex beast through the internet. It was a complete disaster.
He lived in California, I live in Sydney. We started chatting on the phone every night, at three or four hours a pop, and he confessed that he loved me. I had fallen already, and I confessed the same thing. We exchanged photos and letters for about six months and I decided to fly over there and meet him. Big stupid idiot mistake that I will never forgive myself for.
I had my tickets organised, (I took my best friend with me, so we could go on an extended tour of the USA) which were restricted, which meant that I couldn’t change them or cancel them. If I did, I wouldn’t have gotten my money back. Big mistake, but they were more affordable, and I’m not exactly rolling in money. I had everything else organised, and out of the blue a week before I’m due to leave, the beast tells me that he had gotten back together with his ex girlfriend. Well, now I have over two thousand dollars worth of tickets to the United States, restricted tickets that I can’t change, and one to his home town, I had no choice. I had to go. I told him that I couldn’t change my tickets and that I had no choice. He said he still wanted to see me. I was still hopelessly in love with him, (and two thousand dollars in the hole) so I went.
It was a disaster. For the first week he couldn’t stop coming over to the hotel to see me and took me everywhere. I thought it was a bit strange… didn’t his girlfriend wonder where he was? I brushed it off, quite happy to be friends with the guy, but still hopelessly in love and stinging with pain. Nothing physical happened between us, just a few friendly kisses on the cheek and hugs. I left for Las Vegas two weeks later and attempted to write the whole thing off as a bad decision.
He called me a few times while I was still in the States, but getting some distance between us and meeting new people helped me to think rationally about the situation. Whether or not he was with his ex, it didn’t matter. I had made the choice to fly over there, I couldn’t blame him for my choices, but I had every right to be mad at him for not being honest with me about his situation until it was too late to change my plans. I told him the next time he contacted me not to call me for awhile. I needed time to get over him and my anger at myself. Eventually, he contacted me again and confessed that he was never with his ex girlfriend… he was just afraid of commitment. I asked him why he didn’t just tell me that instead of lying. He said he didn’t want to hurt me. He broke my heart. I told him never to contact me again and I haven’t heard from him since.
The whole purpose of this long tale of heartbreak (yes, believe it or not there was a purpose to this:)) is to advise you to be careful. Don’t fall in love with the idea of somone, because then the reality hits you like a ton of bricks. Try not to let your heart think for your head (which is so hard when someone is in love). I made him out to be a saint in my mind, and the reality of what he really was, a lying, sneaky little creep, was so far from my fantasy that it took me almost a year to get over him. I will never forgive myself for being so stupid.
On the flip side, my friend met a man through the internet, and they are now getting married in December.
I wish you good luck, ** Isabelle**. Hopefully your situation is more like my friend’s than mine!