[QUOTE=Auntbeast]
That was beautiful Lil’ Pluck.
I’m glad as a southern, white, atheist woman that in spite of the tribulations you face, you have the attitude that you do.
There are ups and downs to being everyone I suppose. And I suppose on most days, the ups outwieigh the downs.
Today, I didn’t hear too many sexist comments, which is fairly unusual, but it didn’t suck so much being a girl today. Having to sit at that table the other day with the guy talking about Asian women was just sucky, and there really wasn’t much that I could do about it. Every time I hear some young guy talking about “bitches” or how all women want is money and what not, it makes me wonder how far we’ve come. But today, wasn’t so bad and I have to say, your post gave me hope that maybe we aren’t where we want to be, but we may be getting closer.
[/QUOTE]
Thank you very much, Auntbeast!
And while I think that, in the main, you’re right–there are ups and downs to being everyone–the ratio of ups to downs depends in large part on which “everyone” you are and on what your individual circumstances are in relation to everyone else. For instance, if I were a slave, while I don’t know if I would’ve hated being Black (though I’d guess that I wouldn’t–it’s be horrible, sure, but…hmmm, it’s actually an interesting question), I do believe that my station in life would’ve afforded me many, many more downs than ups.
It’s funny–what you do WRT “being a girl today,” I sometimes do WRT being Black. Sometimes, at the end of the day, when I think back over the previous 16 or so hours, I say to myself, “Okay, Li’l Pluck, today wasn’t a bad racial day, thank goodness.” Unfortunately, it is, more often than not, a mixed-bag kind of day, where it’s like, “Okay, today was not *that * bad, because not too many people clutched their purses, patted their wallets, or looked at me askance when I was in proximity to them.” And though I’m fortunate that I am very rarely called “nigger,” (this actually hasn’t happened to me in quite awhile), I do tend to be aware when someone’s thinking, “Nigger” (again, the purse-cluthing, wallet-patting, wary looks).
What’s really frustrating about this (well, frustrating beyond the fact that I have to have these conversations with myself) is that, when you mention it, even here on the SDMB (as you may already be aware–hell, just look at this thread), people are always trying to tell you that, at the very least, you’re imagining things (observer-expectancy effect, or some other bullshit). (Props, BTW, to Ensign Edison, for post #'s 154 and 168. No surprise, though, since I recall from his previous posts that he seems to “get” this stuff.)
This, by the way, is why I’m ceaselessly frustrated that the word “racism” retains it’s classic black/white (no pun intended), either/or place in in our society. For years I’ve thought of racism, especially as it is practiced in America, as an illness of gradations, and not of extremes. (As I’d reckon that **monstro ** does, given what she’s said in this thread. And I’m betting that I don’t even have to guess that **Hippy Hollow ** does, too.) unfortunately, what the either/or understanding of racism does is, it forces people (and because it’s relevant here, I’m speaking for the moment strictly of White people) into denial about those little things that they do everyday (again, the purse-snatching, wallet-patting, wary looks) to Black people. (I think that this is related to that phenomenon of denial–and I think someone else may have pointed it out in this thread–wherein someone will claim that what a beloved relative, friend, or random person does/says is not racist, because they do/say that same thing, and if that other person were racist, then that means that they’d be racist, too.) When this happens, when White people (especially White liberals!) have so much invested in thinking of themselves as “non-racist,” well, shit, of course we’re not going to have an honest discussion about it.
I’ve been fortunate enough to have such discussions with some very honest White folks (and I know that there are others out there), but, unfortunately, such people are not legion.
Uh…let’s see, I think I kinda got off track.
Oh, yeah, I agree with you that, while we’re not where we need to be (not by a long shot!), things are getting better. I mean, even though racism hasn’t disappeared since the Civil Rights Movement, but has gone underground and become much more subtle (White Northerners have always been masters of this, which is why I do a million :rolleyes: 's when they self-righteously rebuke the racism of White Southerners as if they, themselves, are any more morally pristine), I know that things were better for my parents than they were for my grandparents, and things are better for me than they were for my parents, and I believe that the trend will continue. Mind you, I think that several aspects of this country’s progress in this regard are glacial, but at least progress is not quite static.
This is me, nonetheless, not holding my breath.
