It sounds like there’s a lot missing form the relationship. Is he even willing to talk to you about why he’s watching it? Maybe it’s his reasons for watching it that you are angry.
Is having sex important to you in a relationship? (that has nothing to do with the situation now. I’m just asking if you and him have different expectations about what you should get out of a relationship because of your comments of lustful pursuit)
What do you actually want him to do with the time he’s not looking at porn?
Sometimes people get themselves into relationships where they stay because they don’t want to be alone.
A relationship based on companionship is ok as long as both parties are in it for the same reason.
Sounds to me like he’s addicted to it. It appears that Del tried to work this out with him, tried to tolerate it, etc.
You may be better off apart for awhile. Maybe he’ll get some perspective.
He’s probably in denial that he has a problem, and wishes to remain there.
A few points. I wrote my original post when i was very angry. So i may have come across completely irrational.
I am still not swayed.
“Filthy bastard” was used at the point of intense anger peak arguement. I am not a ‘porn is evil’ bible basher.
I have since spoken with my b/f and he has assured me the porn issue is being blown out of proportion and that he is not doing it as much as i have been thinking.
We work different shifts, so that is why we sleep at different times. Whether we have sex or not, he will sometimes watch porn later after if i need to get to bed for work and its his day off.
I would say we have a good adventurous sex life although probably don’t get enough time together because we work different shifts.
I am open minded about sex and as i said before i don’t mind porn, i watch porn on occasion. I went to a lap dancing bar with my b/f and bought him a contact lapdance so i can’t be that insecure.
My problem was and still is that i just felt he was doing it too much and it was making me unhappy. Maybe i was putting 2 + 2 together and getting 5 but no matter what his behaviour wasn’t helping.
I am aware that i can’t regulate when and how often he can do something but i did feel upset by it all and as i said we have many other problems at the minute so this just all seems magnified.
Although my b/f is not a porn addict i don’t want him turning into one so what the hell is wrong with me turning round and saying what i think?
Nothing that is what because, no one is right or wrong.
I have to do this.
"Nothing, that is what, because no-one is right or wrong"
It took me several minutes to figure out that last line.
Nothing is either good nor bad, but thinking makes it so.
-Shakespeare