They’re old, lumpy and have odd stains reminiscent of Mikhail Gorbachev’s head.
The explanation is in the OP and thereafter everyone else referred to those type of pillows as Gorbachev pillows.
What is it with the Gorbachev pillows anyway? There are things living in there. Nasty things. Things that only the person owning them are immune to.
An EX husband had one for 25 freaking years, and for all I know, he still has it. I was not allowed to put a zippered dust/mite/aliens cover on it.
About once a month, when he wasn’t home, I would tie it into a big pillowcase, and bake it in the clothes dryer.
:rolleyes:
Most males achieve a balanced and symbiotic relationship with their Gorbachev pillows.
Baking them in the clothes dryer may kill off most of the cooties, but only the weak ones. Thus, you’re merely hastening the process of developing a race of SuperCooties [sup]tm[/sup] that will one day eat your husband while he’s sleeping in retribution.
Thanks a lot.
My sleeping bag is in the garage, along with the rest of the “ugly” things. Ugly things are allowed to exist in only four places on the property:
- My office
- The basement
- The garage
- The backyard, but only under certain circumstances and only during the cold months
Thank God those aren’t the rules in my house. I’d be relegated to the basement.
Noooo! Not lumpy. Mine has been beaten into the softest, most pliable consistency. It would take another 30 years to get a new pillow clobbered into that level of perfection.
Also, what exactly is allegedly living in my squashy pillow? I’m serious, I want a cite. And if this is a real concern, I want to know what I can do about it short of compromising the integrity of my perfect pillow.
I’m sure it’s only a few million of these. (Pay particular attention to the “Habitat and Food” section.)
This makes perfect sense to me, because that’s the way things are at our house. Her bathroom, my bathroom. Both are off-limits to anything more than an emergency TP grab.
We have also reached an accord on the bed. The top of it is hers, so it has pillows, quilts and dust ruffle. Underneath it is my territory, so the space is filled with everything that wouldn’t fit in the gun safe. There’s no room for a monster under our bed. There isn’t room for a cat under our bed. Believe me, they’ve tried.
Before we got married, the house was decorated in the aforementioned Generic Male. Furniture that had been aqcuired over the years from a variety of sources, so nothing matched. Ditto the dishes and general decor. One of the first things my wife did was compliment me on how nice everything was, and how good it would look…in the garage.
I don’t mind the Girly Crap. To me it indicates that I have a happy partner who is keeping me sexually sated. 
Fair question. The answer is, it really doesn’t bother me all that much. I have my office, she decorates the rest of the house. (I also have the basement which she doesn’t care about, but I haven’t really done anything down there aside from putting in a poker table, dry bar and a neon sign or two).
Complaining about it in a thread like this != makes me truly unhappy or uncomfortable. When I bitch about her here it’s pretty much rancor-free. Just stuff she cares about which I think is silly to care about.
I’m sure she could compose a longer list about me, with things on there like how I get mad when she’s watching a game with me and helpfully adds “They’re going to WIN! Nothing can stop them now!” or how I treat my hats as precious commodities, or how I have to have a fan blowing on me when I sleep, or how I have my clothes sorted like Adrian Monk whereas she just has her stuff crammed into any drawer or closet she has.
It’s just different strokes, and after 13 years together I consider them curiosities, not some emasculating compromise on my part.
She also gives good head.
Giving good head is important, and any good woman knows this, if she wants her way. I don’t know shit about decorating and I don’t care to. It works out in the end guys.
It’s one thing to debase oneself by giving blowjobs to score heroin, but to debase oneself with frou-frou to score blowjobs…
It’s her EX that is going to be eaten by the SuperCooties [sup]tm[/sup]. That would probably be considered a good thing. 
You know, I’m willing to bet that most of those NFPs are the result of purchasing a Comforter/Duvet Set that comes with said NFPs. And now, because you have them, you must use them. And then, because you already have NFPs, you might as well buy the pretty one that matches the already existing NFPs. It’s a vicious cycle.
I hope you aren’t referring to me, as it implies that you didn’t read my post at all, just the “give head” part. Or it could maybe mean you didn’t realize that was a joke in reference to A Priori Tea’s “give head” reference, which I quoted in my reply.
I wasn’t referring to you. But I didn’t read your post, either.
Sounds like SOMEBODY needs a Disney Princess Bedroom. Or possibly a Barbie Bedroom.
I’m gonna have to swap one of my X chromosomes for a Y, I guess. I don’t like shams. I like bedskirts/dust ruffles because I have fond childhood memories of crawling under the bed and then shooting my toy gun (it shot tiny plastic discs) at various targets I’d set up. Also, dust ruffles are practical…can’t see all the junk that’s been crammed under the bed. We do have between 8 and 10 pillows on our king sized bed at any time, but we use them all. Heck, I even throw the pillows, sans cases, into the washer a couple of times a year.
EXactly.
Better him AND his pillow than Me.
So Gorbachev’s head isn’t lumpy?
Then who in this thread are you referring to? Who is debasing themselves with frou-frou to score blowjobs?
<weary sigh> It was a joke, inspired by comments made by you, THespos, silenus, A Priori Tea, and gravitycrash referring to sex as a commodity on the domestic balance sheet.
I’m prone to making them. Rarely funny, but seldom do they go quite so wrong. (See, this is why comedy clubs don’t combine “open mic night” with an audience Q&A session…)