Oh Thank Goodness.
I really thought you meant that.
I wanted to hit you on the head with your own cave man stick.
I have no idea if you have a cave man stick, but I was thinking for a minute you might need one.
And by need one I meant to equal out her cave woman stick
I just wanted to say that was a really good OP. 
THespos, I’m with you brother. Pick your battles, to me frilly pillows and other frilly stuff just isn’t worth the potential grief.
On the plus side women usually give in when it comes to power tools and cars. And by God, the garage is my domain.
When a man controls the bedroom decor, though, it can be sad and pathetic. My best friend is married to a guy who thinks color saps away manliness, or something. He has dictated that the whole house must be decorated in brown and gray.
Their bedding consists of:
an old saggy queen size bed that was a hand-me-down from a relative
a thin, battered comforter in a mottled combo of browns that looks like barf
two ancient, disgusting, stained pillows
brown sheets
Their bedroom is incredibly depressing to look at. It can’t be comfortable. And I can’t imagine ever wanting to have sex in such a place. So, going too “masculine” can be equally insane.
I’m a girl. I have two pillows, both functional. I use a fitted sheet and a down comforter with a duvet cover. That’s it. I buy floral sheets, but then, I’m single. And I replace the pillows every two years. Old pillows are disgusting.
Savor it friend, savor it. That too will one day be full of things from either Crate and Barrel or Pier 1. She’ll see something at the Useless Overpriced Home Goods Store that she just has to have, has to. The problem will be that well, it doesn’t really fit anywhere or it replaces something you already have that’s in perfectly working order and then the Flowery Menace will begin to seep under the door to your room too. Then it will be your room only in the idea that you get a bit more say if the walls should be painted Desert Morning or Desert Afternoon. And you’ll still be wrong about it too.
Best now to just take your things out to the garage.
Thank you.
Shit. Would it help if we got up a collection of unnecessary pillows and shipped them over?
How about a compromise between the sexes – don’t limit the number of pillows on a bed, but keep the woman to pillow ratio at 1:1.
My mom and dad have been married for 34 years. They built their retirement home five years ago. Out of that house, he has four ‘rooms’ and she has eight ‘rooms’ that are hers. Her rooms are Martha Stewarted out the ass, and one of them nobody is ever allowed to go in.
His rooms, two of which are basement and part of the garage (the part where her car isn’t parked), are decorated in the style I like to call Generic Man. There are dead things on the walls, gun safes, model trains, and other man-artifacts.
The funniest part of this whole arrangement is the bathrooms. There are 3. Two are hers and one is his. She will not enter his bathroom. He will not enter hers. Not for any reason, no matter what.
It’s almost like they have separate homes inside the same house. But they’re super happy this way.
I just knew I’d find a post from you on here. Laughed my arse off reading the OP and the responses. So, my turn to explain, my darlin Demon-who-spoils-me (and NOW I know why you gave me roses!) 
The new bedding:
I have a Cal-King size bed at my rental (havent completely moved in to SO’s yet) but remembered I had a Queen size bedding set boxed up, never used. It was one of those bargain sales that really was a bargain and intended on being passed over to one of my kids when they got their own place. Anyways, yes it is lavendar and mint green patch-pattern quilt and Egyptian cotton sheets, also lavendar. Not my first choice of colours (I actually prefer the browns or black/silver) but they were HIS bed size and the sheets are sooooo soooo soft! And dangit to heck, if I’m going to be naked in bed, there best be some nice soft sheets against my skin - flannel only goes so far!
I’m also in the process of replacing the towels in the Masterbath with Egyptian cotton because they are also very soft against the skin - and dont tell me you dont like them because I’ve caught you “stealing” my towel every once in awhile and using it. 
Ok - the pillows. I’m used to sleeping alone in a King bed so I do have a lot of pillows to make the bed not so big and empty. Some decorative, but I use them anyways - even the neckroll. His bed - 2 shams that match the quilt. I dont care if they are slept on or not. 3 queen size pillows - one for him, 2 for me. Afterall, he has the old worn out pillow-arm thingy, why cant I have an extra fluffy pillow to lean back on? I also have one extra pillow case, empty. When not in use (and I sleep w/2 pillows) I place the extra pillows on my side of the floor & out of the way of any feet.
Once we get my King bed moved in, all these pillows wont look so bad, and we can go back to the nuetral brown bedding ensemble complete with European shams and neckroll. No bedskirt.
And, I do not pile the bedding up with extra blankets and whatnot. Fitted sheet, flat sheet, quilt. One personal wrap blanket at the foot of the bed, folded, mostly used to cover up when sitting on top of made-up bed (good for naps or keeping feet warm).
Funny thing is - I changed his bedding BEFORE I moved in =) A woman should rule the bedroom, btw. And, by my darling SO allowing me to get by with such a stunt, tells me what kind of man he is (and there are far much worse things to fight about).
I did have to promise him no more pillows =) and, I USE all my pillows (even the “decorative ones”
God, I am so glad I have a practical woman. I constantly give her shit for her lack of spatial perception. Now I feel like a real ass, if that’s all I have to put up with.
I would’ve sacrificed your wives to Moloch long ago if I were married to them. There is just no way that I will EVER, EVER, EVER have museum pieces on my place of sanctified comfort.
She did talk me into a pillow top mattress. God I hate the fucking thing. She agrees that it’s probably the source of our backaches. That thing’s getting the boot as soon as we can afford a new one.
I think I’ve had to fight this fight with every woman I slept with since college. I think many women tend to look for the softest pillow top they can find. Me? I like Army cots. Whenever I sleep in a pillow top bed, I end up with pain in my hip (on the side opposite the one I’m resting on) and in my back when I wake up. The women with the pillow tops tend to get the same thing.
I talk them into firmer mattresses without the pillow top. Back and hip pains clear right up.
I also have a lack of spatial perception (if by that you mean something like “she can’t tell if something will fit in a box till she tries”), and I also have no interest in decorative pillows. I wonder if there’s a connection here…
Oh, and I’m realizing I should probably make Mr. Neville read this thread. Just so he sees what he might have to put up with if he weren’t married to the anti-Martha Stewart.
I’m amazed at how efficient most of y’all’s body heat is. Mine goes way down at night–I wake up shivering if I don’t have a blanket, even in the summer.
Currently I’ve got winter bedding: standard bottom & top sheet, plus a knitty thermalish blanket*, plus an ugly brown Gorbachev blanket*, and a slowly thinning comforter that matches the sheet. Two new pillows–I finally splurged and my neck thanks me. My Gorbachev pillow is covered with a sham. The only other bed-cessories I have are my old teddy bear, my stuffed beaver (the kind that builds dams, you pervs) and a small purple dragon that used to belong to my mom. Plus my cat.
And yes, I am afraid that monsters will reach out from under my bed. Blame an episode of the Twilight Zone circa 1985 and The Sixth Sense for that.
(*Neither of these blankets are mine. My thermal blanket is on my antique twin bed which my ex currently sleeps on. I sleep in his queen-sized bed because I got the master bedroom when he moved out and he got the office as a bedroom when he moved back in. Don’t ask, it’s complicated.)
Oh hell no! You’d want to vex me with doileys and lace!? Dear god, did you read the OP? It sounds horrible!! Keep your frilly, pink, superfluous shams and pregnoid pillow puffs.
I get to sleep on freezing cold dirt … clinching a cold metal machinegun …in a sleeping bag… wearing grenades. I believe the OP would envy me, not pity me. No nagging woman within miles to tell me how or on what to sleep.
He’d trade his girly, princess bed for my nightly Man-Nest in a second!
Poor THespos. In fact, you should be trying to devise a plan to send him a warm, manly sleeping bag instead of sending me your unwanted pretty, pink, princess pillows! Shame on you. Ha! Imagine THespos… tomorrow night, instead of reluctantly nestling into his bitch-bed, he unrolls his brand new camoflauged sleeping system on top. He can sleep peacefuly, like a MAN, atop the mattress, sheet, pad, other sheet, blanket, pre-comforter, comforter, and quilt! That’d show the 'ole lady!!
I tried, I really did, to read the whole thread hoping to find out what the hell a gorbechev pillow is, but my coworker would wonder what I was giggling at.
Googling “Gorbechev Pillow,” BTW, yields a single result, which is a porn portal.
So could sombody please 'splain what is a Gorbechev pillow?
Well, wouldn’t it make more sense if he took his manly sleeping bag out into the back yard? Because using the sleeping bag on top of a nice soft bed doesn’t seem manly enough. He should sleep on the hard ground, preferably on top of some rocks or cacti, now that’s manly.
Paragraph 4 of the OP.
Yeah! Especially if he has grenades! Sweet!
Further clarification in the event that a reader isn’t familiar with Gorbachev.
Simply put, it’s got odd stains reminiscent of the birthmark on Gorby’s head.
