Yeah, well, I was gonna keep my mouth shut about the whole thing, but some other clever folks figured it out and started a thread about it. So I figured WTF, this staying anonymous thing just isn’t happening.
I figure I owe Derleth on several levels. Not only did he inspire me to enter the contest, but I killed his really fun thread back then by pointing out that the link he put in the OP had a route to enter the contest, for free. After that, we stopped playing in that thread, and put in our bad sentences to the contest directly. Or I did – I’m not sure about anyone else, but there were no more sentences added to the thread.
Huh? Sacriledge! Any UW student on the north side of cool knows of the allure of the Plaza. Secret sauce on the burgers - lights always on - the UW vs. North Dakota figures on the hockey game - are you really from Madison?
Yes, no car and from out of state, I was limited. I did partake of the fare at Dottie Dumplings, though. I spent much more time across the street at the Big Ten Pub being served beers by Chris Chelios, who was making $100 a night occasionally wiping a rag across the bartop.
Hot Ziggetty! When I grabbed the story off the Associated Press to slap it on the page of our paper last week, I never dreamed we’d be in the presence of such an august, um, presence. I will drink a microbrew tonight in you honor from Oregon, home of the runner-up.
**“The Barents sea heaved and churned like a tortured animal in pain, the howling wind tearing packets of icy green water from the shuddering crests of the waves, atomizing it into mist that was again laid flat by the growing fury of the storm as Kevin Tucker switched off the bedside light in his Tuba City, Arizona, single-wide trailer and by the time the phone woke him at 7:38, had pretty much blown itself out with no damage.”
I had this sudden thought. Maybe, just maybe, Cecil might find some use for bringing this up in his column. “Synchophant Does Well”, “SDMB Inspires Greatness of the Worst Sort”, something along those lines. I would love to be interviewed to provide more background and context.
Boyo reading your magnificent steaming pile, which is better than the worst sex I’ve ever had, gives me the strong desire to smoke a cigerette afterwards. And I don’t even smoke.
I’m some kind of idiot…I forgot to check my work schedule and could only listen to the first half-hour of the show. Got into work, and after an hour discovered I wasn’t even supposed to be there yet, so I ran back out to the car to listen to the last half-hour, but it was too late to hear the interview…though he did mention our boyo a few times in the closing minutes. And now I can’t get the RealPlayer thingy to play the segment…yep, too dumb to be allowed out by myself.
I was thinking about expanding my bad writing to compete for the “Bad Sex in Fiction Award”, but discovered you actually have to have a novel published which includes the bad sex scene. Even I am not that much of a whore. Last year’s winner.
But I think I am going to take a run at the “Bad Hemingway Contest”. There doesn’t seem to be a website for it, but there is a description and contact info here. A little more searching came up with a couple of past winning titles: The Snooze of Kilamanjaro and The Old Man and the Flea. I’m gonna try and stick to what has worked for me, so my tentative title is The Old Man and His Pee. We’ll see if I can make something out of that.