I ate a maggot burger for supper. How was your dinner?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Monday, my wife brought home leftovers from my in-laws cookout that night. Among the fare was pasta, potatoes, pasta salad, and two burgers. I had the pasta yesterday. It was excellent.

Tonight, I was going to have the burgers and potatoes for dinner. I opened the container, and the burgers looked odd. There was something in them that I don’t usually see. I figured it was onion soup mix or something. I asked my wife if that was the case. She said that yeah, sometimes she does that. OK. So I took a bite.

It didn’t taste very oniony. I figured it was just because it was cold, so I nuked one. When it came out, I took another bite. Still severly lacking on the oniony goodness. I looked at the burger. Man, there were surealot of onions on it. Then I looked at the other burger. Plenty of onions on it, too.

Wait a minute…the onions should be in it, not on it, right? I looked closer. Hey, onions don’t crawl like that.

(peristalsis begins to reverse)

I look at the lid of the container. Plenty of crawly onions on that, too.

(light bulb goes off)

:eek: :eek: :eek: They’re not onions!!! :eek: :eek: :eek:

So I spit the rest out, brush twice, gargle three times, and consider hurling. I figure a lady fly with contractions laid her eggs on the burgers before they were packed up.
:: shudder ::

What’s the most disgusting thing you inadvertantly ate?

2

Mmmmm…burgers with extra protein.

wait…

3

You didn’t puke? How the hell did you manage that? My stomach is churning just thinking about it.

I think the worst thing I can ever remember eating was a piece of pizza that was in a bowl with what I thought was salad but was actually trash with some lettuce on top of it. Underneath the leaves, there was a bunch of garbage, including cigarette butts, which gave the pizza I ate a very … distinctive flavor. Because of that incident (and my mom’s propensity to drop her cigarettes in cans of soda. I yell at her every time I see her do it.), I am extremely paranoid any time I eat around smokers.

4

I mixed a fly into some ice cream as a kid and ate it. It buzzed in my mouth.

I, to this day, will not eat in the dark.

5

One night a few weeks ago, I ate a peanut butter sandwich while watching TV in the dark living room. The next morning, I noticed that the rest of the loaf of bread was green with mold. :eek:

I shall never eat in the dark again.

6

On a lighte note:I once worked at peanut butter production company,and it was infested with cockroaches and mice.Cockroaches and mice were all over that place-complete riot.And some of those cockroaches fell into the mixers with peanut butter and mice fell also and were mixed into CRUNCHY PEANUT BUTTER.
PS.Then we wonder why there are so many people alergic to peanut.b.

7

I, too, want to know how you managed to not puke!

8

Funny thing about that place,when I went there to apply for the job around 9am
I looked into the sky over that fairly large p.butter building and saw to my amazment dozens of hawks circling the sky (very unusual in the big city)).I took notice (because I love nature, in particular birds)and after working there for few days and seeing this huge rodent infestation all the pieces of the puzzle came together.

9

Funny thing about that place,when I went there to apply for the job around 9am
I looked into the sky over that fairly large p.butter building and saw to my amazment dozens of hawks flying around the building (very unusual in the big city)).I took notice (because I love nature, in particular birds)and after working there for few days and seeing this huge rodent infestation all the pieces of the puzzle came together.
By the way I love to eat peanut butter,crunchy is the best. :smiley:

10

Mmmm! Maggot Burgers! Fly-ce Cream! Ashtray Pizza with Extra Trash! YUM!

Speaking of peanut butter, it seems like a lot of people have a story about it, doesn’t it? Once when I was a kid, at a friends house for lunch, we made our own peanut butter sandwiches. I didn’t like crunchy peanut butter but this stuff didn’t have that many nuts in it so it was pretty good. I said something to that effect to my friend. My friend’s mother heard me from the other room, and after one or two beats, she practically leaped into the kitchen and snatched the food out of our hands. She took one look, shrieked, and slam-dunked it into the sink, followed by the most comically spastic Icky Dance that I’ve ever seen before or since. We laughed so hard we forgot to puke, it was that cool.

Smooth Peanut Butter with Larvae Surprise, mmm!

11

This past 4th of July, I was back home visiting my Mom and the various colorful folk in my itty bitty hometown of Honeydew, California.

The local 4th of July tradition is a big community BBQ at the Grange Hall. 40 or so hefty beef roasts are cooked overnight in an on-site pit, and a large cauldron of beans are also cooked overnight, burried in the ground (covered and sealed tightly).

Sitting there at the BBQ in the summer sun, buzzed on beer with 200 or so friends and family around, my first helping was savored, but not necessarily inspected closely. However, I did manage to make a mental note similar to Casey1505’s OP assumption…“Hmmm…those must be bits of minced onion in the beans”

Of course the real point of the BBQ is the left overs. So the next day or so, after heating up a plate, I was able take a closer look at my scoop of beans. The little rice-like particles were so thick throughout, that I soon had the edge of my plate completely ringed with them, nudging at them with my fork in purely academic study. As they’d simmered in a huge cauldron for over 12 hours, there was no chance to observe any wiggling, but everything else about them screamed “maggot” upon this closer inspection.

I’m thinking they must’ve come from a bag of the dried beans that are usually soaked for a half day before they’re cooked, or maybe from a package of one of the added spices…who knows.

I mentioned my discovery to Mom, but she said she couldn’t confirm or deny with her failing eyesight. We debated whether or not to share our rather disturbing discovery, but decided against it. By that time, everyone who didn’t notice the same thing would’ve already eaten all of their leftovers. What was the point in churning any stomachs? What they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them. :smiley:

12

What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding half a worm. :eek:

I fished out a chocolate chip cookie from my MIL’s cookie jar once. I noticed the cookie tasted a little feathery, like it had dust on it.

I took a closer look, saw the cobwebs and the maggot crawling on it.

13

When I was a kid, I loved Life cereal (Hey Mikie - She likes it!) One morning, I opened a brand new box and started sprinkling the little squares into my bowl. Well, there were squares and little round bits. The round bits floated in the milk. I started eating but kept thinking that the round bits were a little odd. I finally looked at one up close - Maggots, all nicely toasted and coated in sugary goodness. After removing all cereal from my stomach, I showed my mom. She said I should write the company and complain. So I write General Mills and include a processed maggot taped to the letter and sprinkle several more in the envelope. They write me back, apologize profusely, and send me 15 dollars in free coupons for Life cereal. It’s been 30 years and I still haven’t used those coupons (or eaten Life cereal).

14

[inside joke]

I wondered why I haven’t been feeling well lately.

[/ij]

15

If you’re around a bunch of people who chew Copenhagen, you should learn to keep very careful track of your own beer can.

That’s all I’m saying, lest I hurl on my keyboard.

16

In Florida, you either keep your breakfast cereals in glass jars, or it’s weevils for breakfast, baby!

17

Same kinda story.Power cut.So made myself a cup of soup.Went to add bread.Had a strange yeasty smell.Thought not much about it,but then just went to check in the streetlight and it was indeed green :frowning:
Would have drank a cup of soup full of moldy bread :frowning: :smack:

18

When I was a teenager I took a big swig of what I thought was my soda. Turned out to be the partly empty soda that everyone else had been using as an ashtray. That was pretty gross but not as gross as the Copenhagen thing. :eek:

19

Yes indeed. This was a constant hazzard growing up with my brother and all of the other little rednecks back home. Bless their little oral cancer risk hearts…

20

[YS]

In Russia, maggots eat you!

[/YS]