Now write it a thousand times before daybreak, or I’ll cut your balls off.
I attended a funeral a couple of days ago. It’s taken this long to click that, during the prayers, I kept subsituting “Ooh, you are so big…so absolutely huge…”, there’s a part of me that’s a little ashamed, but mostly I wish I’d remembered the whole thing.
I was vacationing in Boston recently and my wife booked us a hotel room in Salem. She ended up regretting that, as every time we entered Salem I said “we’ve found a witch, may we burn her?” or “She turned me into a newt!”
I got better.
Either of us suffers from flatulence:
I used to watch *Teletubbies *with the Diva when she was a toddler and I was her caregiver on account of being unemployed at the time. I always thought of Monty Python whenever one of the Teletubbies would shout “Run away!”
Also, when I see anything about someone complaining (unjustifiably, to me) that their right to free speech is being taken away, I remember, “Help, help, I’m being oppressed! Come see the violence inherent in the system!” from Life of Brian.
Lately, what makes me think of Monty Python, specifically Monty Python and the Holy Grail, is Club Penguin, on which the Princess has an account. Lately the site has been decorated with a medieval theme, and the tables at the pizza place have been replaced with a large round table strewn with goblets and slices of pizza. So whenever the Princess’ penguin avatar strolls into the pizza place, I begin to sing “We’re knights of the round table…” which annoys her to no end.
When I saw this thread I immediately thought of the mountain climber sketch.
Does anyone speak Swahli?
Well, that goes without saying.