I Beat 'Em 'Cause Jesus Told Me To

Those of you who’ve read the Rev. Ivan Stang’s, of the Church of the SubGenius, classic tome High Weirdness by Mail, are no doubt familiar with the Aggressive Christians Mission Training Corps. For those of you who aren’t, think of them as Phelps Lite[sup]®[/sup]. The leader of the sect, it seems, was recently arrested for beating his “flock”.

Though it looks like it wasn’t a one-sided battle:

They bill themselves as an alternative to the Salvation Army, but quite frankly, as the above quotes should illustrate, they’re a bunch of flaming flying nutbags.

Almost 20 years ago, my then roommate and I spent our free time (Hey, there was no cheap internet then! What were we supposed to do?) writing them letters as anguished “Christians” who were horribly beset by eeeeviiiiiiil folks as we tried to minister the words of Christ to the uncaring at our university. From reading their literature (and my roommate was able to bilk them out of probably a couple of grand worth of materials), I can tell you that they’re pretty “touched” as it were. They didn’t go as far as Phelps in getting in your face, but the members of their group were so far gone that they’d do the whole “speaking in tongues while thrashing about” routine during their religious services and there was an undercurrent of violence running through their writings. Now, it seems, that violence has broken through the veneer to the point that the local authorities are involved. Frankly, I’m surprised it took this long.