I broke the rules...but which one? Office politics

[DrDeth]

@Little Nemo

You asked an innocuous question that appears to have had an embarassing answer. Don’t sweat it; it happens.

Right. Don’t sweat it. Also- due- this is America- with the possible exception of US Senators and above, there are no solid class distinctions. In other words, you can be chatty and friendly to just about anyone.

[Voyager]

@gigi

No, no! Even this may be too forward with someone who is inappropriately flirty. Even “It’s good to see you again” could get construed as “he made a pass at me”. Steer clear, steer clear!

Agree strongly! Let it drop. You didn’t even assume she was doing well with your question - I can’t think of a better thing to ask in the circumstances.

I don’t think this is really office politics though, but more a case of mixing the family and the firm. Maybe anti-nepotism rules are good ideas after all!

[Tristan]

Hmmm…

I guess the problem is, I tend to flirt right back. The trick is finding out how far flirting is willing to go. Hehehe…

[The_Mad_Hermit]

@don't ask

Being as how you are in the US of A I bet you get whacked.

I don’t get this. What are you saying?

[R.P.McMurphy]

Sounds like you work in a company where they are not going to let you do anything right anyway. You should be used to it.

Might as well find out if the carpet matches the drapes. Then you can go out in style.

[DrDeth]

@The Mad Hermit

I don’t get this. What are you saying?

He’s been seeing too many US movies, like Lethal Weapon and other police/crime action films.

[handsomeharry]

@Spartydog

Might as well find out if the carpet matches the drapes. Then you can go out in style.

I laughed!

hh

[Klaatu]

Yep, I agree with the above posters, apparently there is a Problem and a Secret with the young lady and her family, and your seemingly innocent question freaked them out.

Just hope she isn’t psycho and told her mom she got pregnant and you were the father and she had to…sorry, that was a movie…

Seriously, never be alone with her for a second, and just do your job.

[Sleel]

I’m blunt, so I probably would have said something like, “Okay, bad question, forget I asked. Sorry about that.” Like other people said, I wouldn’t worry about it. It probably has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. You didn’t do anything wrong that I can see.

Daughter does sound like potential trouble. At 20 or so, she’s already done quite a bit of experimenting with her flirting. Unless she’s exceptionally naive, she probably knows at least some of what she’s doing. I don’t think she’s “practicing,” though there’s a possibility that she might not be entirely conscious of her behavior. The problem is that she might not realize that it’s inappropriate in this situation, or she might be very self centered and will do anything to get what she wants. If you value your position, you do not ever want to be alone with her. Almost as bad as actual inappropriate behavior on your part is if she wants you to do something and you don’t. Either way, you’re fucked, and not in the good sense.

Of course, if you don’t really need your job and like to live on the edge, you could flirt back and see how far it goes. You could take the chance that she’s actually serious about it. It sounds like there’s a pretty good possibility of being able to bang the hot boss’s daughter. It’s one of those high-risk, high-reward propositions.

[DrunkOnion]

@handsomeharry

(This may sound at first like it will be interesting, or maybe even sizzling. Sorry, not even close. If the mundane holds no charm for you, stop reading right now.)
Situation: Handsomeharry, lowly office clerk.
20 or more echelons above me, Big Boss.
Principal: Boss’s daughter.

OK, the boss’s daughter interned last semester at work. She: a 18-20 yr. old college student, cutie, little flirt. Flirts with me, daddy figure, be nice to the peon, just practicing on older men so she can control international governments, wants to show mom that she can control men too, who knows.
Constant flirting, even in front of Mom (big boss.)
She goes to university for 1 year. Overheard from reliable sources she had had a smashing year, with excellent grades, etc…

Returns one year later (beginning of summer,) walks in door with Mom. My normal greeting to everybody is “How are you doing?” and this is how I started with her. Not knowing situation, you’d think that she finally found her long lost love. It would look to an outsider that she was just about to jump over my desk for romance. Fortunately, I knew she was just practicing, so I didn’t hug or kiss or ask her out, or anything stupid. Now, here comes the strange, albeit mundane part referenced above. She was still standing there, not leaving as I was hoping, so I said “How did your school year go?”
Boss’s daughter: [stare] {Her mother, bigboss, helped me out by staring at me in the same manner, just so I wouldn’t be left without a reference point in case I wasn’t sure what kind of stare it was. My interpretation of stare: “HH in polite society, one doesn’t ask these things, but we’ll not embarrass you by castigating you for the patently egregious faux pas, or by answering you.”}
Handsomeharry: (Nervous, weak half-grin)
Boss’s daughter: mumble, mumble
Handsomeharry: Have a nice day!
[Exuent]

So- I know one isn’t supposed to try to be familiar with the royal family, but I had to say something, and I didn’t think this was too personal. I didn’t even address her by name, just to keep them from thinking that I was foolish enough to consider myself a real person. I was honestly just trying to ramrod them through the greeting so I could get back to my SDMB. But, I’m curious just which one of the rules of office politics/class role that I broke?

Can anybody enlighten me?

Thanks,
hh

Man it could suck to be you… or it could be you to be sucked.

Play it safe… Do Mom

[MsRobyn]

I’d let it go and not bring it up again. You made a casual remark that was designed to elicit small talk, and they took it the wrong way, for whatever reason. Further inquiries or apologies will only antagonize them further.

That said, don’t even so much as be alone in a room with this girl for any reason. She definitely sounds like trouble.

Robin

[handsomeharry]

Thanks for the fine, fine advice from all of you.

Latest update: I’m not sure, but I see indications that the darling is not going to school currently, which would highlight all of your collective wisdom, and my stupidity, in re a terrible school year, vs. the alleged great one.
You all have inspired me!

Thanks again,

hh

[handsomeharry]

@featherlou

Heh - if you wanted to keep them squirming, I’d go have a nice, private chat with Big Boss and say unctuously, “You seemed uncomfortable yesterday when I asked how your daughter’s school was going. My apologies for broaching the subject.” - it seems like you’re apologizing, but you’re actually twisting the knife they gave you a little. Hee.

Somehow, I misread this, and didn’t get the point of it until just now. This is gold!

As are all of the other great posts!

Blessings upon you all!

hh

[a35362]

So what happened with the young lady? Just curious for a follow up.

[Voyager]

They are all retired by now.

Or undead.

[Debaser]

Update: Now the principal daughter is 24-26 and hot as ever. She and the OP are married and have many beautiful read headed babies, but the big boss hasn’t settled any capital on them as punishment.

[RTFirefly]

@Voyager

They are all retired by now.

Or undead.

According to his profile, handsomeharry has posted as recently as yesterday. So an update is always possible. My bet is that nothing further happened worthy of an update, but maybe he’ll stop in and we’ll find out.

[Count_Blucher]

I believe that both were dispatched in Season One of AMC’s “The Walking Dead”.

[China_Guy]

This is a zombie thread worth revisiting. How is Mom doin’ anyway?

[GusNSpot]

Waiting…