I broke the rules...but which one? Office politics

In My Humble Opinion
1

(This may sound at first like it will be interesting, or maybe even sizzling. Sorry, not even close. If the mundane holds no charm for you, stop reading right now.)
Situation: Handsomeharry, lowly office clerk.
20 or more echelons above me, Big Boss.
Principal: Boss’s daughter.

OK, the boss’s daughter interned last semester at work. She: a 18-20 yr. old college student, cutie, little flirt. Flirts with me, daddy figure, be nice to the peon, just practicing on older men so she can control international governments, wants to show mom that she can control men too, who knows.
Constant flirting, even in front of Mom (big boss.)
She goes to university for 1 year. Overheard from reliable sources she had had a smashing year, with excellent grades, etc…

Returns one year later (beginning of summer,) walks in door with Mom. My normal greeting to everybody is “How are you doing?” and this is how I started with her. Not knowing situation, you’d think that she finally found her long lost love. It would look to an outsider that she was just about to jump over my desk for romance. Fortunately, I knew she was just practicing, so I didn’t hug or kiss or ask her out, or anything stupid. Now, here comes the strange, albeit mundane part referenced above. She was still standing there, not leaving as I was hoping, so I said “How did your school year go?”
Boss’s daughter: [stare] {Her mother, bigboss, helped me out by staring at me in the same manner, just so I wouldn’t be left without a reference point in case I wasn’t sure what kind of stare it was. My interpretation of stare: “HH in polite society, one doesn’t ask these things, but we’ll not embarrass you by castigating you for the patently egregious faux pas, or by answering you.”}
Handsomeharry: (Nervous, weak half-grin)
Boss’s daughter: mumble, mumble
Handsomeharry: Have a nice day!
[Exuent]

So- I know one isn’t supposed to try to be familiar with the royal family, but I had to say something, and I didn’t think this was too personal. I didn’t even address her by name, just to keep them from thinking that I was foolish enough to consider myself a real person. I was honestly just trying to ramrod them through the greeting so I could get back to my SDMB. But, I’m curious just which one of the rules of office politics/class role that I broke?

Can anybody enlighten me?

Thanks,
hh

2

Methinks that being less handsome might be a good think.

3

I think anything you did pales in comparison to the inappropriateness of her behavior. Or she wasn’t actually at school and was caught out by the question.

4

I don’t think you did anything wrong here. It seems to me there’s more going on with The Princess, and she was stuck for an answer to your question because The Truth would be too much. BossMom, torn between loyalty to wayward (?) daughter and lowly employee, obviously picked the daughter.

Don’t ever ever ever be alone with her. Ever. She sounds like trouble with a capital T.

5

“How did your school year go?”

Possible answers:

Look for me on the next volume of “Girls Gone Wild - Spring Break”

I had a GPA of 0.16

I had a torrid relationship with a married professor

I had a torrid relationship with a French art student, who wound up with my car and my bank account

I was the key witness in a term paper scandal investigation

School? Is that what I said I was doing?

As you can see, the entire subject is a minefield. Perhaps next time you should limit the pleasantries to “It’s good to see you again.”

6

Sounds like you exposed Daddy’s lies about everything being rosy and picture-perfect.

Daughter and Mother were probably much more embarrassed than you should be. Don’t sweat it.

7

I’ve always been one to keep the boss, and family, at arm’s length, but I don’t see where you did anything. It’s a problem with them, not you. Of course you would have heard she was havong a great year at school. Of course, you would remmeber it, and then ask her about it next time you saw her. Unless there’s more to the story. You didn’t cop a feel, did you?

8

Could also be “I was giving birth to the daughter that will be raised as my sister so the neighbors won’t gossip” or "I was an Exchange Student at The Betty Ford Clinic. "

Stick with the weather; its doubtful she caused Hurricane Katrina. :smiley:

9

Well, I forgot to mention that she’s a redhead!!!
Thanks all for the answers. I was thinking that my reply had been safe enough, but I couldn’t quite figure out the double stare treatment. I hadn’t even thought (d’oh!) that the glowing reports could have been a lie, :smack: , but it would sure would explain a lot!
Thanks again,
hh

10

You asked an innocuous question that appears to have had an embarassing answer. Don’t sweat it; it happens.

11

Bang bosses daughter, take pictures, hold Big Boss for ransom with pics.

Or not. You know, your call.
Seriously, if you’re interested or think there may be more to it, drop her an e-mail. If you’re just stressed that you commited a faux pas, well, no worries.

They can’t fire you for being polite.

12

It’s perfectly natural to ask a college student how their school year was. The polite answer, even if it’s not true, is “Fine, thanks for asking.” Boss and daughter acting like you pissed in the punch bowl is just going to raise the question, “What really happened?” and lead to speculation of the worst kind (see above).

13

Agree with both h. sapiens and kunilou.

And next time, cop a feel – but of the mother, if she’s attractive.

14

Being as how you are in the US of A I bet you get whacked.

15

That’s where I have a problem. Do these women not know how to lie to be polite? I learned how to do that before kindergarten!

Harry, you did nothing wrong. After all, you were informed (probably by daughter herself) that she was off to college last fall. Not your fault if things changed after that. That whole shooting-porn-in-the-library and cocaine-laced-cookie-bake-sale thing didn’t make it onto your radar.

16

I’m thinking the unspoken mom-and-daughter response translates as “Funny, we were just fighting about that very topic.”

17

I agree with everyone who says you did nothing wrong. You can talk to anyone in a company and expect a polite response, and if you don’t get one, it reflects on the person not giving it to you, not you. We’re employees, not indentured servants or slaves. Your question was only one step more personal than asking how you are, and nowhere near intrusive or nosy. Heh - if you wanted to keep them squirming, I’d go have a nice, private chat with Big Boss and say unctuously, “You seemed uncomfortable yesterday when I asked how your daughter’s school was going. My apologies for broaching the subject.” - it seems like you’re apologizing, but you’re actually twisting the knife they gave you a little. Hee.

I also agree with those saying stay far, far away from flirty daughter. If you want to keep your job, that is. If not, go wild!

18

Something happened at school and they thought you somehow heard about it. You didn’t ellaborate, so it was a false alarm.

19

My money would be here. Even if grades were OK I don’t think school went quite as well as planned. Abusive boyfriends, trouble with drugs, the law, an emergency abortion, it could be anything.

20

No, no! Even this may be too forward with someone who is inappropriately flirty. Even “It’s good to see you again” could get construed as “he made a pass at me”. Steer clear, steer clear!