I Came Back...and I Brought Pie

The giving and receiving of pie is a sacrament in my religion…in fact its the only sacrament (so far). I’m still working out the rest of the details. These revelations are tricky things. Just ask Joseph Smith. How you resist a chance to rack up some holy brownie points in my version of the hereafter. Giving pie to the founder of the religion is pretty damned holy. Not giving pie is a sure ticket to my version of damantion, which I also am still working out the details on. I’m pretty sure it involves no pie throughout eternity and will very scary and painful. Why risk that?

I have my own apple pie, and it will kick your pie’s ass any day of the week, yet still taste great afterwards with or without ice cream, hot or cold or any damnwhere between.

This is true.

I wouldn’t want you to betray your imaginaryreligion. Here. Have pie, and spread the wealth, my boy.

Consider yourself pied.

Consider yourself forgiven for that remark about “my imaginary religion.” The giving of pie erases many sins, my child.

And it was tasty too. Mmmmmmmmmmmm.

Huh?
what?
Imaginary religion??
they all are, after all.
I never said anything like that…
Oh well, Pie does heal all wounds.
takes a little longer for broken bones.

Deal! As long as The Unkempt One is on board, we should be set.
Woohoo! Roast beef and a wheelbarrow full of cash? Score!

Well, Unkempt One?

What’s the deal?