My wife called me from work last night, and asked me to pick her up. It was an hour earlier than usual and she sounded upset. She got in the car and I could tell she had been crying. As we drove home she told me what had happened. My wife is a cook at a local restaurant, it is a shitty job. What makes it even shittier is that she has a bachelor’s degree, but there is not really anything for her to work at in this excrement of a town. She has been working there for a few months, things were going ok. She works with mostly teenagers, immature, snot nosed, redneck, ignorant, trailer trash douche nozzles. Last night there was a group of them hanging around (none of them employed there). One of the waitresses dared a girl to go and grab my wife’s ass. I guess she thought it would be funny. That everyone would laugh, including my wife. She couldn’t have been more wrong. I have to mention that my wife is Thai; anyone familiar with your typical Thai woman will understand why I mention this for this particular situation. My wife was horrified, she felt disrespected, humiliated, and a little bit betrayed. My wife has worked hard for that place; she comes home crying from the burns on her hands or pain from standing. It is not an easy job; the people who run the restaurant for the most part love her to death, and treat her very well. Then something like this happens. She already had less than fond view of America’s youth, now its totally fucked. There is nothing I can say or do that’s going to keep her in this country for much longer. She never wanted to come here to begin with. She came here for me, she was happy in Thailand. She is tired of the presumptions that she was desperate to leave her country and be an American, she is tired of the weird looks, and the whispers behind her back. She is lonely, frustrated, and homesick. Then this happened, it was the last straw. I now have to figure out how I’m going to make a marriage work on opposites ends of the earth. We’ll manage, but it won’t be easy. Thanks a lot to the heap of cow shit that thought this would be funny, fuck you.
I would suggest your wife complain to the manager. I don’t think she should claim sexual harassment, but I think it should be explained to these kids that it was really inappropriate, and that they owe her an appology.
Good luck.
Oh, Goddess! :eek:
I am so sorry! 
I will send you and your wife energy, use it as needed. I’ll pray for you both too.
((mighty_maxx and his wife))
Tell her, that there are some Americans, at least who do care. If I had been there, and seen that happen, I’d have let them have it verbally “both barrels” (no cussing though). They likely would have ended up sheepishly apologizing. Many of us Americans really do not believe that such behavior is in the least bit acceptable.
Good Luck and Bright Blessings to you both. Keep us updated, and if she wants, she can e-mail me, using you as a proxy if necessary. I’d be honored to be her internet “pen pal”.
The girl, who instigated it, did apologize. From the way it sounds it wasn’t very sincere. More like a “oops better say something or I’ll lose my job” apology. It was not much help. The damage has been done. She has met a lot of good people here, but it seems it is 1 good for every 2 bad. That’s a ratio she is not able to deal with. We have spoken with the manager, and the waitress who started will probably lose her job over it. That doesn’t make me feel any better. Though she did deserve it, it will more than likely lead to feeding the already ignorant girl’s feelings towards foreigners.
I wish you lived in a more tolerant community, with more people you both could relate to, and surrond yourselves with.
There’s no chance you could move someplace like Hawaii, is there? From what I understand of the culture there, it might be just the place where you both could thrive. I hope you don’t have to be seperated.
Once again, Good Luck…
(The pen pal offer stands.)
Hawaii would be great. Similar climate, with multicultural atmosphere . The problem is employment. The cost of living there is high. Unless I got really lucky and knew someone there with contacts. The chances of getting there would be slim. I will mention the pen-pal offer. She is not online much at all, and when she is it is to read about home. But it may make her feel a little better to know that a perfect stranger can offer something nice. Something she is not seen a lot of lately.
blush
Check out employment opportunities in Hawaii, maybe there’s an excellent job opening. It’s worth looking into at least, and worth periodic checks. A slim chance is better than no chance at all. I’ll pray that something comes up that is long term and stable.
How about Thailand, then? She’d be happy there—any chance you would find a job there? I have no idea what the employment situation is like in Thailand (or even what you do for a living).
Damn, that is rough. I’ve had to work with shitheads like you described in the OP, and although I’ve never been the target of their shittiness I’ve seen the effect it can have on other people. I swear we need to start a eugenics program to sterilize fucks like that and prevent more of them from crawling out of the shallow end of the gene pool.
Is there any chance of you guys perhaps moving to a more urban location (you might be in an urban location but you said town in your OP so I’m thinking not). That’d give her a better chance to find a job befitting her education and in my experience people in cities tend to be a little more worldly and tolerant of different cultures then people in more rural areas. It’d be a pain in the ass for you to move and find a job, but it’s just a thought.
And please tell your wife that this blue-blooded American finds the way she was treated to be abhorrent and disrespectful.
Thailand is certainly a viable option. The job market there is tight. You have to be virtual IT god to land a job that pays enough. I do live in a small town. I am currently looking for a more urban environment. Anywhere in the USA or abroadis fair game now. I’m at the bottom of IT scale I just recently got my CCNA, it is a start. Not really enough to be desired by international companies just yet.
My sympathy, MM. Sadly, I’ve had to put up with people like this before (and I use the term “people” loosely). They’ve never left the county, they’re never going to leave the county, and as far as they’re concerned, there’s no reason to leave the county.
There’s not a lot you can do about that mentality, either. That’s the sad thing.
That said, I second the idea of moving to a larger city, where your wife doesn’t have to work under these conditions. It sounds like she works too damn hard to have to put up with these mental midgets.
Robin
Sure the kids were jerks.
But if it bothered your wife so much that she wants to leave the hemisphere, then maybe she’d better start packing, either with or without you.
Sounds like she’s got a hell of a lot more issues than her stupid cow-orkers.
I’m really sorry you have marital problems, and all things considered I’d rather your wife were happy. But she obviously isn’t, so maybe you’d better figure out something positive to do, instead of whining about inconsiderate teenagers while succumbing to inertia.
HOORAY FOR COMPASSION!
Could you possibly be more snarky,** Dinsdale ** ? :rolleyes: :dubious:
He’s already stated that he’s improving his employability factor, and implied that he is looking into jobs in better places. I’d call that positive.
Your rigid incomprehension of “culture shock” does you no credit. I can only hope that you won’t ever experience the same things she is. I don’t think you’d have the dignity, or self discipline to deal with it, and stay out of trouble.
Jeez Dinsdale, having been fortunate enough to reside in Thailand for three years when I was growing up-I can tell you that social mores especially regarding appropriate/inappropriate touching is very different there.
Have you never experienced a time in your life when, after having had one negative thing after another happen to you in rapid sucession,you’ve wanted to just give up?
Just a thought, but lots of schools are now needing IT specialists. I don’t know what sort of pay you’re looking for, but if you’re at the bottom of the rungs at the moment anyhow, you might consider it. You don’t actually have that much interaction with students; you’re the all-important troubleshooting guy. Still, it might be an option.
Thanks for that Dinsdale. How you managed to cram all that worldly wisdom, and awe-inspiring insightfulness into one paragraph is beyond me. Anyway, the IT jobs at universities are not something I thought about, but will look into it now. Zabali, your mention of “culture shock” is right on. That’s exactly what is happening. jlzania I’m glad you understand why where she is from has a lot to do with her reaction. We’re not giving up. We just basically got “nudged” to do something else, now.
You’re welcome, bro.
Keep on blaming everyone else for your problems.
Someone who wants to move halfway around the world because they got their ass grabbed is gonna have a hard time fitting in in any parts of the US I’ve been. Over-react much?
mighty_maxx - upon reflection, whatever my thoughts concerning this situation, I apologize for expressing myself in the manner that I did in this thread.
I hope everything works out for you and your wife.
Shit, Dinsdale, will you just shut the fuck up? You don’t know this couple, and you’re ready to toss out a full scale marital analysis based on three posts on a message board? Dickhead.
Good luck, mm. Different cultures can enhance a relationship, but they can also make it volatile. I hope you and your wife find a place that pleases you both.