don’t forget to throw some monkey shit! mr dribble will make a good target
Now on the sidewalk, sunny morning, lies a body just oozin’ life.
Stranger
Well no, but of the hundred or so who do most of the posting, maybe? And I thought I was the socially challenged one. :rolleyes:
:rolleyes: 
right back atcha.
Did you hear about Louie Miller? He disappeared…
Yes. What is odd about the whole disappearance is that it occurred after he withdrew all of his savings.
What the fuck is your problem with my Silverbacks? Hell, they won Saturday. 10-1-1 now. Top of their division. Sheesh.
I bet anyone of those chicks could kick the OP’s ass
:::::shakes walker at billfish:::::
Careful bro’! Don’t go messing with my pal or I’ll smack you over the head with this thing and take all your middle-aged hoes!
And now ole Mackie spends like a sailor. Could it be our boy’s done something rash?
:dubious:
That’s funny. Reno is my next stop! (Seriously)
Look, I am a man. I have an ocean of testosterone flowing through my veins.
“Hey babe. Here’s my Blackberry. Take a picture of me kicking your boyfriend’s ass.”
Some people are “What should I have done in this situation?” people and others are “Hey! Look what I did!” people I guess.
You didn’t do anything! You just shoved one fucking guy. That’s it. Get over your bad ass self.
Seeing as I can’t call the cops on the guy or do anything else to stop the guy from being an asshole, the guy is allowed to be it if he wants. And I reject that. Being an asshole hurts society.
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Why the hell are they different? What is the point of judging someone to be an asshole if you can’t do anything about it?
That’s not the question, though. The question is, what if the guy walked up to you, got in your face, fake punched you, then rattled off about how he’s had sex with your daughter and wife several times, talks about how ugly they were, and repeatedly does this, while blocking your way out of the situation.
I say he crossed the line, even though he didn’t throw a punch.
There is not a single person on this planet that cannot be provoked into a fight. If you are clearly trying to start one, then I think that should count as actually starting it.
Might wanna dig out the old dictionary there.
The fact that he didn’t do anything, even though he really wanted to, would be sufficient bragging rights to me. I don’t think I’d have that much restraint while drunk.
IMHO, going around punching people for being assholes hurts society worse. Not saying anything against you personally, but I don’t think I trust the average guy-in-a-bar’s asshole-detection threshold to be necessarily calibrated at a reasonable level.
The “first punch” criterion, on the other hand, furnishes a nice bright line: namely, don’t use physical violence on anybody unless they use physical violence on you first. Simple to understand and easy to apply.
Should you be entitled to counter any behavior that you think is wrong by initiating physical violence? For instance, if you see a mother at the mall screaming insults and profanity at her crying child, should you be able to go over and bitch-slap her for it? Would that tend to improve the situation, in general?
There are lots of things that people do that we judge to be wrong but can’t “do anything” to forcibly stop. Our judgements about wrong behavior don’t become pointless just because we’re not allowed to give the offender a spontaneous asswhupping.
If some slimy asshole is literally physically blocking you from removing yourself from his slimy assholish presence, I certainly think you’re entirely justified in physically trying to push past him. If he physically restrains you or hits you, then he’s the one who started the fight, and I don’t blame you in the least for fighting back.
Otherwise…nope. I think you can certainly tell the slimy asshole exactly what you think of his disgusting contemptible gratuitous obscenities, if you want to. (And if I’m in the bar I’ll be happy to tell the asshole what I think of them too.) But I don’t think it’s okay to hit a person who didn’t hit you, no matter how much of a slimy asshole they’re being.
Sure, but that’s all the more reason not to encourage them to succumb to the provocation by saying that it’s okay to hit somebody who didn’t hit you first.
O.K. msmith537, I’m going to give you a piece of advice. If you must tell a fight or sex story, it should at least have a fight or sex in it. I’ll give you an example by relating the last fight I was in.
Two years ago, I was 34, my girlfriend of the time and I were walking home from the bar. We fell in with one of her neighbors and his cousin who were walking to the same condo complex. It was two by two with my girlfriend and her neighbor in front and me and the guy’s cousin about ten yards behind. We’re all pretty drunk, but the guy’s cousin has also been gobbling xanax all night and he’s fucking crazy.
Because my girlfriend is ahead of us, we can’t help but look at her ass. This motherfucker says, and I shit you not, “I want to rape that”. Obviously that pissed me off, so I just went at him. I grabbed him by the neck with my right hand and squeezed the fuck out of his adam’s apple with my thumb while throwing largely innefectual blows with my left. He mirrored me and grabbed me by the neck and we stumbled around off balance. It ain’t the movies and the choreography is ugly.
I got him in the leg with my knee and we both went down to the sidewalk in a drunken heap. The ground is a decent place for me because way back in high school I used to wrestle (third in state! 1991). I ended up with my knee in his back while I used both hands to bang his head against the sidewalk. Never broke the skin, but scratched him up pretty good. Neighbor, who I actually like, tries to pull me off his cousin. I’m in a rage and I throw a blind punch backwards and get him across the nose. I still feel a bit guilty about that. Girlfriend pulls me off the guy’s cousin, and I calm down.
Girlfriend is not happy that I kicked her neighbors cousin’s ass. Not at all. Neighbor is just wondering “what the fuck was THAT about?!”
It ended up all right in the end, well, the next day. Both girlfriend and neighbor found out about what drug addled cousin said after he drove back to Tennessee. Neighbor even gave me a poker set as a way of apology.
The thing is, fights aren’t pretty, and they are rarely anything to brag about.
That’s a fight story, msmith537. Yours is not, which is why everybody is making fun of your posturing. You didn’t fight and you didn’t get laid (for what it’s worth, I didn’t get laid either that night - girlfriend was pissed and we were both pretty damn drunk)
Do you see the difference between my story and yours?
All man, as you have proven! Manlier than Chuck Norris and James Bond combined.
And some people are all, “Look at the super badass shit I did,” followed the lamest, dumbest pile of shit story I have ever read.
Regardless of the fact that the OP didn’t include an actual fight or anything, I think the biggest difference between the OP story and the story above is that A Monkey With a Gun doesn’t make himself out to be mr. fucking cool tough guy in his story. There’s no “I shoved a guy across the room with a drink in my other hand” bullshit in the story above, which is what has caused me to mock the OP so unceasingly.
MeanOldLady, have I ever told you that I find your abrasive, acid-tongued (acid-keyboarded?) sense of humor, brutal honesty and cutting sarcasm to be extremely attractive?
Sorry dude, but that’s a very lame fight story. If I had seen that fight, I would be embarrassed. I’m no street fighter but I can handle myself in a brawl. I’ve also been in situations where I’ve been in situations where I had to balance some level of professionalism with having to physically intervene in a fight. I’m on msmith’s side, and even he realizes his actions were a bit douchey. But you’re in a bar that’s known to have a level of douchiness associated with it. What do you expect?
You can say that you wouldn’t go to such places, but a lot of people do at some point in their lives. They can be a lot of fun, but some level of assertiveness is required. The specific action depends on the situation, and in this case msmith handled himself well and ended up disarming the fight situation (again, even he said that he could have handled it better by verbally shooting the guy down).
Wow. I really can’t get over how many people are defending this guy. What the hell is wrong you people?
This is a grown man. Shoving and trying to start a fight with someone because he was rude to him. That’s not defending yourself, that’s just being a stupid immature jackass. I really thought this was pretty basic stuff.
And then there’s this little write-up: “Yeah, I shoved this guy clear across the room. Totally kicked his ass, had all his women aching for my junk. I had shut them down, though, little lady back home, ya know”.
Yeah, I don’t see how that couldn’t be as well received as a sick person, telling about how they’re sick. Yeah, but leave it the SDMB, though. You know, to have compassion. Instead of whatever you call it when you like listening to someone brag like an eighth grader.
I think this one ranks right up there with the one about the store owner who shot an unconscious kid in the list of “threads that make me lose a little faith in humanity”.
That sounds like bragging to me. Don’t make it out to be something it’s not.