I cant fight this much ignorance

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

My neighbor, tracey, has a kid in the same class as my youngest, so we made friends in the months since I have been un employeed and at home. She is making me insane!!!

She is a new convert to a local baptist church. great, I am happy for her, really I am. And I envy her, it must be a big releif to not be responsible for anything, everything that happens is up to god, its all planned out, we just are along for the ride.

she wont leave me alone!!! She verbally assaults me with christianity everytime I see her!! she hasnt had an original thought in her head since she got ‘churched’, all she does is talk about the bible etc. She actually thinks the earth is 10 000 yrs old, Adam and Eve lived a thousand years and populated the planet…dinosaurs are a HOAX, carbon dating is WRONG… We USED to be friends! I used to be able to talk to her about my life, my hope and fears, and she would do the same, now I say I am worried about raising the tuition money for school, she chirps like the parrot she has become : the lord will provide.

My mom has been fighting cancer for two years, and its over. That hurts to write. They told her yesterday they wont be continuing treatment any longer. They are fixing her up wiht oxygene, and maybe a feeding tube so she can go home to die. I am of course distraught beyond any comfort. I yell at my kids, I cant sleep, and alternate between binging and forgetting to eat, I am a total fucking wreck.

What does Tracey Churchhead do? Yesterday I open my yahoo mail to find a note from her (really a forwarded ad!) about the miracles of Noni juice, how it cures all from dandruff to cancer. with ordering info at the bottom.

I cant express in words how sick and hurt I was by this. My precious brave mother is desperatly ill, she is dying, really dying, not just “will probably die from cancer someday, maybe not for a few years” but DYING! And she sends me this spam??

I feel violated truth be told, as if someone I trusted betrayed me.

She used to be my friend, now she is an empty headed fool who beleives EVERYTHING she is told!

I gathered myself enough to reply this:**

To bad its not true eh?

This is an excellent site debunking misinformation
about herbals etc:

http://www.quackwatch.com/cgi-bin/mfs/24/home/sbinfo/public_html/01QuackeryR
elatedTopics/DSH/suppsherbs.html?178#mfs

Sadly there are alot of sick people easily scammed by
this crap, if I had a dollar for every silly quack
dure people suggested for mom, I could afford to send
her to a quackery clinic in Mexico. The internet is a
maze of misinformation.

Too bad there is no magic cure all though, htat would
be great.**

Silly bitch that I am , I thought that would be the end of it. She replied:
it is true…I know ppl who use it. My Dad’s best friend had prostrate
cancer, and it’s gone now. and my Mom has something wrong with her
stomach,
she’s thinks it’s a tumor but refuses to go to the doctor, and it helps
her
too, if she stops drinking it, it gets real painful, but as long as she
drinks the juice she’s fine. I didn’t hear about this juice via the
internet, I heard about it from ppl who use it.
: )
Tracey
Her kid and my kid are friends, we live very close to each other, but I cant wrap my head around her crap!!

HOW THE HELL DOES SOMEONE GET THIS STUPID??

I am so messed up right now, I need the few friends I have, I cant handle spam like that, it makes me cry, it makes me enraged to the point I want to hurt people…]

I am SO scared when mom dies she will tell me it was gods will, or gods plan, and i will really hurt her.

WHat do you do about ignorance THIS profound?

Anyone??

2

First off, let me take a moment to express my deepest condolences about your mother. I can’t really relate to what you’re going through, but I wish you the best.

Judging from what you’ve said about Tracey, I don’t think you can expect anything good from her. Friendships end, and it looks like it might be time to cut off this one. I’m sorry that she’s so insensitive.

Again, the best to you in these troubled times.

3

Kelli, when I replied to you in my thread I didn’t realize that your mom had cancer or was terminal. Please accept my condolences. I can honestly say I can understand how you feel, to a degree, having lost my brother to melanoma. I pray peace of mind and heart for you, and an easy passing for your mom. Her bravery is undisputed; I’ve witnessed the struggle myself.

{{{{{{{{{{{{Kelli & family}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Try not to sweat Tracy too much; just realize there are airheads in all walks of life, and let it go.

4

Kelli, you should probably cut Tracey loose. Sometimes people get over the euphoric rush they experience on first becoming churched, and they can go on (either with their faith or without) to become sane people again after they adapt; so I’d suggest not burning any bridges when you tell her you can’t be her friend right now.

On another note, two weeks ago today my mom died after a 12 year fight with various lung problems, including emphysema and cancer. I don’t pretend to have a lock on how you feel, but as someone who has just gone through this same experience, I want you to know I understand first hand how horribly unfair and vile an experience this is and I wish you and your family all the best.

5

Thank you.

6

Yep. Met some of those. Unfortunately, she was probably pre-disposed toward that in the first place. It’s very unfortunate that she’s twisted it all around to where it’s a weight on everyone around her. Not very Christ-like.

I’m very sorry to hear about your Mom. Will you accept a prayer from someone who hasn’t sold his brain?

7

Man, I should know better than to read SDMB at work… if people don’t think I’m crazy from laughing out loud, they wonder if something’s wrong with me because I cry when I read threads like this.

kellibelli, my heart goes out to you. I can guess how difficult it can be for you to go through something like this, and how you don’t need the stress that this Tracey woman is dumping on you. It might help to remember that nothing this woman does or says has any meaning that you don’t attach to her actions. If you can hold on to that thought, perhaps you can come to ignore her.

FallenAngel, it speaks very well of your compassion that you can reach out while dealing with your own situation. Bravo…

8

First, kelli, though we’ve hardly crossed paths, I wish you and your mother, a peaceful end to suffering, tragic though it is.

Next, hearing about your neighbor makes me grit my teeth and cringe. I always, always wonder how someone can just hand over their decision-making ability, carte blanche, and take the word of others as guidance for their every action. Not the allowance that military personnel make- trusting their superiors and comrades to assist them and complete the mission, but the utter disconnect these people, almost always new-religious/reborn, have with reality and common sense.*

The ignorance, the complete stupefying and cowing of these people into, essentially, herd animals bleating their “message” is almost painful to watch and exasperating and infuriating to be on the receiving end of.

It’s tragic, in this case, not only because you’ve lost a friend, kelli, but that she will do more to alienate and hurt you in your time of need (of friends, that is) through her mindless blather than if she were just to have gone away.

[sub]*: This is not to say, of course, that all newly-religious or reborn are the idiots kelli and I are talking about, but rather that those idiots I am talking about are almost always, without fail, newly-religious or reborn.[/sub]

9

Gee, Kelli, real sorry about your mom. If you need to yell, you know where to find me.

10

Oh, Kelli. :frowning: I’m so sorry to hear that you’re struggling with so much right now. And to have someone who was a friend behave this way only adds to your burdens. People like your friend give the rest of us Christians a bad name, and are really clueless as to what real Christianity is about.

I lost my dad to lung cancer when my son was a month old. My father-in-law to lung cancer just over 4 yrs later. My mom to cancer 5 months after dad-in-law. Then an aunt and my cousin and… This is only the start of some really tough days ahead for you. If I can help in any way, talk to me, yell at me, cry on my shoulders, whatever I can do, you have only to ask. I don’t know where you live, but if I lived close enough, I’d come over and give you a big hug in person. Then pitch in to help in whatever was most needed.

You, your mom, and your kids are in my prayers. As is your friend, that she wakes up and realizes that the best thing she can do for you right now is to shut up and listen to your needs.

{{{{{{Kelli & family}}}}}}

11

Kelli…cut this woman out of your life now. She is beyond dealing with. I had a friend who “succumbed” to Scientology in much the same way about 20 years ago. It hurt, but I cut it off. I faced a similar situation with her.

Not all born again Christians become morons…this woman has lost the ability to be empathic and live in the real world, which may or may not have anything to do with her religious convictions. You need people around you to give you stregnth and love. She is beyond that, and you are not in a position to have to “fight” her. She is her own problem…don’t make her yours. You are losing a parent and a friend at the same time…prioritise nad deal with Tracy later. Right now she does not need your energy.

I am very very sorry about your mom. I lost my Dad to cancer six years ago. It hurts. Concentrate your energies towards your mother and your family.

I am so sorry. Hugs.

12

I wanted to add this:

FallenAngel, it says a lot about your character, all good, that you posted to this so soon after your loss. I hope you are doing okay, though you’re probably not completely. I sure wasn’t when my parents died, not for a while. Take care of yourself, and I’m only an email away.

{{{{{{FallenAngel}}}}}}
To Carina, VB, and any others who have lost loved ones, especially to cancer:

{{{{{{Group Hug}}}}}}

13

I think Carina put it as well as I could. So sorry your neighbor’s reaction to her new found faith is hitting you at this time. Please know that all people of faith aren’t like that. I wish you the strength you’re going to need to get through this. Know you’re in my prayers.

14

kellibelli my sympathy goes out to you. You don’t need the blinders, it’ll be tough, but you’ll come out alright. Dealing with loss is a long difficult process and there are few easy answers I can give you. I’m there myself.

As for your moron friend, that I can solve, just send me her e-mail, she’ll have her own problems for awhile! (I know you wouldn’t but you’re allowed to laugh, it helps.)

15

kelli, I’ll be having a lot of spare time starting this Monday, so if you need someone with a LOT of time on his hands and reduced fuckheadery in his life (English class ends Monday night) to deal with ignorama annoyinga, I’m here for you.

We will beat cancer. We will kick its fucking ass, take names, and reduce it to a quivering mass of aardvark shit. It has taken too many people for its existence to continue much longer.

(((kelli)))

16

kelli, my dad shares a trait with Tracy Churchhead-- I could tell him everyone I love just died and he’d quote scripture at me. He doesn’t mean to be insensitive; it’s truly his way of finding comfort. But it drives me up a wall and I don’t want to hear it when I’m hurting and wondering why awful things happen.

I would cut contact with her, myself, because as others have said you don’t need this right now. Maybe sometime in the future you can work it out with her but dealing with her right now belongs way at the bottom of your to-do list.

You are in my thoughts…

{{{{{Kelli}}}}}

17

Just wanted to apologize for my language . . . I thought this was the pit. ::slaps self with a trout::

Oh, by the way: the numerous sites I found on the stuff have doctors claiming “it works wonders” and such, but don’t give examples of people who have had anything wrong with them . . .

What a shock.

18

Kels,

I know you are going through a really tough time and because of this I believe that you are overreacting a little to your “friend”.
If that is what she believes and you can’t deal with her preaching…tell you you do not want to hear it and if it continues then don’t talk to her, don’t open her emails and don’t bother to reply to her.
I know it would be difficult to do as her kid and Frankie are friends… but that does not mean that you have to be friends with her.

You know where I am if you need me…I can stil be the rock ya know!

Ang

19

kellibelli

Dear friend, I am so sorry that your mom is going to leave you. I lost my mom to cancer four years ago, and I am not sure that I will ever really accept, in my heart, that she is not coming back to me. I accept it with my mind, but I think my heart hurts too much to believe it.

I can’t even comment on your “friend”…I just wanted you to know that I understand what you are going through. And I am here for you, if you need to talk to someone who has been there, and who cares. My heart aches for you, and for your family. I wish there was a better way to say that, one that would express more how badly I feel for you. Please…I know that you have family and friends to help you through this, but I would consider it a priviledge if you would allow me to help you, too. My email address is scotticher@earthlink.net.

I will be praying for you, and sending you loving thoughts now and in the days to come.

Much Love,

Cheri

20

Oh, honey.

I lost my dad to cancer when I was 12. I was (almost) protected by my mother, but still, watching a guy die is watching a guy die.
As regards your friend: count it all love. Whatever mindless crap she sends you, just register it as the love she feels for you. Seriously you don’t want to think any more about it. Don’t worry that there’s a much greater depth of rubbish to what she says: after a few more layers it probably becomes eminently more sensible, it’s just that she hasn’t reached it yet. I’m sp sorry she hasn’t and in a while she’ll be sorry too… for now if she asks for a more serious appraisal, say “I’m sorry but God has me where He wants me.” That’s a great non-answer which has got me out of many scrapes, and is true, too, so you needn’t worry about the future.
I know there’s nothing I can say to you. I can just relate what my parents did. Hug your kids a lot. Explain as much to them as they can bear. They’ll appreciate the respect, and they will help you, more as time goes on. Share with real friends and dump as much on me and the rest of the Dope as you need to.
And kinda… sorta… find some small light in the fact that if we’re right, it really will be okay. I KNOW what that feels like right now: burning leaves in your throat.
But it feels better later.

Your mother loves you and so do we. That won’t change. We are your friends.

We. Are. Your. Friends.
all our love,

Ross and Michelle x x x