I can't get it up.

The BBQ Pit
1

Fucking right that’s what I said…lights a Dunhill

How can this be? I am still a virile male who hasn’t even hit 36, I should have many more good years left in front of me but nooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Could it have been the vasectomy?

Lack of sleep?

Cigarettes?

The medication I am on?

No matter how hard I try and no matter what methods I use I JUST CAN’T GET IT UP. There’s nothing on the television, the newspaper has shit and porn isn’t helping and porn has never failed to get me going on a tear.

I’ll tell right now that this post isn’t about sex at all so all you voyeuristic pervs can just back the fuck out of this one, I already expect the post / view ratio on this to pretty high and in case you’re wondering the sex is better than ever.

What I am referring to is my inability to work myself into enough of a froth to sustain a good Pit rant. I used to be a certifiable PIT WHORE but lately I can’t get much farther than mildy annoyed. I tell you, it’s that fucking Zyban. You can just call me Mr. Happy Pants cause I’ve been neutered and YES I am still smoking. A really happy smoker is what I am. Whoopdee fucking Doo!

sparks another Dunhill.

So what is a guy to do and where can I get some help because all this cheerfulness can’t be good can it?. I wonder what’s happening to all those dark thoughts and am thinking that they must be getting stored somewhere. What about that fuckwit who cut me off with the cell phone stuck to his head? What about the shit for brains government funded paper pushing goat felcher who suspended my client’s support payments for no good fucking reason? (“I assumed” is not a valid reason). A smack upside the head with a clue by four might help.

When I blow my wad it ain’t gonna be pretty. Just how long can you go without a mind blowing, utterly enjoyable, toe curling, ride in the Pit? Can anyone help me get off here? Give me something, point out some gross injustice, start another SUVs suck thread, any help would be greatly appreciated. I would be so thankful.

See! I’m being nice again. Damn it all to hell, I’m so fucked.

Hey… I feel better now. That felt pretty damn good. Maybe I can still get it up.

sparks another Dunhill

2

Wow, you type slow.

3

Am I the only person who thinks the thread topic should have started with, “I’ve fallen and…”

4

steps up to soap box…clears throat…

FATHERJOHN RULES!!!

hehehehe

-what? that didn’t do it? …well, it got me excited!

-hashiriya-

5

Ok. I’m confused here. :confused:

Are you angry because you can’t get your little man to stand at attention or because you just can’t get pissed anymore?

Just a little side note…

Always remember…
It is far better to be pissed off than to be pissed on. :smiley:

6

Feynn, if there’s anything I can do to help…(suggestive leer)

7

Your problem is those Dunhills. Try Lucky Strikes. You’ll be hopping mad in no time.

8

::sniff::
I’ll take you serious, Feynn. I’d say if you’re on Zyban, that might be it. See this link. On page 17 of the pdf (under the button marked “Important Safety Information on Zyban”, it says that decreased libido and impotence are infrequent side-effects of taking it.
Talk to your doctor. Maybe he can change the dose. Of course, if you’re taking it to quit smoking, well…not working very well, is it? :smiley:

9

BadtzMy typing speed is okay, I just smoke really fast.
JeremyYes. you are the only one.
hashiriyaBless you.
Star LightTo quote myself: “the sex is better than ever” and pissed off is the only way to go.
goboy You’ll have to fight Lola for me.
SauronAmerican cigaretttes do taste vaguely reminisent of manure don’t they?
BunnyGirlSuch a cute name. Perhaps I should have bolded the fact that this post has nothing to do with sex.

It’s a lovely day here, pretty soon I’ll be zipping off to work, dodging maniacs on the freeway with a Dunhill in my hand and a big assed grin on my face.

10

“Jack Chick”
Go look

11

Well, since you’re in Edmonton, maybe if you do some reading on King Ralph’s track record it might strike a spark. Hmm, how about looking at the past federal election results, comparing the various areas of Canada? That usually works for me. Or, maybe you’ll just have to resign yourself to the fact that it happens to every guy sooner or later, and it’s not a big deal :smiley: