Am I the only one who, while growing up, absorbed lots of cultural influences centered on “wooing” or otherwise winning the affections of a reluctant person? I’m thinking of Wayne in Wayne’s World, looking at the camera and saying “She will be mine. Oh yes, she will be mine.” I’m thinking of countless song lyrics. I was just listening to Stabbing Westward’s “What do I have to do” and “Shame” last night.
I’m also thinking of the first date I had, at eighteen (depression and a desire for asexuality rendered me a late bloomer, she was shocked) when, after I said something sweet, she said “And that deserves this… and this…” and kissed me, giving me mono. “Aha,” I thought, “say the right things and she will reward you.” To be sure, I’m a feminist, and I see no reason why this would not apply regardless of the genders/sexualities involved.
Also, am I the only one who got this message from their parents: “You don’t have to care about what anybody else thinks about you.” I wonder if that really affected me subconsciously, or perhaps I just took them literally. It sure was quite a shock to realize, over and over again, that almost nobody was “that into” me.
TV and movies and books tell us a lot of stuff. If it’s a fictional work, most of it is probably bullshit if you try to apply it to real life. Hookers don’t find awesomely respectful handsome sugar daddies just because someone filmed “Pretty Woman.” (And in the original script, she was a drug addict with a friend who was one step away from ODing. Hollywood loves bullshit happy endings, though.)
Purely metaphorical. To roughly quote a phrase I’ve seen a lot lately, “women are not vending machines that you can put kindness tokens into and expect sex to come out.” And if you find a woman like that, I’d probably run fast if I were you - more likely than not, you found a woman with poor self-esteem who’s caved in out of desperation. Not a good basis for a real relationship.
No, no no. Drop all the excuses and explanations, and just drop her a light hearted “hey, would you like to have coffee”? Or something nice, and entertaining, and fun. If she wants to go out with you again, she will. If you send her the letter, it’ll look really whiny, as if you’re begging, and that’s a huge turn off.
Then, if you DO get a second chance, show her the things you talked about in your email don’t TELL her.
Send the letter. And then wear a disguise and follow her around town. It’ll be funny. Especially if the only disguise you can get is Osama bin Laden, and hilarious results happen from misunderstandings
On the off chance the OP is actually for real, I think sending the original letter would be in the woman’s best interest. And a thoughtful gift: a beautiful red flag.
