In the vein of all the other college rants, I bring you **Mercury’s College Rant, 2004! Last Semester Edition! ** I’m young, I know nothing about the real world, and my life doth suck mightily. 
*I moved in with my (female) best friend, Faye, and a mutual friend of ours in May. We were both really excited and thought living together would be THE COOLEST THING EVAR!!!11 However, she and our third roommate go out together all the time and never invite me. I know it’s because I am always at school or working, but it stinks anyway. I never complain about that to them, do at the very least my share of housework and try to do nice things for them. Unfortunately, since I never see either one of them, we never get to discuss anything, at all.
Faye got a new computer four weeks ago, unpacked it, and left all the fucking garbage (boxes, styrofoam, etc) right outside my bedroom door. I didn’t throw it away four weeks ago because who knew if there might be something important in there, right? After four weeks, though, I decided that I was sick and tired of navigating the box maze and threw them out. Hey, I’m doing her a favour, right?
Last night I come home and she left me a note asking me if I threw them away because she needed the box to “return an item.” I left her a note stating that I had thrown them away, apologised, and asked if there was anything I can do. She left me a note this morning telling me that now she can’t return her speakers, and next time not to throw away something that isn’t mine.
Horseshit. First of all, if her speakers are broken, she can return them with or without the box. Second, if they aren’t broken, she had ample time to return them in the four motherfucking weeks that box sat in front of my door. As for my being directed, like an ill-behaved child, not to throw away things that aren’t mine: once it’s garbage, it’s garbage, honey. If you pile your shit up in front of my door and leave it there, it’s not yours anymore. If you don’t want me to throw it out, keep it in your motherfucking bedroom. Let’s review, shall we? Garbage in the hall: not yours. Garbage in your room: yours.
But she’s right,and I won’t throw out anything that’s not mine anymore. When I come home every few days and the kitchen garbage bag, full of rotting food, is sitting by the living room door like it’s waiting to be picked up for a fucking date, I’m not going to take it out. All of my garbage will go in the garbage can in my room, which I will take out when I please.
*My other (male) best friend, Matt, spent all year last year whining to me about how awful his life had become since his girlfriend dumped him. Every day. All day. Sometimes waking me up at four o’clock in the morning to do so. I was patient because I knew how bad I would feel if my boyfriend dumped me and I gave him the indulgence that I would expect from him if I were in his situation. I thought of him like a broter. However, it’s been about four weeks since the last time we spoke to each other. I have occasionally left him messages but got no reply other than that he’s really busy. I don’t fault him, because we’re all busy ('s college), but it hurts nonetheless.
*Oh, yeah, and I got dumped, too. 
It’s only worth an honourable mention in the pit, as it isn’t really anyone’s fault. People change and we are trying to work things out, but it sucks. I wish that I had someone to talk to right now, and having both Faye and Matt back out on me right now is more than a little shitty.
*Ahh, parents, can’t live with 'em, wouldn’t’a been born without 'em. We had such a great relationship, until all this college horseshit started. I didn’t wanna go to college at first. They gave me an ultimatum of get enrolled in college or get gone, and I chose college. Initially I chose it because I didn’t wanna be out on the street, but eventually I came around when I saw that it was what was best for me. Also, I decided that I wanted to be a pharmacist. The pharmacist that I worked with had gotten a BS in chemistry and then a pharmacy degree, so that is what I set out to do.
Before I started college I discussed the money aspect with my parents, and expressed my desire to pay for my tuition. They said that they did not want me to pay it, as that would make things more difficult for me (they put themselves through community college when I was young’un). I was very grateful, but I didn’t exactly take them for a ride, either. I always made money of my own to pay my bills and to pay for everything except tuition. They paid for books a few times but not always, and I have always paid my sorority dues on my own.
I took summer classes with the intention of graduating in three years. Before I transferred to this campus, I was promised by the adviser at my old campus that I would graduate in three years. Well, when I got to this campus, shit happened and I found out I couldn’t. (The campus I was coming from hadn’t offered a prerequisite I needed for a course, but advised me to schedule it anyway, as I didn’t really need the prereq. The professor didn’t feel the same way, and told me that I had no choice but to drop the class. My advisor and the rest of the department concurred.) I called my mom and explained the situation, especially that the necessary course was offered only in the fall, and that this was a death sentence for my hopes of graduating a full year early. She seemed unbothered.
I went home for winter break and the shit hit the fan. My mom told me that I was a failure, a loser and a fuck-up. She said I was a liar because I told her that I was graduating a full year early, and that she had “wasted” all that money on me. (Her main concern seemed to be that she’d paid for summer classes, and she felt that was a waste. I feel that’s irrelevant because I would have had to take those classes anyway. I only took classes that I need, I’ve never failed or repeated a class.) I overheard my dad tell my mom that I was irresponsible and reminded him of Theo in The Pilot because I could not pay my own tuition. (I guess taking care of all my rent and bills and having an A average is not responsible at all…)
Things got a little better after I went back to school. My mom convinced me to visit for a few days over the summer, and I did. While I was there, she complained about her job and said that she only has to go because I’m in school. I didn’t really know what to say to that. I tried to commiserate and told her that, hey, school is hard, too, but we’ll both have our freedom before the end of 2004. She said that it hurt her feelings that I complained about school because she was paying for it, and that if someone were sending her to school she would never complain. (IIRC, she often worked for hospitals that sent her to school but I guess she has forgotten that.) She said that I am just a complainer and it’s pathetic that I can’t see the bright side of anything (?!). I disagree that school is much harder than her job; I often spend 10+ hours in class or in the lab. I have homework, I have exams, and oh, yeah, I don’t get fucking paid. :wally
I appreciate everything that my parents have done for me. I know how lucky I am. But my feelings are still hurt, and I still feel unfairly characterised. Now, I just have to accept that while my mom loves me, she and I are both too stressed out by work and school, and way too hypersensitive to discuss it. I still feel pretty raw about it, though, and so I am trying my best to avoid them.
*Thanks to school, I barely make enough money to get by. And when I say “barely,” I mean it. When everything’s paid for the month, my bank account drops down to about a dollar. I can’t afford groceries, gas for the car, hell, I can’t even afford to ride the bus.
Well, I’m really sorry that this is so long. I just wanted to tell it to someone, and as you can see, I haven’t anyone left to tell it to. At least now I have the advantage of unbiased feedback.