I demand attention! (Obligatory new-member introduction thread) With pirate theme!

[Disclaimer: I swear I am not an attention-whore. I am just excited about finally joining after two years of lurking and thirty woefully short days of guest membership. I promise not to pull this nonsense with any kind of regularity.]

Ahoy!

I have tithed and I am now a member. I demand squid.

I humbly submit my areas of “expertise” (note the preemptorily defensive scare quotes): [ul]
[li]Being a 25-year-old white American male [/li][li]Life in the Midwest, specifically in the Kansas City area[/li][li]Reform Judaism[/li][li]English literature (B.A.)[/li][li]Stage management (B.A… Not a member of AEA)[/li][li]Carpentry. Specifically cabinet making (about a year working in a custom cabinet shop)[/li][li]Travel (I’ve done a lot of it for a fella my age)[/li][li]Life as a first-year law student (wish me luck)[/li][li]Teaching (to some extent)[/li][li]Anything I feel like making up[/ul][/li]
For those unfortunate enough to miss my brilliant first thirty days here, here are some highlights.

[In which I debate ramblingly on free will and determinism]
[In which I accuse someone of rhetorical masturbation]
[My bid to help the less fortunate]
[The first-ever GD thread cum Pit-pile-on thread to be found in CCC. In which I fight valiantly regarding English grammar, but am resoundingly overruled.]

Yarg!

Welcome!

A 25 year old Jewish carpenter who teaches and travels a lot? Man, I thought the Second Coming would be a little more exciting.

Auto, you owe me a new keyboard! Mine is full of grape juice!

Where are Sunspace and Hal Briston - this guy WANTS the goat and the squid!

Damn you Autolycus! You beat me to it.

Also, Welcome to the jungle Randy.

Yeah. And there’s more too.

I do believe he said he wanted the squid…nothing about the host or the Great Lonk. Hmm…
Quick. Someone hold him!

Welcome to our corner of the universe, Randy Seltzer!

But if he was going to show up again, what better place than The Dope?

Ooh. I love Kansas City. I grew up in St. Louis but went to college in KC. I miss it. I spent a lot of nights I’ll never remember at 39th Street and State Line.

Pleased to meet you!

Randy, are you Jewish by birth, or a convert?

Yay! Does this mean I get to avoid the squid now?

Oh, and welcome. :slight_smile:

Well, depends on how you define ‘Jewish.’

I was born into a Jewish family. But my mother converted to Reform Judaism before I was born, so by the orthodox standard, I was not technically born Jewish, and remain a goy to this day.

I am not a religious person, but I certainly buy into the culture of my religion (if it can be said that Reform Judaism has a culture). And I’ve had every opportunity to turn away from it, but have not done so.

Funny, I thought I just heard hoofbeats outside… naaah.

(Welcome to the boards, Randy! smooch)

Smooches? SMOOCHES?!?!?

Is that any way to greet a newbie? The only thing he should be smooching right now are horns, hooves, and tentacles!

…hm. that sounded…dirty…

Band name!

Heehee. The naive ones make for the best gag reels at the Doper Dinners.

:dubious: When I sighed up we didn’t get squid. Occasionly we’d be thrown a dead fish…AND WE WERE THANKFUL FOR IT.