Imagine for a moment you have an acquaintance from the gym. Not a friend, just someone you sometimes talk to. You don’t invite them over. They probably don’t even know your full name. You don’t live in the same neighborhood. They don’t know where you live.
Then, one day, you see them on your front lawn, doing you a “favor”.
I dunno about you, but I’d call the cops, because that’s fucking scary. And I’m a 250-pound man.
I’m honestly at a loss as to how anyone doesn’t get this.
It’s weird and creepy no matter the genders of those involved, but the fact that you’re a guy and she’s a gal makes it considerably worse, because an awful lot of women have some experience with stalking (15%), harassment (81%!), or rape (15%.
If you don’t get it, consider reading this twitter thread. It details the kind of interaction that women face on a disturbingly regular basis. There’s a reason that, when asked “if men didn’t exist, what would you do”, the number one answer given by women is “go outside after dark and not be afraid”.
If you can read all that and still don’t get it, do us all a favor, and just don’t interact with women. You’re not ready. You are unable to look past your own privilege, unable or unwilling to grasp the reality women live with, and your actions are going to make their lives worse. If it’s not literally part of your job, don’t do it. Don’t talk to them. Don’t make eye contact with them. Don’t ask them out on the street. Don’t (holy fucking shit DO NOT) go to their homes unasked by looking up their address in a public database. Because that’s not just creepy. That’s grounds for a restraining order, and doing it repeatedly is stalking.
Or, alternatively, don’t learn anything from any of these interactions. About 150 people have weighed in to say, “You’re being super fucking creepy”, mate. If that doesn’t raise red flags for you the problem may be colorblindness.
If I looked, really looked, I could probably find your phone number, home address, real name, date of birth, high school, et cetera. If I started a thread on this forum listing those PUBLICLY AVAILABLE details and documenting exactly how I used only information that was PUBLICLY AVAILABLE, the only forums that wouldn’t ban me for that are places like 4chan and kiwifarms, because it’s a massive invasion of privacy, incredibly fucking creepy, endangers you and your family, and is just an incredibly shitty thing to do. Even threatening to do that is a bannable offense on many forums (so let’s be clear, that’s not what I’m doing, Steve).
(Okay he’s probably not actually named Steve but the joke is funny.)
No, more like “If you’re a man who really does not understand why a woman would find the interactions described in this thread as creepy, shut up.” Because failing to see why people find this creepy shows a fundamental failure of empathy and reasoning, and a complete unwillingness to look past yourself and walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, and nobody needs more of that in their lives, especially not women.
Here, let me see if this helps. What if the guy who just randomly shows up on your property is black?
Do you get it now?
