As my title states, I didn’t have any hot passionate sex tonight. And that’s a good thing.
I just spent the last 3 hours or so with Scott, my best “friend with benefits”. In the going on 4 years or so that I’ve known him, we’ve never hung out without hooking up. He represents all that is slutty about my past. Usually after he leaves I feel cheap and used, and I vow to never do it again. And then he comes over the next time, and the cycle repeats. But this time I held strong, resisted his wandering hands, and told him it was late, and he should be going since he has to work early. I feel so good about myself, and I just had to share my good news
[sub]Of course he’ll call me tomorrow night, and we’ll end up hanging out again, and I won’t be as strong, but you know, that’s beside the point…[/sub]
And for those of you who DID get some tonight…well, good for you!
Congratulations. This is one tough lesson to learn. (My motto while I was unlearning all my horrible teenaged habits: “Until you’ve learned to say no, you can’t really say yes.” For some reason, that helped.)
Way to go, Pammipoo. Even if you do sleep with him again, at least now you know it isn’t a forgone conclusion.
::splutter:: H-h-h-how did you know? ::backs away slowly while bowing at Pammipoo::[sub]“I am not worthy of basking in the pooish presence. I am not worthy.”[/sub]
And I’d just like to add my congratulations as well.
I have a girl that has been in the “Friends With Benefits” area for about two years now, on and off, by my choice. See it we supposed to be just sex whenever one of us got “bothered” as she put it.
Time went on and she wanted to move it to girlfriend/boyfriend status and I just couldn’t see it going that way for me. I love her so much as a friend but, we’d end up hookin up like two or three times a week. And I couldn’t see her as a girlfriend type for me.
But knowing how I felt, about her. If your situation is similiar I’d end it for good if I were you. Just like that. Because while it’s not bothering him just like it wasn’t bothering me. You are either feeling cheap like you said, or if you want to go out with him your probably feeling unwanted/unloved and used.
I kinda read into that maybe to far but, If I was correct in my assumptions, really you should just end it. Or in the case of you liking him as a boyfriend don’t give in to him unless he decides to make it a dating/steady whatever kinda realtionship.
I hope I helped.
Good Luck
Just to chime in - you’re only friends with benefits if you’re actually friends who do friends things and have sex sometimes. If sex is a foregone conclusive every time you’re together … you’re f**kbuddies - a whole different thing, IMHO.
Sorry I couldn’t step in for him, but I was busy…no, that’s no good.
Oh, well then, I was tired…geez, even worse.
Next time you need a little sumpin’, tell me. I’m always willing to help.
OK, all kidding aside, I’m happy for you. You finally resisted the charms of the dread Scott. Good thing, since I was running out of tissues, y’know?
[sub]I’m almost certain to catch hell for this![/sub]
If you’re not looking for a relationship then “friends with benefits” or "fk buddies" are definitely the way to go IMO. I’ve had fk buddies before and it was just what I needed at the time. No relationship, no strings, just hot satisfying sex. There’s no rule saying you have to be in a relationship to have sex with them, you’re allowed to do it just because you’re horny. But when one person involves feelings the other doesn’t return, it’s time for the f**king to end.
If you are looking for a relationship from your FWB and he’s not, I suggest breaking all ties. It would probably be too hard to just hang out with him and not have sex with him… it seemed to be quite a challange for you last night anyways. As long as you continue to sleep with him you’re never going to get past feeling cheap/used and you’ll never feel better about the situation.
I lost an incredible friend in a similar situation and I miss him intensely to this day. I wont bother with the sordid details but I strongly agree with Nicklz’ advice. End it now and maintain your friendship if possible. If he’s genuinely a friend, he’ll be supportive. Best of luck girl… be strong!
: I’d be honoured.