How do you react when you confront someone who has done something wrong, and they respond, “I didn’t mean to!”
Minor parking lot incident this a.m. I was driving my wife to and from a medical procedure. As we left the office and approached our car, we saw that a car parked next to ours had its door open, apparently touching our car. The other driver exited their car and went to their back hatch. I looked at my car, and sure enough, there was a small scratch right where the other car’s door was touching it.
I said, “You dinged my car.”
She said, “No I didn’t.”
I said, “Yes you did, we saw it.”
She responded, “I didn’t mean to.”
Just wondering what your reaction would have been and what - if anything - you would have said at that point.
Good to hear my reaction was not out of line (at least WRT the cast of reprobates who have responded so far! :D)
I was instantly taken back to when my kids were young, and I’d say, “Whether you meant to or not, you DID it.”
I said something like that to the other driver, and she repeated that she hadn’t meant it. What struck me was her facial expression, conveying amazement that I would have said anything, or that I wouldn’t just drop it when she said she hadn’t meant to. If she’d said, “I’m so sorry!”, I WOULD have dropped it. Maybe said “Try to be more careful” or something.
It is a very little ding/chip - it will likely buff out, and our car isn’t brand new or anything fancy. So we just dropped it. But I just feel so at sea trying to interact with people …
I’m sure that we all know that getting door dings on your car in parking lots, is just part of car ownership. But when you are the party responsible, you should take responsibility for it.
For the last few cars that I’ve owned, I have had door edge trim guards installed (they even sell them through Amazon for self installation) to reduce the potential impact of me or my passengers giving other cars door dings.
No man - don’t get me wrong. Now that they are all adults, I’m pleased and impressed at how much the “lessons” I tried to impart seem to have stuck with them. “Say please and thank you.” “Look people in the eye and don’t mumble.” “Accept responsibility for what you did - even if it was an accident.”
All you can do is try to raise your kids to be decent human beings. So keep up the good fight. Repeat it a couple million more times, and there is a chance it will stick! The REST of the world - well, that’s beyond your control.
I tend to be a bit more laid back, but basically a flavor of this. Usually works into some sort of self-deprecating song and dance like, “I’ll start screaming at other people’s mistakes when I have a perfect week. In the meantime, we have a situation we need to fix.”
My first reaction when hearing this is “I’m glad you admitted liability. Makes things easier for all of us.”
I got my kid on this a few times, then she wised up. Slipped a year or so ago with a “How did you know?”, which caused me to literally laugh out loud at her realization of what she said.
I actually checked with my kids last night about this. As my son said, “It doesn’t matter if she meant to or not, she still bumped the car.”
Child development is interesting because they have to learn how judge when intentions do matter and when they don’t. Little kids can’t tell the difference but older kids have to be aware of it.
The reaction as told in the OP used to to get me angry. I suppose I felt I had to show them they were wrong. I’m mellowing a bit as I get older.
The REST of the world - well, that’s beyond your control.