I Didn't Read It, But I Need To Respond

The BBQ Pit
1

The following is not a ‘prevalent’ occurence on these boards, but it turns up enough so as to frustrate clear, leaky ichor right into my sinuses.

Giving me a headache.

“I didn’t read the thread so as to further clarify the issue, but I’m going to nail you on [INSERT KNEE JERK INSECURITY TRIGGER HERE].”

Nevermind that four posts down, someone addressed that very issue. And not two posts later, it was clarified. And six posts after that, an understanding was reached between two parties. Even apologies made and accepted.

I understand. You don’t have a lot of time to devote. You just want to read the OP, then fire away–regardless of whatever material information has been presented since because it really has nothing to do with your opinion, because that festering canker of an OP desires nothing more than to have your oh-so-sharp intellect lance it fit for an entomologist’s display, already under glass as an added bonus for all to see.

[KNOCK ON MONITOR HERE. OBSERVE GLASS.]

Sure, I understand. You have a busy schedule. Just enough time to log on, see something that pokes your possum into a frenzy, then hastily and properly eviscerate someone as the Bile of Indignation rises acerbic in your constrictin gullet.

I understand. You have things to do, mouths to feed, money to burn, and damned if you’re gonna give **one second extra ** to the guy who’s mad because [INSERT APPLICABLE ONUS FOR PERSONAL VENDETTA HERE] and obviously so very wrong. Slap him down, get others to laugh at your barbs, and get back to your life. Log on several times during the day to see who’s on your side. Form alliances in your head. Repeat. Often.

All part of the routine.

You need it this way, you see. This is your means of venting, of getting back at the day of injustice, or promises broken, or a trip to Disneyland cancelled because your kid came down with chicken pox during your only week of vacation for the year. It’s only right that you should find a suitable venue to release your pent-up aggression, and it’s only a click away.

“No no, I don’t have time to listen, but I’ll be damned if I don’t speak!”

You ease yourself into a conversation with all the finesse of an intoxicated hack ploughing his cab into a Toys for Tots fundraiser. Too troublesome to make time to weigh reponses and clarification?

Fine.

Let’s see what happens when we take out all but the first sentence of your offering and see how well you’ve articulated yourself.

That’s different? How so? If a conversation involving members of your [INSERT PERSONAL NICHE] occured in the quote real world endquote would you tune out everyone but the person who started the conversation?

If you don’t have time to read the thread, what business do you have posting to it? 'I don’t care about hearing anyone else but me–and while I’m ignoring what they say, I’ll be clever enough to gain their approval by slapping a few handy one-liners down. Yeah, the ones I took the extra time to think up. Hey, if I’d read the rest of the thread, I might not have the time to think up my stuff, right?

Right?

MMMmmmmriiiiiight.

Wonder what would happen if you actually weighed the entirety of a conversation, instead of merely your own thoughts…

What if you looked at someone and tried to grasp their experiences, instead of snap-judging them based on your own?

Yeah, of course, you do that One Hundred Percent Of The Time.

2

“If people stop talking, their brains start working.” --Ford Prefect

Not much to be done about it, though. People just chomp at the bit to say something, anything, now, now, NOW.

3

I think the only times I don’t read a whole thread is when it’s in IMHO and they’re asking you to “Post your favorite whatever”. I mean, sometimes I’m interested enough to see who likes what, but every now and then (especially when each post has, like, forty random names that I’ve never heard or something), I’ll just go right for the “Reply” button.

4

It’s me, right? You’re talking about me?

5

Well, I didn’t read the OP beyond the first two sentences, but damn, Pariah, what’s up your ass this time?

6

I have to admit SPOOFE that I’ve never seen the point of those IMHO threads for that very reason. Who reads all 40 responses? So why bother adding the 41st? It seems bizarre to me.

Incidentally - the loss of “Bo Diddly”? It’s just not right, dude.

pan

7

Yeah, well, I don’t miss it. I mean, do you go around addressing yourself - or others - by their first, middle, and last name all the time?

8

Well coincidentally enough “pan” does stand for my first, middle and last names.

(Or to put it another way, thems my initials)

On Losing a Bo

Whenever life was tedious
Whenever I felt low
I always found my solace
In knowing I’d seen a Bo

But now it has been taken
And the Bo, it is no more
Whenceforth Bo-less and suff’rin’
Diddly-squat, downcast, a bore.

pan

9

there was a classic one yesterday, in one of those 6 page pit rants, poster 2/3 of the way down on page 5, says “I haven’t read this whole thing, but why…” not noting that at the top of the same damn page they were on was that very question, and the next 6 posts addressed it.

argh.

10

That is very interesting wring, but isn’t it somewhat of a hijack from the question of the tragic loss of Bo Diddly?

:smiley:

pan

11

mea culpa kabbes :wink:

12

Yes. Well. Okay then.

But don’t do it again.

Or I shall be forced to quote anecdotal evidence of the benefits of prostitution at you.

pan

13

(had to take my kid to the doctor or would have seen this more promptly). about fell outta my chair on that one!

14

Thank you, Pariah. ALong the same lines, I just have to shake my head and laugh at the “it’s right because I say it’s right” folks.

A: “A million people attended that rally.”

B: “Really? Did anyone count?”

A: “My sources say there were a million.”

B: “What are your sources?”

A: “I don’t have the time to tell you. Take my word for it.”

B: “Well, these sources say you might be mistaken.”

A: “No no, I don’t have time to listen, but I’ll be damned if I don’t speak! A million people attended that rally!”

Sigh.

(Of course, I’m only being nice because I agree with you. If I didn’t of course, you’d be an idiot.)

15

(Well, then, I’d have to put you in your place with the fact that my sources tell me I’m an idiot anyway, so ha ha ha on you.)

But since you agree, I won’t have to play that trump card…

16

In the context of the SDMB, this qualifies as a beautiful pun, perfectly worked in. Bravo!
There are two sub-species of the “Write-Only” poster the drive me crazy:

  1. Someone makes a sarcastic post: “I gotta go drink kitten blood now.” several people say “are you jokeing?” OP responds “of course”. None of these exchanges take up more than a line or two–not huge C&P matches. Even then, someone will jump in 3 posts and 4 hours later saying “I can’t believe you would drink kitten blood! You fiend!” Skimming through JDT-style posts is almost accpetable–skipping one-liners is not.

  2. The person who digs up a thread that is weeks or even months old and tacks some little nothing on the end just to say “I was here”. You’ve all had this happen, right? A thread you loved, a thread you cherished, a thread where you woke up every morning to argue with other intelligent people and where your own eloquence suprised you, and you see that it has come back to life! Amazing! So you wait 5 min for the thing to load ( it sunk at 47 long posts, now has 48) only to find, at the end: “My mom worked with [name of some guy in the OP]. Said he was a jerk.” Why do poeple do this?

17

I didn’t have time to read any of the replies, or even the OP, but I just had to respond to the thread title…
[sub]ducks before the asshammer clobbers him

18

I didn’t read the SPOOFE hijack, but I need to respond to the OP: This is about handy, isn’t it?

19

Nah, Montfort. handy would NEVER preempt his statement by admitting he didn’t read the entire thing.

20

Speaking as Mrs. NghtCrwlr, I’m surprised you didn’t start a pit thread. Not that his remarks didn’t deserve one.

[sub]Nght, sweetie, you know I love you. It’s, just, well, some of those comments were really not well thought out.[/sub]

Robin