I do not like peas in my rice.

Or, Eve’s Misadventures in three delis at lunchtime:

Do you like green peas in rice?

I do not like them, they’re not nice.
I do not like peas in my rice.

I do not like them with Chinese
I’d rather eat rice flecked with fleas.
Please, no peas in pork-fried rice
I’d rather eat out Heidi Fleiss.

Give peas a chance in Spanish rice?
I say no once, I say no twice!
Peas do not belong in rice;
I cannot be much more precise.

I would not let them in my house.
I’d rather give them to the mouse.
I do not like them here or there,
So, deli owners, best beware!

Next time I detect peas in rice,
Out of your throat I’ll take a slice.
I’ll pick those peas out one by one
And load them in a tommygun.

I’ll shoot those peas right down your gob—
And then I’ll form a Rice Lynch Mob.
That’s how much I hate peas in rice—
Won’t change my tune for any price.

Oh, yes! I like green peas with rice,
With eggroll they go very nice.

And I will eat them with a friend,
and I’ll defend them to the end.
With mushrooms, they are quite divine,
They send a shiver down my spine.

I’ll balance them upon my fork,
and serve them up with roast of pork.
The bed of rice is oh so light,
green peas and rice? It just sounds right!

From my throat she’ll take a slice.
Should Eve find out I have this vice.
She’d curse me with a plague of lice.
If she knew I liked peas in my rice.


Well look at that, our Eve can rhyme
It seems like she could anytime
But what is it about the peas,
Well peas in rice, that gives unease?

I must admit I like the peas,
The green, green peas are quite a tease
With rice it only adds to please,
so please, oh please tell me. Why peas?

Would sweetcorn just go down a treat,
or would it end up on my feet?
Perhaps the smallest hint of ham,
Do not get mad, I’m scared, I am

I must admit I am impressed,
To rhyme like this is quite a stress
So now I’ll leave it to the rest
To laugh at me and make of jest
One hopes you just won’t let it rest,
And portray Pwecious Pwincess!

You do not like them, so you say.
But try them! Try them! And you may!

You may like peas served in your rice.
No need to give them to the mice.
You may like them in Chinese
And would never have to gobble fleas.
You may like them in Spanish rice,
And would never have to gobble Fleiss.

Try them, Eve! Try eating peas in rice.
And let me try eating, well, maybe not Heidi Fleiss cause she’s a bit skanky in my humble opinioni, but some other nice, attractive woman with a killer body and a sparkking personality (ok, oh, I don’t even care much about the personality, as long as she’s got a hot bod - you know the kind - round, high breasts without any hint of sag, a long, slim torso with good muscle tone, a deep tan, legs that go for miles, and an ass … Oh! Man, we can’t forget the ass. An ass like Jennifer Lopez. And hair, mmmm…beautiful, dark hair that smells sweet and exotic, something that I can nuzzle into and think of Italy, or Greece. And lips…I am all about kissing. And of course, since I’m going to be, well, you know, down there , she needs to take care of some grooming. I’m not asking for a completely bare area or anything, but neatly trimmed and short hair is much preferable to 70s porn star bush. Let’s see…have I left anything out? Oh, yeah…one more thing…

She’s got to like peas in her rice.

Peas in rice sounds good to me
But then, I love the humble pea
They’re so tasty, so round, so green
They make plain rice into cuisine

Peas in rice is such a treat
Only improved by adding meat
Wok it up, make it pork-fried
It makes my hunger pangs subside

Now add some sauce! Some B-B-Q!
Now stir in some beef moo shoo
This smells so good – Oh no! <irate>
I forgot – I’m trying to lose weight. :frowning:

Oh my! I like green peas with rice.
I’ll eat it once. I’ll eat it twice.

I’ll eat them in my food Chinese.
I’ll eat them in food Japanese.
Oh yes they are so very nice.
Oh how I like green peas with rice.

I will eat other peas with rice.
Blackeyed,and crowder taste so nice.
They are a very pleasant vice.
With cornbread too, to be precise.

Plnnr wants someone to eat.
With peas and rice he must have meat.
I too like that, it would be neat.
'Cept a hairy man would be my treat.

Peas in rice are good, it seems,
For artsie looks and foodie dreams;
But adding them is such a waste,
For they do nothing for the taste.


Peas under her mattress might get her upset,
But peas in her rice, shouldn’t her get,
Pun ahead, so heed my warning,
Eve, who peaed in your cornflakes this morning?

At lunchtime there was cause to grieve
Imposed upon intrepid Eve
She ventured forth from deli to deli
In search of rice to fill her belly

But in her quest she was frustrated
Increasingly more aggravated
When deli owners stiffed her pleas
To fry her rice without the peas

It wasn’t really much to ask
Pealess rice, a simple task
But still the cooks would not relent
And Eve grew much more violent

Eve cried, “I swear, by Pwincess Pwecious
I will locate me some delicious
Fried rice made without the peas
Before I’d eat them, Hell will freeze!”

And so, dear friends, take heed this lesson
With Eve’s fried rice don’t you be messin’
Just fry it up and don’t presume
To foul it with some damned legume

How you doin’?

I enjoy green peas and rice
The textures I find quite nice.
With Chinese food, I must say
Are quite tasty, any day.

Aaaah! I’ve got to stop there! It took me five minutes to come up with that… Eve, how do you do it?

My rhymes, you think, are might fine?
I get, I fear, some [url-http://www.rhymezone.com/]help online.


No more rhyming! I mean it!

She may not like pea-rice, I think
and needs two tries to post a link
but I don’t care; it gives no pause
for even Eve must have her flaws

G-rrrrrrrrrr-eat! How you doin’? :wink:

I like rice with peas,
Almonds and tomatoes.
Just don’t add meat
The way it goes:

I’m a veggie
And love that dish.
But don’t add meat
That is my wish.

I don’t want meat
To be upon it.
And if it is
Then I may vomit.

I don’t like peas in rice this day
Force them down me and they won’t stay
Much like maggots in a consume`
I’ll soon launch 'em in a fine spray

I know, I can glean it,
but “peanut” doesn’t really
rhyme with “mean it”.

Anybody want a peanut?