You think I’m joking, but I’m serious. Unless you have a medical condition that prevents it, drinking is fun and essentially harmless (as long as you don’t drive or binge, of course.) My experience is that most of the non-drinkers in college abstain mostly to show off how noble and mature they are; that is, teetotaling from snobbery. This can really get on others’ nerves. Even if you’re not like that, the trend is common enough such that others would reasonably believe it of you. So grab a beer! Don’t go overboard (but it doesn’t sound like you’re the type of person who would), just have one or two on a Saturday. Drinking not only will remove the reputation for snobbery you may have (fairly or unfairly) already received, it’ll decrease the aura of snobbery you may be projecting. It will also help you meet girls. And finally, you seem like a pretty serious guy. If I remember college, my most fruitful philosophical discussions came not in my classes but when I was 1.5 - 2 sheets to the wind. So hop off that wagon and have some fun!
I won’t say where I go to school, but trust me Daowajan, it’s worse than Beloit. I also don’t drink, and would be unable to take Cliffy’s advice even if I wanted to, because I do have a medical condition.
So I spend a lot of time online.
I realize you were looking to an alternative to the Internet, but I don’t know of a good one for you short of hightailing it up to Madison or Milwaukee.
Unless of course you want to join me in my Princess Maker addiction…
One of the enduring myths about college students is the proportion of them that drink for entertainment. Everyone always thinks that nearly all of them do, but the reality is otherwise.
Why not put up a flyer and recruit some people for a regular Saturday night poker game? Or hearts, or whatever? That’s what I was gonna suggest, and then I see other wise Dopers have suggested the same.
Also, there are other fun goofy things you could get other people together to do. Bowling. Karaoke. Road Rallies. Scavenger hunts. Darts, pool, movie nights, table tennis, board games, foosball, other stuff. Even stuff that seems “lame” can be made fun if you don’t take it too seriously. I’ve seen ideas where every frame of a bowling game has to be done a different way (granny style, hopping on one leg, etc).
You might consider approaching your Dean of Students and see if they’d be willing to cough up funding for creating a regular group/club who sought substance-free activities on Saturdays. Or paying for some board games if they don’t have them on campus.
Also…this is a little more nefarious, but we had a secret society of pranksters on campus. Every once in awhile they’d pull off something huge. Sometimes it really made people mad (like removing all the toothbrushes from the communal bathrooms and piling them up in a display) and other times it was just funny (like taping hundreds of paper footprints all over the school in bizarre paths…up onto the ceiling, into the locked president’s office, stuff like that). Cooking up crap like that and then executing it could certainly keep you and a few trusted friends busy on a few nights…
I’m sorry man. I’m Australian with Irish parents and have spent most of my time in Europe in Russia and Germany. I also work part time in an alcohol warehouse. So you might say that drinking is almost at the very core of my being. Therefore, I have to adv ise you to at least give Cliffy’s idea a go. What are your reasons for abstinence anyway?
Simple fact is, introducing the occasional drink with others into your schedule will help occupy your Saturday nights. Then you will meet people. Some of those people will be girls. You might even have sex with some of these girls. All of these things are good things and are more easily facilitated with alcohol.
Don’t be a sissy and screw up your nose and say, “But I don’t like beer, it’s icky!” We’ve been making alcohol since before we had the wheel (Aussies as well as people in general). So there is a booze out there for you. It just might be one that comes with an umbrella in it. No shame in that but for fuck’s sake… loosen up!;)c
I’m a college student that will drink but the people I hang out with are exclusive non-drinkers. We still manage to have lots of fun (when we aren’t studying).
Build a fort out of blankets…your not a little kid anymore and your mom can’t tell you “no”.
Borrow a video camera and make short videos. You’ll find that this will usually attract quite a few people who want to help you out and it can end up being lots of fun. Make a slasher movie that takes place in your dorm- you’ll be a hero. If you can get some digital editing software you can spend hours editing and the time will fly by.
A gaming group is a really good idea. That is the sort of thing that can meet weekly, can lead to more and more people joining (when we started ours we thought we were the only geeks intersted…word got around and pretty soon we had almost too many people coming every week to game). Board games are also fun, and if you play them in a common room chances are that others will come and join ya. I’d say my friends and I get together for one role-playing game and at least one board game (usually Settlers of Catan, sometimes a homemade game of our own design, sometimes we just play mafia or poker) a week. I won’t even get in to the computer games (Worms is an awesome game for dorms…great interaction between people).
If you are more of a loner look in to any number of artistic pursuits. Painting, writing and music can all make great hobbys and might even lead you somewhere some day.
Teach yourself new things. Learn to program in new computer languages. Learn to speak Spanish. Learn to knit. Learn to cook. Do photography. Heck, sometimes I just sit around and do attional research for my classes…going beyond what they teach us so that I can really get my money’s worth of education. College librarys are great resources and imagine how much you would learn if you did something new every weekend.
Others mentioned getting a job. I think that could be very possible. I know that usually campus radio stations need on air and board people for the weekends. Once again, usually, they will train you. Also campus security needs people on weekends. If you don’t want to become a campus cammando, they very often need weekend dispatchers.
If you like sports, contact the sports desks of the campus or community newspapers. They always need stringers to go to local games and report on them.
Finally, and this is probably what I would do if I were in your situation, get a job as a bartender. Bar owners are always looking for non-drinking bartenders. Pretty good pay, you meet a lot of members of the opposite sex and you get to reinforce your opinion about obnoxious drunks.
That was right before you went on to say that people who don’t drink all come across as snobs, right? Maybe if there were fewer people with that attitude then poor Daowajan wouldn’t be forced to choose between risking his health and spending his weekends alone.
In all seriousness, Dao, I know exactly what you’re going through. I too attended a small semi-suburban college located one hour north of Boston, but, because we weren’t allowed to have cars until junior year, interesting civilization of any sort could’ve been a million miles away. There was nothing to do in town unless you drank, which was fine until MA raised the drinking age. At that point, I couldn’t have cared less – been there, done that kind of thing.
My college was very good in providing day/evening “field trips” to different places on weekends, either to Boston or Cambridge or up to L.L.Bean on occasion. We also had quite a lot of on-campus events like film series, visiting bands, theatrical productions, readings, and the like. I didn’t participate in all of these, but at least the option was there if I suddenly was sick of studying.
What do other students in your (or similar) situation do? You can’t be the only one. Ask around. Start chit-chatting with someone in one of your classes and/or dorm. I know, it’s scary to make the first move in friendship especially if you’re shy, but it sure beats loneliness. A lot of Dopers have already suggested ideas that you like – the only thing to do is go for it!
Well, yes it did occur but then you never actually indicated that you did have such a problem. There aren’t that many conditions that require complete abstinence that I know of. Especially not at your age. Hepatitis? Some sort of kidney disease? Rather not say? You still haven’t actually come out and stated that you do have such a condition which I think is odd.
Sorry for being so nosy but I’m also at university and see other people who are obviously isolated and lonely and bored. It just seems sad and a waste of what should be the most fun years of your life. I aplogise for any offence I’ve given but I wonder how much of your trouble is self imposed.o
Why do you have to drink to hang out with people who do?
Really, people aren’t going to shun you just because you don’t drink. Just be honest, tell them you have a medical problem and they’ll be fine with it. Then say, “But I know how to make a mean margarita, want one?” People will love you!
Before you say I’m insane, I couldn’t drink once because of a medical condition (I was pregnant), but I still went out with friends who DID drink. I still partied, just with virgin drinks. Plus I was a built in designated driver, the perfect party accesory.
Go out! Go to parties, don’t drink and have some fun!
… and my solution was juggling. I would practice in a semi-public spot where people would walk by. I got REALLY good at my skills, and picked up a few female passersby.
I think larger schools are generally less specialized, to tell you the truth. I know that at the U of M, if you wanted to switch from English to mechanical engineering to veterinary science, you could. You might get boggled by too many choices! However, IMHO, you are wasting time and money if your school truly is not a good fit for you, especially if it is a private school.
Is it truly “snobbery” to be a non-drinker when you are under 21 (in the US)? There is a big difference to me between drinking in a bar and going to a “kegger” populated by binge-drinkers. Then again, IANFW (I am not from Wisconsin).
Hold on, you (obviously) already KNOW about the boards, but you need more input? You have time left over after…
Hang on, I’m still trying to get this.
All right, there’s the SDMB, and then -
You fall asleep, right? Isn’t that how it works? Sorry, I’m having a little trouble here…
[sub]*He’s got a computer and a username, but he wants… Man, is this, like, one of those quantum things? Why do they have to make it all so confusing? …
I didn’t say it was right, I said it was true. Although, in my experience, most of the non-drinkers (including myself at first) were in fact doing so out of snobbery.
I’ll have to attempt to make some friends.