I don't give a FUCK if your car is "For Sale"

[Contrapuntal]

@Crotalus

Have you read through this mess? Hardly mellow, certainly off-the-wall.

That, by the way, is an excellent example of him fleeing when challenged. His rationalizations for not taking the bet define mealy-mouthed.

[Dunderman]

@Polycarp

unless he’s gaming us, which would be uncharacteristic of him in the past.

You’re kidding?

[Skywatcher]

@SmartAleq

There could be a reasonable explanation for this trainwreck!

drmark logged in as Aeschines?

[Guinastasia]

Why is this thread still open?

[duffer]

@Guinastasia

Why is this thread still open?

You’re not exactly helping. :dubious:

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

@duffer

You’re not exactly helping. :dubious:

Yeh, well, look who’s typing!

[Harborwolf]

@Guinastasia

Why is this thread still open?

Why should it be closed?

[Aeschines]

O ye foolish, O ye abased!

Surely you have heard the myth of Procrustes:

In Greek mythology, Procrustes (the stretcher), also known as Damastes (subduer) and Polypemon (harming much), was a bandit from Attica. He had his stronghold in the hills outside Eleusis. There, he had an iron bed into which he invited every passerby to lie down. If the guest proved too tall, he would amputate the excess length; if the victim was found too short, he was then stretched out on the rack until he fit. Nobody would ever fit in the bed because it was secretly adjustable: Procrustes would stretch or shrink it upon sizing his victims from afar. Procrustes continued his reign of terror until he was captured by Theseus, who “fitted” Procrustes to his own bed and cut off his head and feet (since Theseus was a stout fellow, the bed had been set on the short position). Killing Procrustes was the last adventure of Theseus on his journey from Troezen to Athens.

Derived meanings

A Procrustean bed is an arbitrary standard to which exact conformity is forced.

On the SDMB, we have the Cecrustean Bed (Cecil + Procrustes). Any post or series of posts that a) does not kiss the ass of the self-styled elite here and b) is not immediately intelligible to that same elite and their toadies will be forced post haste into one of the following categories:

1. Meltdown/flameout
2. Insanity/failure to take medication
3. High-intensity drug use
4. Trolling

My posts are none of these, but if it makes you comfortable thus to categorize them–as apparently it does–then I suppose there’s no stopping you from doing so.

But you ignorant. You are foolish. You are the oyster that would spit out the pearl-building grain of sand. You are the mob both of myth and reality.

There have been many who would not let your ignorance and pettiness and mob mentality stand. They have been the victims of your autos de fe, the ultimate source of your joy: Banning. The purification of the tribe. Their names include, but are not limited to, Reverend Mykeru, Snakespirit, drmark200, mswas.

Fighting ignorance? To an extent. Abetting ignorance? To an extent. Representing how ugly and destructive the sociology of an anonymous board must always be? You bet.

[Harborwolf]

You spent all day writing that?

[Linty_Fresh]

In Greek mythology, Procrustes (the stretcher), also known as Damastes (subduer) and Polypemon (harming much), was a bandit from Attica. He had his stronghold in the hills outside Eleusis. There, he had an iron bed into which he invited every passerby to lie down. If the guest proved too tall, he would amputate the excess length; if the victim was found too short, he was then stretched out on the rack until he fit. Nobody would ever fit in the bed because it was secretly adjustable: Procrustes would stretch or shrink it upon sizing his victims from afar.

It’s a little known fact that Procrustes was not actually trying to do anyone any harm. He thought the bed was supposed to work that way, because the operator’s manual proved to be one of Aeschines’s half-assed translations from the original Japanese.

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

@Aeschines

But you ignorant.

You not brightest bulb on neon sign yourself.

[Aeschines]

@Linty Fresh

He thought the bed was supposed to work that way, because the operator’s manual proved to be one of Aeschines’s half-assed translations from the original Japanese.

Actually, I don’t translate instruction manuals. I translate Japanese into ad copy, press releases, and other promotional materials used around the world.

[Miller]

@Polycarp

Naah. Aeschines has been a relatively mellow arguer for admittedly off-the-wall viewpoints in the past. This appears to be either an extended meltdown or some sort of serious problem surfacing – unless he’s gaming us, which would be uncharacteristic of him in the past.

You’re joking, right? Aeschines? Mellow? The guy’s just about the most arrogant, rage-choked asshole on the entire board. Calling Aeschines “mellow” is like calling the Sahara desert “damp.”

[Harborwolf]

Is it me, or are we running late on this one. Normally Aeschines rails against the board elite and mourns the loss of his kindred spirits on page three or four.

Gotta love him though. He hates hates hates hates the board and all of the cliqueish snobs on it but he keeps on paying the dues.

[Linty_Fresh]

@Aeschines

Actually, I don’t translate instruction manuals. I translate Japanese into ad copy, press releases, and other promotional materials used around the world.

I think I might have read some of your stuff.

"If you drink the Soy Milk, you will receive the many smilingly feelings and have happy happy intercourse. If you don’t, you’re a fucking moron.

Soy Milk. Not for fucking morons who not wish to have happy happy intercourse."

[Seven]

@Aeschines

1. Meltdown/flameout
2. Insanity/failure to take medication
3. High-intensity drug use
4. Trolling

5. Twat

[Aeschines]

@Linty Fresh

Soy Milk. Not for fucking morons who not wish to have happy happy intercourse."

Ah yes, a very successful campaign.

[duffer]

@Aeschines

Actually, I don’t translate instruction manuals. I translate Japanese into ad copy, press releases, and other promotional materials used around the world.

Hmmm…

Remember in the early to mid '80’s when it just didn’t seem possible for the US to keep up with Japan?

Now we know why the Japanese economy took a relative turn for the worse.

[Aeschines]

@duffer

Hmmm…

Why are you even here, duffer? You and I are not enemies, nor are you like the others.

You are their despised wretch, their laughing stock! You have no purpose in this mob.

I will not ask you to join me, as I must stand alone, but I may and do ask you to stand apart from this vulgar rabble. Be your own man! Proclaim your independence!

[Aeschines]

@Miller

The guy’s just about the most arrogant, rage-choked asshole on the entire board.

Calumny. Lies!

I’m not arrogant. I merely stand independently for truth and against the base groupthink of these boards. Indeed, to the false elite here, independence equals = arrogance.

Like duffer, Miller, you have the power to think for yourself. Yet you choose not to act for yourself. What a waste.