I don't know what I'm going to do

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
61

Since Trump is now an unavoidable part of our lives, you may as well share your husbands win with him. You don’t have to be jubilant, just observant rather than critical. So far, the stock market is booming. and nothing has crashed in anticipation of the Trump regime. Trump is not worth a marriage.

Two books that deal with autocracy are “Hitler’s Empire” and “The Economics of World War II”. I got both used from Alibris. They provide details that undermine popular arguments. The titles alone may fend off debate better than “The War of 1812”.

62

I’m … underwhelmed.

But maybe that’s just me :wink:

But I think you did just demonstrate the rationale for the late spate of Harris commercials that were premised on “what happens in the voting booth stays in the voting booth.”

63

Yeah, but:

64

You mentioned church and Bible study group. I take it he (and you?) are rather devout or generally believers?

From the outside looking in, I feel like you’re telling me about someone who has spent a lifetime being told there’s a god, and a reason, and a purpose for everything, and he’s never stopped to question or challenge it. If it’s scary or complicated, he finds ways to put the responsibility on “others” in an abstract “they are in control” way, and finds stories and narratives that allow him to not have to face the hard topics. It comes back to the fear, too, but reinforced by a social and religious lifetime of messaging.

This is difficult to express without sounding like I’m trying to bash or tear down your faith, or his. I do think, however, that it’s important to balance faith with facts, and surrendering critical thought or facing difficult subjects to “a higher power, some type of purpose, not my problem” can be quite damaging. Faith and belief have value, but there is a point where unquestioning belief in completely irrational things can lead to harmful thoughts, behaviors, and actions. This might be something your religious community can help you and him navigate.

These things bring him comfort, but at what cost?

I sincerely hope you find a comfortable place in your relationship. This is just abstract interesting musing for me, as it doesn’t affect me.

65

Hoo boy!

My advice? Keep quiet, and just wait.

And you won’t have to wait very long.

When Arnold Schwarzenegger ran for Governor of California, family members bitched and moaned about his Democratic challenger, Cruz Bustamante. Mr VOW listened to the jabbering of the “crazy” LA radio station, and parroted a lot of their garbage to me. He made a BIG ASS fuss that Bustamante would end up annexing Mexico to the State, and it would be renamed "Mexifornia. I called bullshit on that.

The Governator said he would bring in the best accountants in the country, to go over the budget and remove all the “waste spending blah blah blah.”

There wasn’t any to find.

Shortly before the Governator was elected, California caused an uproar by raising the vehicle registration cost. As soon as Arnie sat at The Big Desk, he canceled that.

Just before he left office, the registration fees were restored to the greater rate.

When Obama ran for President the first time, family members were ready to barricade the White House. “Supposedly,” Obama was either going to remove assault weapons from American homes, OR he would require all AMMUNITION to be registered. You couldn’t find a bullet for sale for months.

I tried, oh how I tried to explain to my gun-owning family members, that neither of the two scenarios were possible. Period. And I said if they really thought about that, they’d realize registering ammunition was CRAZY. As in, physically impossible.

We all know now that those two events never happened.

Here’s the deal with Trump:

The man apparently never took a Civics class. He hasn’t a clue about the three branches of government, or about the “checks and balances” built in to the Constitution.

He talks about suspending the Constitution, but that’s crazy-cakes alongside the idea of registering ammunition. Let’s be honest. The President does not have the all-powerful ability to wave his magic wand (or his microphone) and make stuff magically appear or disappear.

Remember his wall? The Son was absolutely crushed when the cement trucks didn’t start rolling to the Southern border between the US and Mexico the day after Trump’s first Inauguration. I tried to explain that the engineering of the wall would take more than four years to complete! There are too many laws, too many codes, too many rules that must be followed, and even the President of the United States couldn’t ignore them.

Just wait.

Trump will still have the ability to make a lot of people unhappy, and to do a lot of damage. But much of his bullshit cannot happen.

I am also convinced he is exhibiting signs of dementia. He truly cannot speak a coherent, complete sentence. He fellated a microphone on national TV. And his 30-minute dialog praising Arnold Palmer’s genitalia was not the behavior of a rational, lucid person.

So, just wait.

~VOW

66

mnemosyne, I think you’re onto something, though you didn’t quite open the right drawer.

Mr. Rilch’s family were not churchgoers. He was brought up on Science and Reason and Facts. I think he felt a lack, though, like not having had a confirmation or mitzvah. “I would have liked to have that flying-up ceremony, proof that I was no longer a child.” He never owned a Bible until earlier this year.

I, on the other hand, was brought up in a kind of new-age Protestantism. Reading the Good Book, discussing the Good Book, arguing about the Good Book. And inevitably, twisting the Good Book to justify unholy behavior. Because we moved a lot, it was a way to meet people right off the bat. But if we stayed in one place/church long enough, eventually the rock would get tipped over and the bugs come scurrying out. Sexual misconduct, mishandling of funds, anti-Semitism/racism/homophobia. If that didn’t happen before we moved again, we figured we’d gotten out just in time*. There were always positives, but I learned early not to go all-in on any group too soon (or at all), and that the Bible is wiiiiiiide open to interpretation, so much that it’s pretty much worthless for justifying any action.

And the current Bible study is something we got invited to because of me! :innocent: Political campaign last spring, I tagged along to some events. Got to talking with some people about a Bible story the candidate was going to reference in his speech. I knew it, and I also knew he was about to make an error in recounting it. “Hey, you live near us…would you and Mr. Rilch be interested in joining…?” See, it’s not so much that I’m devout, but as a kid, I had a beautifully illustrated and annotated children’s Bible, and in college, I spent a semester reading the Bible as literature. And I do have fond memories of Bible school and fellowship. So this is something I’m comfortable with, and Mr. Rilch is enjoying it quite a bit.

So my point? I think Mr. Rilch didn’t like what he was getting from Facts and Reason and Logic. I think in order for it to make sense, he needed to turn to some higher power. Or, in the case of InfoWars and the like, someone who assured him he was in on a big secret that only enlightened people like himself could understand. He hasn’t been let down and learned to move on, as I have.

So where do I go from there? I’unno, but I have some time to think about it.

*Around the turn of the millennium, when my parents moved for the last time, mom announced that she was going to have to give up organized religion. Of the two churches she could have attended, one did gay-to-straight conversion, and the other had a disturbing number of congregants who belonged to some extremist group, NWO or whatever.

67

Please please tell me he didn’t buy the Trump Bible.

Which brings me to economics, how much actual $$ has he sunk into his obsession. Donations, Ordering stuff off InfoWars, Trump merch? That giant sign on the barn couldn’t have been cheap.
BTW, that barn is half yours. You should have fought that. At least for your half. Take the “T” leave him the “rump”.
Seriously count the dollars.

When you buy that junk from InfoWars your helping that cause. Anything they sell can be gotten much cheaper.

68

No, it’s a King James. I didn’t know there was a Trump Bible. :face_with_open_eyes_and_hand_over_mouth: But yeah, he’s spent a goodly amount on that kind of thing. The banner, he got when we were on vacation. There was a storefront that was all Trump/right-wing merch, and Mr. Rilch felt bad for the guy because the place had been vandalized. Why didn’t I resist? Well, for one thing, at the time, I thought there was still a chance, and he could be the one to look foolish after the election. As I said upthread, I draw the line at putdowns of people I support and things I believe in.

VOW, that’s what I’ve been telling myself: the wall never happened. But Roe v. Wade did get overturned. I think what it comes down to is, this really was the popular vote. This is what people, not just one person here and there, want. Which adds to my feeling of having nowhere to turn. But yeah, the world’s not ending right here and now.

(I’ve been working my way through “What do we do now?!” threads here and elsewhere. I don’t expect to find a magic solution, but it’s helpful to know I’m not the only one.)

69

The reason Roe v Wade and other crap happened is because WE were complacent and hoped it would all go the right way.

Because we allowed BIL in the house with MAGA hat.
We let a daughter bring around a Trump nut BF into the house.
Or we allowed loved ones around unvaccinated and unmasked during the pandemic.
Because we allowed marital monies to buy crap that helped these corrupt politicians win and radical hate mongering groups to spread their word further.

We sat by and let our loved ones believe, w/o severe consequences, the lies they were told on Fox News and InfoWars.

I’d have pitched a cat fit if my husband dared to put a Trump sign on anything we jointly owned.

I can’t believe you haven’t heard of the Trump Bible. It’s King James too. He sells it all over TV and at Rallys.
It’s been talked about incessantly on the news. And comedy shows.

I do feel for you, Girl you got to get your husband some help. The koolaid is in his brain. He needs an intervention.

70

Remember, there were plenty voting the other way (not 50% but close). You are not alone (although perhaps where you live you might be a small minority…dunno about that).

71

She is equal in her marriage. No one else voting in that.

She has equal say in what goes on the barn and where money is spent.
If she wants it.

Now, I am fully aware there are women who can’t or don’t speak up and fight back.
Don’t want an argument in the house.
Just not their personality.
I happen to be a quiet mouse. Still there are things I won’t allow.

But, some times you gotta say something, anything.
She lives with this man.
This is her home.

And you he’s ill.

72

I agree with you.

They’ve been together a long time.

I think walking away from that is a big decision and not lightly taken. We have some obligation (I think) to our partner and get through the tough times.

There is a line somewhere where it is too much. I am not sure where that is. It’s not easy to point to and different for everyone.

73

The sad truth is that, in many cases, life sucks. This is, fortunately, not a specific situation that I’m in though, depending on how your husband’s beliefs manifest themselves, you may have to make some difficult decisions.

74

I would get him some help.

I really would. Talk to a doctor, the rest of the family.
His children.

I think in a few years this is gonna be considered a diagnosable mental illness. Especially if there are violent incidents that increase due to Trumpism cult behavior.
And society, at large is in danger.
If she can’t get him help. Then make difficult decisions.