The thing I don’t get about Mr. Rilch’s mindset is does he believe liberals want to deny him treatment and kill him? If Mr. Rilch thinks that then I’d say Mr. Rilch has turned a corner. Libs want him dead in his mind. That can’t be a healthy mindset to live with.
I am no expert though. I’d suggest you seek some counseling. Alone or together. Since you have been together so long I think there is value in working to save the relationship but it’s up to you.
I think it is safe to say there is no magic hocus-pocus to whatever InfoWars is selling. Science is still science. If it worked for you two fine but there was nothing special about it. If InfoWars invented some cure then it’d be studied and spread around the world and Alex Jones would make a gazillion dollars doing so and be hailed a hero.
Yeah, riding Alex Jones’ cray cray train is a bad sign.
There’s no reason to deny yourself vitamins and supplements. I happen to be on a few. Difference is mine are prescribed and I get them at my pharmacy. With a small co-pay. (Ask your Doc, they’ll prescribe all you want)
No way I’d buy that crap off InfoWars.
You’re just peeing most of it down the toilet.
Ummm, yeah, Vitamin C, bomb or not, will not cure pneumonia. Neither kind.
No, it’s bloody well not. He’s also unvaccinated, and believes that thousands of people are being killed by the vaccine. Sometimes he reminds me of Ginsburg on Mad Men. I don’t think he’s going to maim himself, but if I met him for the first time now, I’d never want to arrange a second meeting.
I’ve been in counseling for a while now. Mr. Rilch refused to do couples’ counseling, so I went alone. I was supposed to have a session on Tuesday, in fact, but it was rescheduled on account of the therapist being ill. I’ll sure have a lot to talk about next week.
NellieBly (love your username!), I guess it’s that I dread watching the nation go down the tubes while listening to Mr. Rilch insist that it’s everyone’s fault except Trump’s.
Beck, he didn’t claim the Vitamin C cured the pneumonia, just that it gave him the strength not to let it kill him. The pneumonia lasted four or five days afterwards, but he’s convinced that that day would otherwise have been his last on earth.
Well, it didn’t. I believe biotin helps my hair and skin. But it really doesn’t. It has B-Complex which I have to take for dialysis anyway, so I swallow the pill. Saves having another injection each week.
I don’t know what you’re gonna do, either.
I know this, you don’t seem to have a handle on it or have any sway with him.
Hence, feeling like you need counseling and Bible study(either are ok, not saying they’re not) to cope with the man you live with and his behavior, what he believes.
You got some thinking to do on this.
(I would not live in a house with an unvaccinated person)
ISTM you are working your way to ending the relationship and seeking a few nudges to get you there. I get that…you have been together a long time and it is not something easily cast aside (nor should it be).
I’ve been in this position (less time in the relationship though). I get it.
I think maybe a good, long and hard talk with Mr. Rilch is in order before any final decisions are made. Again, as always, this is up to you and assumes you’ll be safe doing so. Breaking up with someone is a notoriously dangerous moment for women. It seems Mr. Rilch is not violent but be careful anyway…this is a supercharged emotional moment for both of you.
To be clear, I am not a professional counselor…just some random dude on the internet. Important to keep that in mind. Since you see a counselor best to discuss it with them.
Honestly, I hope you work it out. A relationship that long is worth saving if possible but I get it might not be possible.
After thinking about it, no, not quite. I look at more like he’s developed dementia. Or schizophrenia, or Lewy body syndrome: something he can’t help. He doesn’t intend to have, or be, a problem, but here we are. And I don’t want to abandon him. I’m going to talk to my therapist about how to cope.
(Wouldn’t it be great if there were support groups for people having a hard time with spouses, parents, people close to them who are Trumpers?)
Your descriptions of him in recent posts make him seem afraid. Like he’s got a profound fear of losing property, of death, of illness, of not being in control, and he’s listening to people who are using that fear to manipulate him.
His fears may be based on reason (hurricane damage, property fire and subsequent struggle, a virus you can’t see just wiping people off the earth, a vaccine you can’t see fighting back are all confusing and overwhelming things) but they’ve taken control of his mindset and leading to destructive behaviors. A therapist would ask him about those concerns, and it’s easier to deny them with talking points than it is to address them and handle them. It would be uncomfortable, so therefore it’s something to avoid. Likewise if it is a manifestation of mental illness; getting treatment means admitting something is wrong.
Maybe I’m wrong, I can only go by my own interpretation of what you’ve written which is of course heavily biased by my own world view. I don’t really have any suggestions for you, other than perhaps taking an approach of validating that the fear is real, but the conclusions he’s reaching aren’t? Is that something he’d be open to?
The rift between you, however large it is, will likely take both of you to fix.
Fear is exactly what the propaganda pushes. Scared people are trivial to manipulate.
The brave tough rugged individualists are terrified cowards. Because they’ve been taught to be so by the propaganda they listen to. Like sugar-coated medicine, the obvious external message is one is being a strong independent crisis-ready leader. While the actual drug inside that coating is fear-filled follower putty in the hands of the propagandists.
mnenosyne and LSLGuy, you’ve both made me feel better. Yes, I think he is afraid. The fire did shake us both up quite a bit, but it hit him harder because reasons. We’ve never been the victims of a natural disaster, hurricane or otherwise*, but I think watching others deal with disasters has been getting to him, starting with Katrina. And the mass shootings, and of course, the pandemic. Your posts have given me something to keep in mind the next time he says, “Why are you reading about the War of 1812?! Read this book, that tells us how horrific the next five years are gonna be!” I can’t change his mind for him, but it helps to know what he’s (probably) really saying.
Beck, I don’t think he has dementia. He’s only 55, and it doesn’t seem to run in his family. But I’m trying to react as I would if he did have it. He can’t help it, so I won’t get angry or aggravated.
Anyway, I feel better getting this out. As you might guess, there’s no one around here I can be open with about this. Except my therapist, but we’ve got a lot of other stuff to talk about. And I don’t want to bring non-local friends into it. So thank you for making me feel not so despairing.
He might. One thing that does seem to appease him is if I read the article or watch the video. He’s more accepting of my saying “Oh, c’mon…” in that case, since I’ve given it a chance and not just said, “No – Trumper cooties!”
*We lived in Los Angeles for a little over twenty years, and were never in a serious earthquake. Once a glass thingamajig fell off a shelf and broke; end of.
And, do know you’re not alone.
It seems a bunch of folks are having similar issues.
My baby daughter started dating a rabid Trumper.
Knowing how I raised her I made a tiny joke about it. He was not even present at the time.
She got so mad at me. It took over a year for her to speak to me.
I grieved and grieved. I was so distraught about it.
She’s back visiting and talking to us. I still have to be careful what I say directly to her, about political stuff. It’s my own fear she’ll not come back. I shouldn’t have to. But I do. She’s my baby.
She is vaccinated.(Nurse) I can’t be around anyone who isn’t.
He’s right. You should be reading The Rise And Fall Of The Third Reich.
I agree that fear is a big motivator. IMO, people who voted for Trump are exceptionally fearful, and they cover it up by being aggressive. It’s hard to convince people there’s nothing in the dark. (Which brings to mind the closing narration from a Twilight Zone episode: ‘There was an old woman who lived in a room. And, like all of us, was frightened of the dark. But who discovered in a minute last fragment of her life that there was nothing in the dark that wasn’t there when the lights were on. Object lesson for the more frightened amongst us in or out, of the Twilight Zone.’)
Don’t think I haven’t thought about it. But I tried reading that brick when I was in college, and life is too short.
You’ve reminded me, though, that Mr. Rilch and I were and are huge fans of Harry Turtledove’s Great War series. Or Southern Victory, TL-191, whatever. Point is, I can’t believe Mr. Rilch can’t see the parallel between DJT and Jake Featherston. I can sure see it. But he’s willfully closing his eyes, and his mind.
I am glad he’s not openly contemptuous of you. But what you’re describing still sounds a long way from showing you respect and compassion. Is that how it feels to you? Do you feel that your emotions, and your beliefs, are treated with respect?
If so, I’m misreading your posts. If not, that’s a pretty major problem in a marriage.
I read it in the '90s. I found it very interesting and informative. Last week I received the 50th Anniversary edition. Seems thicker.
FWIW, it too me three tries before I could finish Dune.
I haven’t read it/them, but I get what you mean. To me, the similarities/parallels between Trump, and Mussolini and Hitler are blindingly obvious. But Trump supports can’t see them. A case in point:
‘Germany is for Germans and Germans only’ - Adolf Hitler, 1934
A Trump Cultist friend said those quotes are completely different. I asked her how, and she posted a non sequitur meme. I asked her again what the difference is. She said she’d already told me. I kept asking until she stopped replying to that post.
Still, you might be able to take Mr. Rilch by the hand and point out the similarities between Trump and Jake Featherston (and Mussolini, and Hitler) and then ask him to point out the differences.
Well, that’s a funny thing. He was somewhat involved in the campaigns for governor and for the senate. Both his candidates won. The night of the election, he told me that he wouldn’t have stood in the way of my campaigning for Harris, or even for an opponent of one of his candidates. He’d have had more sympathy for me if I’d put my money/time/effort where my mouth was, as he had.
So it’s not a lack of respect for my views. More like exasperation that I don’t see things the way he does. And when it comes to countering his arguments, like “Nobody’s eating dogs in Ohio, jeez,” I haven’t spent enough time researching the debunking as he’s spent on the rumor, so I don’t sound correct to him.
(Well, except when we get into pro-life vs. pro-choice. I’ve got a pretty solid argument there, so we mostly agree to disagree.)
He didn’t think they caused it. He thought they might be watching, and had let it happen for some greater good. Because that meant there was a purpose, and that make it easier to accept.
You’ve been with him for a long time. When you compare him today to how he was last year, you may not see a big difference in his mental health, but when you compare today to 15 or 20 years ago, how does he seem? I’m not talking about maturity; I’m talking about the–I’ll say it–paranoia, fear that’s taken a wrong turn.
He doesn’t strike me as someone who’s very self-aware or who has a very high emotional IQ. That’s OK, but it does make it unlikely he’ll examine his own beliefs and mental state. I can see how to a person like that, therapy, which is ALL self-exploration, would seem like a painful, frustrating experience, kind of like taking calculus classes in Greek would be for me. But this also leaves you as the only one keeping tabs on his mental health, like the mild paranoia, and because you HAVE been with him for so long, I can imagine how hard it is to be objective.
It also sounds emotionally exhausting. I’m so sorry.