New here so totally outsider’s viewpoint FWIW on why she might have backed out. You mentioned that she was the only thing you had to look forward to and maybe that pressure is scaring her. One person cannot be responsible for another person’s happiness, particularly not in a marriage.
Seems to me you should continue to establish your “base” and find meaningful work and outside interests right where you are. If you make yourself the best, happiest person you can be then you won’t have to ask her to come back, she’ll be tracking you down!
Good for you to take the risk to love someone, some of us are too afraid and we miss out. Sorry you are going through this.
[QUOTE=Johnny L.AI don’t fall in love easily. For it to happen again, I’ll have to be ‘tamed’ like the snake in The Little Prince.[/QUOTE]
Sorry. I meant the fox.
I never told her that. I don’t think I even implied it to her. We talked about other dreams.
Nobody’s ever a jerk for loving someone.
I’m sorry you’ve been hit with this on top of everything else. Don’t make any rash decisions. Just be for a while… then, when things are clearer, that’s the time to think about moving on. You need time to grieve this situation and the future you though you had. Also, just because that future has gone, it doesn’t mean you don’t have an excellent future ahead of you, just a different one from the one you thought you had - I’m living proof of that.
Hang in there, as well as you can.
Crap.
I’m afraid I don’t have any words of wisdom, or anything, but…crap. I am so, so sorry. 
Whatever way this whole thing goes, I hope you come out OK. Hang in there.
::Jester hat on::
About the Foreign Legion…technically, you could still join up. But you’d have to learn French and have a 10% chance of dying in combat. On the plus side, you get French citizenship, and a nice white hat.
::Jester hat off::
