-Trying to sell our used cars. We haven’t got more than the trade in value the last 2 times
-opening my mouth at dinner table…I never get to finish the sentence
-I’ll think of some more
Sometimes I don’t know why I bother helping to heal sick and injured animals when I know that I will be sending them right back to an abusive/neglectful home. I guess it is those few happy endings I get every now and again that keeps me going.
Telling my bosslady I could actually do a better job if she gave me an appropriate amount of time to do it in.
ordering fast food at a drive-thru they never get it right.
buying real houseplants when they always die from lack of sunlight
I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature!
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trying to be kind to people who shit on my head
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straightening this mop of curly hair just to curl it again
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stopping to help someone with a flat tire when they dont even have the courtesy to say thank you
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trying to convince Moosie I’m an angel when she never believes me
Ahh well… tomorrow Friday, the last 1/2 day of the work week wooohooo.
We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another
Posting to Great Debates or General Questions.
I swear, one of these days, someone will say to me, “Hey, John, good point! Can’t argue with that!”, and I will immediately drop dead of a heart attack.
Of course, I keep posting, and keep hoping that someone will say that I’m smart or insightful, or at least technically correct. I guess I’m just suicidal.
JMCJ
Curmudgeon Of The Day Winner, 1/19/00
As Selected by RTFirefly
You know, posting stuff like this ain’t helping your case one bit. 
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge…others just gargle.
with people who can’t grow old gracefully
with people who pretend to be something they aren’t…and they actually think people believe them
with housework, it just gets dirty again
telling my son he needs to stop running the mileage up on his car
men who are boring
“Do or do not, there is no try” - Yoda
“Hey, John, good point! Can’t argue with that!”
(of course i just cut and pasted that.I have no Idea about Great debates anymore)
Urk! Ack!.. thud
… with trying to use UBB in my posts. I’m trying to create a “professional” look, but mostly I screw up and it looks about as bad as AlTeRnAtInG cApS.
BTW, John, if you can quit flirting with the ICU nurse, I agreed with you over in GQ!!
That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.
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trying to do something with my hair. It always looks exactly the same, no matter what.
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making resolutions to get up a half hour earlier each morning. I just bat the snooze button anyway.
(Note: one where persistence did pay off! I found a nifty program that smacked AOL into submission; it kills spam and that infernal disconnection problem.)
Veb
-clicking people’s profile button.So many of them have no info anyway.Hey, Pluto is a Kottke fan! Good going.
-I eat my words.
-opening my e mail. I’m waiting for a reply on an interview I wrote up for a magazine.No reply.
going the extra mile to fix a customer’s problem. They almost never say thank you, never give me credit for fixing what they screwed up, and treat me like I’m a panhandler bugging them for money instead of an intelligent technician with a clue.
The lovely woman-child Kaa was mercilessly chained to the cruel post of the warrior-chief Beast, with his barbarous tribe now stacking wood at her nubile feet, when the strong, clear voice of the poetic and heroic Handsomas roared, “Flick your Bic, crisp that chick, and you’ll feel my steel through your last meal.”
-Explaining things to people, when they don’t care about the reasoning and don’t bother listen.
-Trying to ‘make things work’.
-Attempting to forget…
“Let me fall out of the window with confetti in my hair…”
Tom Waits
- trying to tell people that John Fahey is possibly the greatest musician of the late 20th century.
Hey! Pluto’s a Kottke fan? Maybe HE’LL listen to me.
(AT one point in his career, Fahey was a record producer. He discovered Kottke…when he played the demo for the other guys in the office they said “Of course you like him, John, he sounds just like you!”)
Uke
I don’t know why I bother,either . . . I really don’t . . .
…Setting my alarm clock, i just sleep through it.
. . . writing.
I’m such a perfectionist that I delete everything I write, but I just can’t stop writing. I have nothing to show for it, but I can’t quit. It’s enough to drive a person crazy.
– Sylence
I don’t have an evil side. Just a really, really apathetic one.
Trying to grow out my hair; it’s so absurdly fine that it always looks terrible and I have to cut it all off again anyway.
Turning on the radio. It never gets any better.
Brushing the cat. It makes no difference at all; she still sheds like six cats.
Catrandom
…trying to talk to my ex-husband calmly and rationally. I would have more success reasoning with a palm tree than I do with this moron.
Shadowfox
“We are what we pretend to be.”
- Kurt Vonnegut