Nope, I was referring to the situation where both the participants are on the bed (e.g.), and the female party is situated sort of at a 90 degree angle of the male party, thus placing her buttocks in my immediate proximity for further groping and stroking.
plnnr
Absolutely correct. Communication is a problem for many couples, and lack of it can make sex messy.
But people, my OP was less “What can I do to enjoy sex more?” than it was “I have accepted something about my sexual personality, and now I’m going to inflict the information on all of you because I can.” In fact, all the “pointers” people have been giving are appreciated, but I’m not interested in making fellatio my favorite sexual act, I just wanted to know if more folks wanted to get on board and explode the blowjob myth.
So shouts to Edward the Head, AHunter3, and Badtz Maru for keeping with the spirit of the OP. Maybe I should clarify that the sensation of being blown itself is simply not nearly as appealing to me as the sensation of intercourse or several other things I can think of. The mouth is not as nice and warm as the vagina. When a woman just loves to go down, that’s one thing, but too often it’s a situation where she just wants to play the vixen and she ends up trying too hard, sucking too hard, and then the whole teeth issue makes it one big exercise in self-control.
And I can’t believe none of you vanilla whitebread Protestant schoolmarms have ever tried Golfcourse sex!!!
Well, I’m a non-practising Catholic with atheist tendencies. Maybe it’s what I call curling sex?
Well, I’m sure I haven’t tried it, but I am guessing it has something to do with filling all the holes, eh?
Yikes! The OP shook my world! Not so much because I like to receive bj’s (though I do), but because I like to give, too. And the idea that this isn’t a universal male hotbutton is kind of off-putting now…
I always imagined that all of my potential bedpartners were going to appreciate my skills to the maximum potential of pleasure. Now, I don’t know…and the idea that perhaps the previous recipients didn’t all enjoy it that much is depressing also.
Wow…there are guys who don’t like blow jobs…
blink**blink
jayjay (stunned)
Snore. If it’s me, don’t bother. Thanks.
I like blowjobs, but maybe not as much as other guys. The orgasms I have during fellatio are usually quite intense, but they can take a while. I usually insist on moving on to more mutual activities, before completion. Blowjob to completion is a very nice occasional thing.
Hmm. For some reason, I find it impossible to feel shamed by my failure to comprehend the oh-so-hip slang, if that’s what it is.
Now, you’ve not asked for any advice or suggestions, but you have indicated that women do still make efforts to please you in this way that you seem to find so objectionable. This leads me to suspect that there are communications issues. Why do you encourage partners to try, knowing that they will not please you? So, blowjobs aren’t your thing. Are you relating this to your partners, or just to the Teeming Millions?
I’d just like to poke my head in here and suggest that if the women giving blowjobs are working so furiously that they’re going NUMB in the process, you may not be getting a good blowjob.
It’s a technique, a process. It takes time and variety. She shouldn’t be clamping on like a fucking vacuum hose.
And I would also like to second Coldfire’s suggestion. Very often, I like to position myself so that my hoo ha is available for fiddlin’ on.
jarbaby
[[Why do you encourage partners to try, knowing that they will not please you?]]
You don’t have to “encourage” someone to do something that is generally accepted by everyone to be the be-all, end-all activity that males want beyond anything else. Some women do it because they really enjoy performing oral sex, and others do it because they just assume that’s what all guys really want. I think the OP was just suggesting that this is not true of All Males. He also did not say he didn’t enjoy it - just that it isn’t the thing he desires above all else. Many men assume that’s what all women mainly want too - receiving oral sex - and that’s not the case either.
Applaud.
JillGat,
These things I understand. Lucky for me, the only encouragement that most folks ever need is an indication of openness and standing want.
Of course, you’re quite right in that the OP did not state that he didn’t enjoy it. However, taking the time and energy to “explode the blowjob myth” indicates a pretty strong stance with regard to a very specific act. So, I don’t think my suggestion that he finds the act or aspects of it to be objectionable was completely out of line. But only cuautemhoc would know.
Ahhh…dime store pony.
I’ve received oral sex from women who are willing to perform it and from woman who love to perform it.
I only enjoy the latter.
As for the orgasm, the same thing applies. Some of the womem enjoyed it so much, it was easy. Those who are “going through the motions” can do so for hours without me reaching orgasm.
You just haven’t ever had a blow-job from my wife.
Nor will you.
I agree with the a few of the above posters. There are blow-jobs, and then there are blow-jobs. Sometimes, just sometimes, a man is blessed with a partner that makes porn-stars look like a nun licking a popsicle. I never feel alone. I never feel I have to DO something with my hands. And when I cum, it’s because she wants me to, not because I have a choice.
[Paul Hogan hat on] Me wife and me penis? Them’s mates! wink[/Paul Hogan hat off]
-Tcat
I have no idea how I missed this thread, but I just wanted to say that I am in complete agreement with the OP; I know from where you’re coming (figuratively speaking), for sure.
I don’t enjoy them in the least. I’ve told this to virtually every female I’ve been intimate with or had any intimate conversation with, and every one - every one - has boasted, “You just haven’t had ME yet!” Then I’ve had the luck to convince some of them to prove it, and I wind up sitting/standing/laying there, bored and not all that excited. Yes, it’s possible they’re not doing it right, but I think it’s just that I can’t stand not doing something and being in control, and oral just ain’t the way to fly. Does this make me a freak? No, other things do. 
Which is not to say I don’t love to provide oral to a female…
cuautemhoc pantomimes reeling in a big fish
The golfcourse thing was a troll, Tymp, nothing more. It happens that I have had sex on a golfcourse, but it was missionary. And it was dark out. And there was no nipple play. To speak of.
Anyhow, see JillGat’s post for an example of someone who understood the OP perfectly. “Exploding the Blowjob Myth” refers to deconstruction of stereotypes. It’s common parlance in gender studies, but I’m sorry if it gave you a mental picture of sexually uninhibited women with TNT strapped to their backs.
Communication, folks, involves both talking and listening. My ideal lover would be a woman who didn’t bring all kinds of preconceived notions of what sex should be into the bedroom, but would just let things happen and concentrate on the individual partner, as I would try to do.
Yes, it is a technique and a process. But to me “clamping on like a fucking vacuum hose” is part of that technique. It is like they say, don’t let the name fool you. It’s about sucking not blowing.
It’s PART of it, but you shouldn’t be doing that exclusively to the point of tiring your lips and jaw. You should be stroking and licking and teasing and all that.
I think the thing is, you’ve got to find a gal who digs it. Like DMC said, if she’s just willing to do it, it’s going to be bad. If she loves doing it and gains pleasure from doing it, it’s going to be good.
Don’t make me come out there and give you a blow job to prove it. 
jarbaby
I can’t believe this. The whole “I get them all the time, but I don’t really enjoy them” thing is mind boggling. To me, it is akin to the “I have too many girls” problem, i.e. it’s not really a problem.
I only wish I had your “problem”, cuautemhoc. I absolutely love them, but haven’t had one in a really long time.
I agree that it is most enjoyable when the woman is herself enjoying it, too. If you’re heart is not in it, we’ll notice. It works the same way with guys - if we go down on you and aren’t really into it, I think you probably can tell, too.
Heembo
PS - Jarbaby, you are a devil!