Actually I just eat them plain. Sans ketchup, sans mustard, sans salt or vinegar or mayonaise. What? Am I weird?
You, sir, are the Devil.
Ah, you sad Europeans. Once again, you guys manage to come up with the germ of a great idea, but fail to follow through on the execution. For, you see, the next logical step from mayonnaise as a french fry topping is:
Tartar sauce.
Now don’t get me wrong; mayonnaise tastes quite OK on french fries, and it makes a passable substitute when you’re in a pinch and can’t get ahold of any tartar sauce. But it’s like the difference between an 8-track and a CD, a Yugo and a Maserati, a Thomas Kinkade and a Claude Monet. For, you see, when applied to french fries, tartar sauce takes the base, oily flavor of mayonnaise and softens it, while refining its flavor and taking the whole thing to new, uncharted highs that quite fairly make the angels sing in heaven.
There is, quite simply, no finer topping for a piping hot, freshly cooked french fry than a good dollop of fine tartar sauce.
Just thought I’d mention that I can always get the entire cup thingy filled on one complete pump. And I prefer dipping. And also prefer the little cups to those damned plastic packets that never rip the same way twice. Little cups are classier, and class is something that should be encouraged in a fast food experience.
You can probably ask for packages, though. Certainly if the place has a drive through it would have to have packaged ketchup.
friedo posts his food complaint with this p.s.
This annoys the minimum wage lackeys to no end, but I don’t care, because they’re being paid to serve me.
–You are treading thin water, friedo.
In a May 23 article in the Wall Street Journal, “Spit Happens: Cops Are Wary Of Fast Food,” you will see what happens to people with attitude who order food at places that hire minimum wage workers who also have an attitude.
Crud. Change the term “thin water” to “thin ice.”
to dip them in ranch dressing althouhg thats basically mayo
although i dont like like french fries unless there flavored coated ie burger kings fries or the curly fries that are seasoned
and i put bbq sauce on them
Now heres one thing that i get crap is the bbq chicken pizza that i love …
also i found a easy way to start a fight is ask 5 people whats the correct topping on an pizza
heh would that count for a great debate ?
The ketchup and other sauce pumps are actually cleaned out pretty frequently at my store, but it’s a fluke. The old lady who comes in at night to wash our dishes has a really irratating habit of sticking the entire sauce container in the dishwasher, sauce and all. The pump on that thing isn’t airtight, so by the time they come out, the sauce inside is half watery soupy ick, and half sauce. We have to throw it out, and start over form scratch. We’ve told her repeatedly to stop, but she just doesn’t learn. She’s a classic though. One day last week we had the metal tray holding the little white cups back there to be washed, and I noticed she’d thrown out all the unused cups rather than setting them aside until after she cleaned them. I told her for next time she dien’t have to throw them out, and then walked away. 10 minutes later or so, I walked back to the sink to find her fishing the cups out of the garbage can and putting them back in the tray. Eww. I threw them out again, but it really makes me wonder what I’ve eaten that’s been rescued from the trash at some point.
We’ve also recently caught her throwing away the plastic spatulas when they’re too dirty for her to wash. We have this ham and cheese promotion going right now, and the melted cheese is a bitch to get off. At last count, we’ve rescued 6 spatulas from the trashcan, soaked them in hot water overnight, and sanitized them in the morning. At least that explains where all our utensils were going…
Well then, make that two devils out there. I like my potatoes to taste like potatoes, not some foul tomato-sugar concoction. Feh!
Cheese, however, is a welcome addition anytime.
–sublight.
Chips and gravy, chips and gravy, chips and gravy. It just doesn’t get better than that. Thick chunky chips swimming in onion gravy. Chip heaven.
Chips.
I’m with Coldie. Mayo really is the only way to go.
Us Euros have to stick together you know.
pan
Yeah, but you forgot to mention one thing, Coldfire. About thirteen years ago (at about the time I moved to Germany from the US,) the Belgians passed a law to the effect that the fat used to fry the french fries had to be changed at least once a year. Said law was passed over the megaton protests of the people running the french fry stands - they argued that the old oil was what gave the fries their unique, delicious, flavor.
BTW:
I made several trips to Belgium during that period, doing work for the US Air Force, and I thought the fries were pretty good. Of course, this was just after the law was passed so maybe they had all changed the oil for the first time in (choose one) years, decades, centuries.
The thought of mayonaise on fries still makes me shudder, even after thirteen years here in Germany, where they also put mayo on the fries - not to mention sugar on the popcorn. And no, those are not onion rings that you get at the french fry stand. They are SQUID rings. With mayo. AAAARRRGGGGGHHHHH!
Ah ha! But that is why I always ask for my hermetically sealed ketchup packets after I have the bag and soda in hand, thus guaranteeing my food remains unmolested.
I sure do. You are saying that Belgians are Philistines.
Mayonnaise is a completely unacceptable condiment for French fries. You may as well douse them in motor oil. How disgusting. No decent person would willingly put mayonnaise on French fries.
There are four acceptable way in which French fries may be eaten.
- With a lot of salt and vinegar.
- With ketchup, with or without S&V.
- With mustard, but not too much.
- With gravy alone, or gravy and cheese curds (poutine.)
Anything else is the work of Nazis, Communists, or devil worshippers.
I like the little dipping cups, although I prefer mine filled with shrimp cocktail sauce. Gives a bite to that rich tomatoey-sugary goodness. Yum!
And FWIW, mayonnaise mixed with ketchup is Kraft French dressing. Yuk!
Robin
Mayo is evil. Evil. Period. Ick, it’s bad enough on hamburgers (of which I’m not fond of), but FRIES?! Sadists!
Tartar sauce? Huh. Never tried the stuff. More than likely another horror, though.
Melted cheese is acceptable when combined with ketchup, but alone it’s heresy.
Salt is OK. But if the amount of salt I choose to sprinkle defrosts even two square inches of road, it’s gone. I want tang, not wholesale lost-in-the-desert-for-days thirst.
begin scary, semi-religious raving
WORSHIP THE KETCHUP!
That’s right. Ketchup will save your souls! You must dip - there isn’t enough when it’s covered! And the more, the better! WORSHIP THE KETCHUP!
end scary, semi-religious raving
I actually haven’t tried a fair amount of these fry toppings. BBQ sauce sounds interesting - I like the stuff, but not in the quantities that I down fries. Melted cheese is actually good on fries, but I find that too much overrides the salt. I’ve never tried tartar sauce in any way. :o I already stated my feelings on salt.
Ketchup is the ultimate topping. I have no idea why. It just is. And, ideally, about half of the fry should be completely covered by ketchup, as salt compliments the spicy-ish ketchup taste.
shudder Mayo is an abomination. It is pure evil. I have nothing else to say. Eating fries drowned in mayo… Pure torture! shudders again
You, Fran, are my new hero. These fools, with their “fries” and their “catsup”, know nothing. The almighty chip shall set us free!!
[Billy Bob Thornton]Ah like mah fried puhtaters…[/BBT]
I was in the new American Airlines Center (of course is should be Centre) on Saturday. On the main concourse near the concession stands they have carts where you can dress up your hot dog or hamburger. The carts have beer style taps for both the catsup and mustard.
Poutine…the BEST way to eat fries! With real poutine gravy - the one from St. Hubert is best - and real, WHITE curd cheese. None of this silly Ontarian obsession with orange cheese, and NOT, NOT, NOTcheddar! Especially not shredded marble cheddar!
BBQ sauce is great too. If I don’t get that, I just bypass the ketchup and overload on salt. My bf is convinced I’ll end up with medical problems due to my salt-on-french-fries intake.
Just to add a little bit of fact: I grew up about 40 mins away from Drummondville, Québec, the birthplace of poutine 
My bf is from there.