I don't need your warning and it is getting on my nerves. Stop it!

The BBQ Pit
1

I refer to the message board practice (it is certainly not confined to the Dope) of “apologizing” in the thread title by warning us that the OP is “(LONG!)” “(loooooong)” “(warning: long!)”

First of all, I have yet to open such a thread and find that the OP is in fact, unusually, remarkably, or annoyingly long. Generally it’s about 5-10 paragraphs, which is a perfectly normal and reasonable length. Unusually lengthy posts are almost never identified as such.

Second, however long it may be, we are all perfectly capable of determining for ourselves that any given OP, once we look at it or start reading it, is in fact, just too damn long too bother with.

Third, we who read the Straight Dope are here to read. I suspect hardly anyone comes here to NOT read, so the length of any given post is really not the point. In fact, chances are that reading any thread will involve reading many responses, which will make it longer than any OP you can come up with. And yet, we open threads all the time, ready and willing to cope with all this writing.

Fourth, it could be The OP That Ate Chicago, but if it is * interesting, * it doesn’t matter. In fact, the longer the better! Are we not here to be entertained?

Fifth, maybe you fear that it’s really boring. Well, go ahead and put that in the thread title then, that I might find helpful. (Warning: thunderingly dull!)
Sixth and final… this practice comes off as very, well, kinda pathetic and insecure. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but it’s true. You look like you are apologizing for contributing, when the board cannot exist without contributions. It is OKAY for you to write a long OP if you want to. You aren’t taking up too much room in the world, you aren’t intruding on anybody’s space, you are not some lesser member of the SDMB that doesn’t have the same rights as Fenris or December or any number of other Dopers that have been known to write more than a paragraph for an OP. If people don’t like your “long” OP they have every right to not read it. STOP FUCKING APOLOGIZING FOR IT. Think of it as an exercise in self-confidence. “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and gosh darn it, I can write a fucking novel if I want to!”

(And iampunha, don’t feel picked on, yours just happened to be the latest in a long line of such thread titles)

Thanks.

Stoid

2

Could you please warn us next time, when your OP is so long?
[sub]Somebody had to say it.[/sub] :slight_smile:

3

Boring, too.

4

A six-point rant over a single word?

Your concerns are noted, but I will continue posting as I please.

5

However, the TMI or grotesque violence warnings are much appreciated.

Gotta know what to open first. :smiley:

6

Hi Stoid! :wink:

7

Well, hey, I’d like to see “short” warnings in thread titles, like where the thread title is something like, “To the moron who cut me off in traffic” and then the OP is something brilliant like, “Fuck you”. Brevity may be the soul of wit, but after I’ve sat there and sat there and SAT there, waiting for the server to chug through its fourteen chapters of Proust before it gets around to actually giving me a thread to look at, I wanna see something a bit more complex by way of a Pit rant than “Fuck you”.

If the thread title had said, “To the moron who cut me off in traffic (Warning: short)”, then I’d have known not to bother.

8

I agree with the OP, on all six points. Especially point six. Don’t diss the thread before I’ve even had a chance to read it! It’s depressing.

On the flip side, while we’re complaining about thread titles, let me add that there’s a limit to how misleading you should make your thread title in order to interest people in reading your thread. A clever turn of phrase is appreciated. Flat out lies are not. If you title your thread “boning my dog”, you’d better have some hot dog-boning action explicitly described, not just some asine story of feeding your pooch some Milkbones. Otherwise, I end up sitting here, rapidly deflating dick in hand, cursing your deception. And that’s just not right.

9

I didn’t think it was that much of a problem to warrant a pit-thread, but ymmv.

10

So! No more apologizing because you feel your OP is too long, and no more apologizing because you made a typo.

11

And don’t apologize for your double post.
::tries not to double post this::

12

I.

13

Oh! And no more apologizing because you *miscoded.

14

No more apologizing for possibly posting to the wrong forum either!

15

And no apologies for apologizing!

Sorry. Sorry again.

16

*blink

blink

blink*

Wow, just when you think you know somebody.

17

What?

Oh, sure, I’m the weirdo here. Like none of you ever masturbate while reading lurid online accounts of owners screwing their pets and whipping yourself with a leash. Yeah, I’m the only one. I’m the sicko. Sure thing, pal.

WhatEVER.

18

Dare I ask, whats the story behind your username?

:stuck_out_tongue:

19

Let’s just say I’m not allowed back at the San Diego Zoo.

20

Good. Let’s all stop apologizing for everything!

Except you, Giraffe. I think you owe us all an apology, you sick bastard!