How do you know?
The OP is pure strain spergposting. He even admits to having Asperger’s in my quote.
I misread what he wrote as “It could be that I have Asperger’s”. Apologies.
Was in the alien phase from about the age of 15 to at least the age of 25. In the early years I was basically invisible, Sister a grade behind me out shown me in the complicated world of teenagers. I was a good student but didn’t have many friends. To boys, I was invisible… that younger Sister getting all the attention. I wasn’t unattractive but lacked the all important social skills for, well, a social life.
Academically flunked my one semester of college but passed with almost flying colors the social skills part.
Back to work when I came home from college and found a family at work. Was susceptible to alpha type people for a few years but eventually found my way and formed my own opinions and beliefs. (The alpha was not happy.)
Moved on, found new people that thought like I did but they were a minority where I lived but we were a happy bunch of misfits.
Met the husband. He was also a misfit. We make a great pair. Been married almost 27 years.
He joined the navy and everywhere we turned the married folk had kids or about to. We didn’t have kids, didn’t think about having kids, for a while it was if we do we do kid of thing. At 35 it became a too late to have kids thing. We had other plans for when we were in out 50’s than dealing with kids and college.
The kids of friends and relatives are great, we can hand them back when we want to.
We both have a few friends but rarely socialize with them. When we are home from work we tend to be home for the day. We’d rather spend time together whether we do anything together or not.
We like books and movies and traveling and food. Hubby is a great cook, good housekeeper too since I never managed to learn house-wifey things.
I love my job. It’s seasonal and 30 to 40 hours a week. Couldn’t support myself on what I make but it’s mad money for us to do extra things we want. And my job allows me to exorcise a bit of OCD I have for straightening thing.
I have a sense of humor that more often than not is off. Hubby says I speak in non-sequiturs.
We occasionally contemplate becoming hermits somewhere in the middle of nowhere to get away from … political news and the occasional family member or drama that drives us crazy.
I’m just over 50 and still feel like an alien every now and then.
Protoboard, in the grand scheme of things, nobody really cares whether you do one thing or another. It sounds like you are self-conscious because you don’t like things you yourself label as ‘normal’. There are a lot of people on this messageboard who like to trip over themselves to brag about how not ‘normal’ they are. Maybe you’ve felt a little out of the loop because you don’t keep up with broadcast TV shows; there will be a thread in IMHO with people out-doing each other on how much they dont know about some mainstream subject, something I always find ironic about a messboard dedicated to fighting ignorance.
Its fun to feel persecuted because you don’t want kids, don’t believe in god, like cats or collect coins. The way I see it you have two options:
1.) Become a well-liked member of this messageboard, where people will be in awe as you share how hard it is to interact with the ‘Normals’ in society, complain about how you are just trying to read your [super obscure nonmainstream author]'s latest limited-run print book while you are getting hassled by dog-and-football wielding evangelists, and discuss various methods of wiping one’s butt (standing or sitting? paper bunched or folded?). All the while taking pride in how ‘different’ you are, feeling unashamed and smug in somehow rising above all the Sheeple and Normies in society.
2.) Become a person that is confident in liking obscure stuff like coin collecting, yet open minded and curious enough to get to know other people and learn how to not just interact but take interest in people whose own lives and passions are different than you. I know this involves the dreaded act of ‘change’, but its a big world out there, and by being open to new things you discover a lot of stuff that is more interesting than at a mere glance. Best of all, you learn to build connections with people who aren’t simply carbon copies of yourself.
Its always great to meet someone in your life that shares all your interests and passions, but in my own personal case I actually derive more enjoyment from interacting with people very different than myself. I get exposed to people, hobbies, cultures, and stories I never would have known had I just stayed in my spergy little ‘bubble’ of video games on Steam or Warhammer 40k.
I think you’d be surprised to find that your feeling on this is extremely common.
The problem is, there is no easy way to attain financial independence and security without working hard. If everyone was offered your “permanent financial security plus bonus travel money with no hard work requirement” plan before choosing a career, there would be plenty of takers.
In short, a lot of people work hard precisely because they would like to not worry about being broke all the time, and even then it isn’t always enough.
protoboard, one thing you will find as you move through your twenties, is that there are lots of people who are also not into those things. But, it’s hard to see those people because a) the ‘mainstream’ (not bad, just mainstream) path is to get a job, get a spouse, get the kids, and get a house, and b) your peers (mid 20s) are generally in the place in life where they try transitioning into that life model.
But, not all of them will stick with it, and a lot of those will come out on the other end with happy lives that don’t involve any of those things above. And, you may find you do end up liking/wanting some of those things. You’re in an age of transition.
That said, the thing about feeling like an alien . . . it’s all your fault (hear me out!). By focusing on the differences you see between yourself and others, you build the walls between you. Make an effort to find similarities and explore them, and the differences will melt away, or at least kind of shuffle off into the corner, and you can feel like you’re the same species as them.
I totally get you, protoboard. I’m 34, and in many ways feel alienated from a lot of my peers, though progressively less so in the last year or so. I have no kids, no property, and have struggled with maintaining an interest in “career,” even though I’ve been lucky enough to get paid (a small amount) to do one of the things I love and am pretty good at. Whenever I’m feeling like an “outsider,” I like to look at the people I interact with in the world and think about how they each are making choices to find happiness, just like me. We may not like the same things, but we are looking for the same feelings, the same emotions. Keeping that in mind helps me connect with others in a way that is impossible if I focus on “why the heck do they find baseball so interesting?” or, “won’t she shut up about her kids!?”
(anyway, it’s a bit of a late-night ramble, but my point is that the things that you feel are significant differences between you and everyone else are not really significant after all; they’re just the low-level manifestations of people’s quest for happiness.)
That’s not counting commuting of course, which often means 4-10 hours a week of what’s essentially unpaid work in many cases. Plus working much longer than 30 hours a week just wears you out again especially if you have a grueling commute. My psyche is not capable of dealing with working long hours every weekday and I don’t feel like I owe anyone such a duty.
If you live a no-frills lifestyle it’s very easy to work for close to min wage and get to take a nice vacation once or twice a year. It’s not a pipedream. People just think it is because most of them seem to believe they “need” an 89" TV, a $60,000 car and a $400,000 house. 
Working 25 hours a week at min wage in my state I’d bring home about $10K a year after taxes. $830 a month is definitely enough to survive on and even save a bit especially if you have other supplementary income.
So your plan is to live at home with your parents for the rest of their lives?
protoboard, when I was in my 20s, I felt like you. I believed I could be content with the most minimal lifestyle. I’ve never been a very materialistic person, and I am not a big pleasure-seeker either. I was also a highly anxious person at that time, and I decided early on that if stress was the price I had to pay to earn money, it just wasn’t worth it.
But as I got older and got a “real job” (which I had to…not having any other choice), I realized that I’m not as immune to consumerism as I thought.
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I didn’t like people talking shit about my shitty clothes. Yes, my shitty clothes reflected my eccentric indifference to social convention. But I didn’t like hearing shit all the time. So I started shopping at “better” thrift stores and then graduated to Target and Macy’s.
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I felt weird hearing about everyone else’s vacations, but never taking any of my own. It wasn’t so much that I wanted to have my own stories to tell, but I did want to be able to say that I too have been to California, and that I’ve seen a Broadway show on Broadway, and that I am planning on going to Sedona this year. I’ve never had a solo vacation that I’ve regretted. But traveling takes lots of money.
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I used to drive a beater. I was fine with my beater, even if it also made me a bit embarrassed to be seen driving in it. But I was sick of it constantly breaking down on the side of the road. So I had to get an upgrade. Upgrading costs money. And you can’t leave this planet without upgrading something.
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My body started breaking down once I hit my 30s. Neurological stuff that I was able to cope with in my 20s came out in full force when I turned 30. This was followed by serious psychiatric issues. Getting proper treatment = $$$. This, in addition to a decayed tooth (expensive extraction), a cracked tooth (expensive root canal and crown), and severe gum disease (shit load of money). Since I have a low threshold for pain, I have to work long hours so I can avoid it.
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I discovered pleasures. I love sushi and being able to go out to eat whenever I want. I love yoga. I love being able to hop in my car and drive where I want. I love high-quality walking shoes. I love my laptop and my Kindle. I didn’t love anything when I was in my 20s because I just hadn’t experienced enough (and I was dysthymic and didn’t know it) But now that I have, these “loves” have become critical to my existence.
You are going to change. You will likely meet a woman who is just like you in a lot of ways, but she’s not going to put up with everything about you. Like, she’s not going to like taking the bus everywhere. She’s not going to want to visit you at your parents house forever She’s going to want to do “stuff”. She’s going to want you to get a “nice” haircut when she takes you around her parents. And you’re going to want to accommodate her just so she’ll stay with you. Accommodation = $$$$$. And THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS.
I wouldn’t define who you are based on what you are like in this moment. I’m a different person from who I was when I was 24 (I’m 36 now).
I can’t tell if you’re prone to black and white thinking or if you’re just really inexperienced. That $400,000 house you don’t need comes with a $2,600 / month mortgage, after you put $80,000 cash down when you buy it. The $60,000 car, if you finance it for 4 years, costs another $1,300 per month.
These aren’t things the average person who works 40-60 hours a week can afford anyway. I don’t think you need to worry about whether or not you want them. Luckily, there’s a nice middle ground for reasonable people in between owning really expensive things and living in poverty, if they’re willing to work a little.
Expensive things aren’t expensive for the sake of making poor people feel bad.
Luxury items are on the hierarchy of need too. If you want to live your life with an incomplete pyramid, go right on ahead. Know that you have much more company at the bottom than you would at the top. I’m willing to bet there are a lot more people who work part-time minimum wage than there are billionaires.
I don’t have much in common with most people either.
Just wanted to point out how awesome monstro’s post is. Things do indeed change as you age; it sounds like you’re living a considered lifestyle, where you don’t just do things because everyone else is doing them, and that’s great. At some point, you might think about it and realize that you are tired of hearing your neighbours all the time and decide you would indeed like to buy your own house. Or not. You can make your life any way you want it to be. You’ve got all the time in the world to figure it what you want, what you like, what you don’t want, what you need, all of that stuff.
I’ve always driven used cars, and it doesn’t bother me; however, we bought a brand-new 2012 Mustang a couple of years ago, and I have to admit, I like driving around in the new hotness. And our next car will probably be a used one again. 
Basically if you like getting laid, and you want to get laid pretty regularly, then start shaping up like provider guy: Provider guy will always get laid.
If regular sex isn’t so importat to you then carry on doing your thing, plenty of batchelors in that position. And happy, too.
When I was your age, I had a similar revelation. I looked up at all the shiny buildings, the fancy cars, and the nice clothes and through “Shoot! I’d gladly trade half this stuff to have more time to enjoy life. All I want to do is travel, anyway.”
I put my money where my mouth was. I joined Peace Corps, made $100 a month, lived in a mud house and ate beans, and travelled to exotic locales whenever I could. It was GREAT. I liked it so much that I signed up for another two years. Aside from the good I hope I did, it was the most fun I ever had.
And somewhere in that process, I realized that work could be meaningful and fulfilling. And that sitting in a nice chair in an air conditioned office wasn’t the worst thing in the world. And I discovered that the rat race doesn’t have to be totally serious. You can be a part of it while still having fun with, knowing all the stuff is meaningless, but you gotta do something with your time. I also learned I wanted a family, and that changes everything. Frankly, my little mailings and desires don’t count for much now. It’s not about me.
Maybe you’d have a similar shift, maybe you wouldn’t. Some of my friends from Peace Corps are still happily wandering, living the good life as itinerant English teachers or overseas consultants.
My point, I guess, is that I’d you want to live a different kind of life, DO IT. Don’t sit around complaining and navel gazing. I can think of a few ways to achieve your goals. If you don’t mind living in Asia, you can easily make a comfortable life for a single person teaching maybe 15 hours a week and traveling on breaks. There a million ways to live on this planet, so if you have some special lifestyle you want, figure out how to make it work and go for it.
You know there’s a hell of a lot of us who feel the same way, right? I don’t give a crap about those things either.
Why are you convinced that everyone has to be Stepford clones to be “normal”? You sound a lot like me, except I spend virtually no time thinking about whether I’m “normal” and all my time just being who I am. I also cultivate relationships with like-minded artists and ‘weirdos.’ There are thousands of us just in the micro-communities I’m personally involved with.
And I doggedly pursue my interests, which have nothing to do with the day job I do for money, btw. There’s more than one way to live, and more than one way to define yourself. You’re not REQUIRED to watch football just because someone else likes it.
Unless they’re in charge of the remote control. 
I feel like a cheeseburger. Or maybe a nice BLAT.