NOOOOT THICK ENOUGH!!!
Dog: “What’s that say? I can’t read! Please, please give me what’s in the bag. Chewy, yummy, smoky BACON. Num num num num num.”
Human: “No, it’s (something) bacon strips. Dogs don’t know it’s not bacon.”
Dog: “It’s bacon!”
This one I’ve never heard outside of Chicago:
“588-2300 Empiiiiiiiiiire!”
“The meatball spaghetti you can eat with a spoon!
UH-OH! Spaghetti-O’s!”
[sub]God, I saw that in black and white, just now, in my head…![/sub]
“The best part of waking up
is Folger’s in your cup”
(I loved Rockapella’s rendition of that. Possibly one of my favorite commercials ever)
Oh, dear, I guess I’ll just have to show my age:
I’d like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
I’d like to buy the world a Coke
And keep it company
(It’s the Real Thing)
Have a pow-pow-powerful
good-good feeling
with Cheer-Cheer-Cheer-i-ooooo-ohs!
(Repeat: Powerful good feeling - Cheerios!)
We love baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet!
Hershey is…the Great American
Great American
Chocolate Bar!
Ban and sportswear,
Ban and dresswear,
Ban whether your wearing
Cotton or cashmere!
If you care you’ll bother -
Don’t wear one without the other!
There are more on this site.
Hey, who remembers Mellow Roast?
It’s so fine, bein’ here with you,
relaxin’, gettin’ mellow
- as the near-comatose thirtysomethings sip their watered-down coffee on a tropical beach somewhere.
Great Balls of Commmmforrrttt!
It was some shavin’ cream, and I think Farrah Fawcett lala-ing over the Balls…
You’re not straight,
You’re not flat!
Why settle for a maxi
that’s only that?!
[sub]My friends and I got a lot of amusement out of the double meanings in that one back in high school[/sub]
What? People in Minnesota don’t like cats??? 
Cats are fine to have around if your snowed in.
Taste like chicken.
Ooooh. It was a parody of a slinky commercial. Now I get it. Thank you, Shirley
What rolls down stairs,
and comes in pairs,
rolls over your neighbor’s dog?
It’s good for a snack,
and fits on your back,
it’s log, log, LOG.
It’s log, it’s log,
it’s big, it’s heavy, it’s wood.
It’s log, it’s looog,
it’s better than bad, it’s good!
I can’t believe no one’s mentioned this one yet:
Double your pleasure, double your fun,
With Doublemint, Doublemint, Doublemint gum!
Speaking of tasting like chicken, anybody remember the old Shake and Bake commercial with the little girl who said "And I hay-elped!
It’s not how long you make it,
it’s how you make it long!
[sub]Yes, that was from a real TV or radio commercial (can’t remember which).[/sub]
Stronger than dirt, new Ajax
Laundry detergent
is stronger than dirt
Dox-i DAN, Dox-i-DAN, when nature needs a helping hand. Get over-night releif with Dox-i-DAN.
[nitpick]
…“neat, round spaghetti…”
Hence, Spghetti-O’s.
Just in case I ever run in to ya and we get into a jingle sing-a-long, I want us to be on the same page 
[/nitpick]
What makes everything so LIPSMACKIn
SO LIPSMACKIN
oh oh oh Goooood
Cool whips the one
With real creamy taste
Cool whips the one!
“…you’re soaking in it”
----Madge for Palmolive
“It keeps the hot side hot, and the cool side cool!”
"BUD…
WISE…
ER!"