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[li]I’m a dude[/li][li]I was brutally honest[/li][li]WTF?[/li][/ol]
Education isn’t about holding degrees or formal qualifications. It’s about an attitude toward the world around you and an interest in learning things that are beyond your personal day-to-day experience. It’s about wanting to know and understand new things of all kinds.
Thank you for your responses, even the sarcastic ones. Thankfully, I have a huge sense of Humor. And actually, I’m the one who proofreads HIS speeches, articles, etc. I have a way with words, on paper 
or computer screen.
The question was, and I’m embarrassed to even be admitting to this, “When did slavery end?”
I’m African American.
To answer some of your questions, I currently work as an HOA Portfolio Manager. Most women in my field are 20 plus years my senior AND make about 30k more than I do, which I knew before accepting the position. 2 years later, I’m still the youngest, less college education or experience in the field, but somehow I manage the most accounts and have the best relationships on the office. I accepted the position, obviously to broaden my knowledge in the field and ironically, become more confident with the woman that I am. Although, my peers and clients like what I do, I hate it. And I can’t wait to get out of this position.
He speaks highly of me all the time around his peers. But that question ALWAYS comes up "Where did you go for college? or “What’s your degree in?” There has not been one time that that questions hasn’t come up. I still don’t know how to confidently answer it. Any suggestions on this one??–I’m probably the only one who actually cares that I didn’t event go, I understand that, but the feeling is still there.
Before we were even dating he always use to talk about how he loves women who can teach him something he doesn’t know (the man knows at least something about almost everything) or excite him mentally. And I WANT to be that, because he does that for me and I love it, however, I’m not reciprocating it for him.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not the reality TV , read the blogs, and magazines type of gal, I maybe watch TV 3-4 hours out of the week.
I’m very attentive, loving, and supportive. Sometimes more to him and his needs, before mine. (That’s a whole other subject)
People see us as this “power couple” and always say things like they wish they had a relationship like ours. But really, I only care how HE sees our relationship and longevity with each other.
He’s overheard phone conversations that I’ve had with other people talking about a plethora of things and has asked why I don’t have conversations with him like that. And I really don’t know the answer. Which leads me to believe all of this may have stemmed from 3 years ago when he asked me that question. Or his notion of “always being right” I think that it has broke my confidence. I’m not sure. Because at that time he teased me for not knowing it because I think assumed I was really joking about not knowing and I still, to this day remember everything about that conversation, down to what we were wearing.
If you were in this situation, men, what would you like your fiance to do/say? What could possibly save the relationship?
A separate question, from an outsider looking in, am I bat shit crazy for feeling this way and just need to get over it, or do you think something really need to be addressed?
You’re normal for feeling this way, but most normal people are bat shit crazy.
Have you talked with him about all this, about the incident that started all this? If you don’t start at the beginning and communicate this with him, I’m with the others who are telling you the relationship is doomed.
You should watch some old “Man On The Street” clips from Jay Leno sometime where he asks questions about (then) current politics and events. That’ll put the spring back in your intellectual confidence.
What does he find irresistible about you, what is it about you that attracts him? Do you even know? Another conversation for yall to have.
Here is a gambit for you to try at those social occasions you mentioned, say something like “I’m not too familiar with that, please tell me about it” or “You know, that is just something that doesn’t normally come into my day to day life, could you tell me about it?” Even if you are sleeping with your eyes open and a rictus smile, merely faking interest, you LOOK INTELLIGENT to that person for your curiousity
Why don’t you try and take some community college classes if this is such a big deal to you. Community colleges generally have flexible hours for adult working students and a 2 year associates degree would be a boost for your resume. Sometimes as we get older we are much better at taking college courses because we have the maturity to handle the work. You might surprise yourself.
just re-read your previous post, you proofread his papers HAH! I learned quadractic equations in a similar way by having Mrs. Guest teach me how to do them so I could help her with her college homework. You both have to work HARD at a relationship, and that means finding areas of common interest, plus you sound like a person that learns by doing not reading
It’s good you know you have a skill. Hold on to that. It’s good for your self-esteem.
It would feel worse if you lied, right? I empathize, but the only way out is through: Admit you didn’t go, or only went a year, and if they think less of you, that’s an important thing to know about the loser, now, isn’t it? You have a good life and they’re high-and-mighty about how long someone else went to school. Who’s coming out ahead here?
The solution is self-education. Learn physics, or local history, or something he’s a bit weak in, and share it with him. And lord it over the people who think they’re better than you for having gotten a four-year degree like millions of others.
I’d want my fiancee to tell me that I was wrong to make fun of her because it hurt her feelings and to give me a chance to apologize. You obviously got shaken up by that teasing and if he’s any kind of a fiancee, he’ll want to make amends and help you move on. Holding it for three years isn’t entirely rational, but a lot of people do things that aren’t rational, and at least you recognize it.
Isn’t “don’t be a jerk” one of our guidelines?
It almost seems to me, that the conversation you need to have with him involves something that happened three years ago and you have never forgotten. All you’re doing is reminding him that while you are in fact adorable and endlessly clever, teasing you ,when you actually DIDN’T know something, hit you like an arrow in your heart. And while you are clever enough to garner a high paying position such that people assume you have a degree doesn’t, it turns out, keep you from feeling insecure about that, at times.
It sounds like he could be completely unaware. Share with him that knowing he was unaware of how he knocked you off your game, has left you unsettled and a titch insecure and you think it might be affecting other areas of your life.
There’s nothing wrong with saying you don’t really know what it all means. Or what you want him to do, if anything, if that’s how you feel. Only that it felt important to you to share this with him.
It’s a difficult conversation for you, but you no doubt have faced difficult conversations before, perhaps in your work. You took a deep breath and stepped into it then and you can now too. It sounds like it’s a good relationship. And that simply being honest and open about how you feel could go a real long way to mending this for you both.
If you love him and he loves you and you enjoy each others company, that’s all that really matters.
Cool. We can feed each other straight lines.
My gf has no college, while I have several degrees. She is in advertising and currently brings home 2.5x what I do a year. The only reason I keep up with news/current events is because she feeds me an ongoing analysis of what’s going on and what it means.
Ask the wizard for some self confidence.
When someone is introduced as “Doctor” I’ll sometimes ask if he/she has a real doctorate or one of those medical things. If they turn out to be an MD I usually tell them, “Don’t feel bad, a lot of people work with their hands.” Mostly it’s taken in good sport. Mostly.
Well, a lot of people in Western countries doesn’t realize it still hasn’t ended, your ancestry doesn’t mean you should know more about it than other people.
Aaaand what does he know about portfolio management? About how to pick up the right purchases among all the marketed glitter? About building relationships with people from many different walks of life?
As for “where did you go to college”, well, apparently in his crowd it’s the equivalent of other people’s “what church do you attend”. Neither one would occur to me as a conversation opener (only if somehow it came up, such as someone mentioning he’s in his church chorus or mentioning something about when he was in college), but I’ve met people who used both. You didn’t. And? Neither did my cousin Happy and what he doesn’t know about sales hasn’t been discovered.
I think you need to address it with him, because otherwise that’s going to be a festering boil poisoning your relationship. He can’t do better by you if he doesn’t know he’s doing wrong. I’m remembering my sister in law being furious when she found out my brother was into Fantasy after they’d been together for ten years. He hadn’t ever mentioned it because, since she didn’t feel attracted to the genre, he wanted to just do whatever made her happy, but by doing that he had robed her of a chance to make him happy by going to watch Lord of the Rings.
If you think your relationship needs “saving,” you should get counseling. The solution isn’t going to come from an internet message board.
I don’t think you can do much about the college question, but consider this - in today’s world it is far more of an accomplishment to have your kind of career without a college degree than with one.
Trust me, advanced degrees involve you learning more and more about fewer and fewer things. If you want to talk about more things, read more, and not current fiction. Read an introductory book about an area that interests you, and then if you still are interested read more specialized books. Read some classics. And then talk to your fiance about things you’ve learned. I bet lots of the facts will be new to him also.
Also, subscribe to the New York Times. It has more in depth news and articles than any other paper I know of.
And consider subscribing to the London-based journal The Economist. Don’t be put off by the name – I tell my students it should be called The Everything. If you read even just 25% of each issue’s articles (they’re usually short, but dense, clearly written, and stimulating), you’ll know so much about so many important and fun topics, some of which you’ll want to dig into further on your own.
They have an app for that too! Or a Chrome app. You can get three articles every week for free (the Editor’s Picks).
Cool. The New York Times website gets better and better, too, and you can read up to 10 articles per month for free.