I feel uneducated compared to my Master Degree holding Fiance

In My Humble Opinion
1

I have a high school education, that’s it.

I feel so uneducated compared to my fiance who currently holds a masters degree. School was NEVER an interest for me, as I finish one year at State and dropped out.

Early on in our relationship when we were just friends, he jokingly made a comment about me not knowing an answer to a simple questions that I should’ve known, and I think that’s where my insecurity started.

All of his friends are educated, I attend banquets, dinner parties, sports event with them all and NEVER have anything to say. And I feel like it’s gotten worse over the years. (We’ve been dating for a little over 3 years)

He doesn’t hold my lack of education over my head EVER, it was just that one time. But I’ve notice that he doesn’t have the intellectual conversations with me like he use to. Or if I bring something up that I think may spark an intelligent conversation with him, he unconsciously blows it off and makes me feel like it was intelligent enough or something.

Not only is he very smart, he’s wise beyond his years, community and family oriented, and a great supporter. He’s amazing, and I’ve always been in love with who he is.

Now me, I read a book every two months or so, depending on my work load and person activities. (The Alchemist was the last i just finished-recommend by him)

I’m really into the arts. Dance, singing, Spoken Word, etc.

Google is my best friend and I’m always looking to inform myself of a lot. But my brain NEVER retains anything I’m not interested in. And if it’s something that I’m proud that I’ve learned and bring it to his attention, the information never comes out correctly, or I immediately forget it.

(I found this site but searching “I feel uneducated”)

I need some honesty here, guys! Men, especially.

2

Did you have a question?

3

Welcome to the Straight Dope, SanDiegoQueen. Our General Questions forum is for factual questions. Since you are seeking opinions, I’ll move this to IMHO.

Colibri
General Questions Moderator

4

I think you need to get fairly real about what’s in the relationship for him. Are you attractive, attentive, amazing at sex? How kind an intellectually dominant partner is can change for the worse if whatever qualities he mainly values in you are going to fade with time.

If they are timeless qualities and it’s mainly your companionship he’s all about you have nothing to worry about. If he’s obsessed with your body or your mad love making skillz you need to be thinking about what’s going to happen down the line after a baby or two.

5

There are people who think having a Master’s degree means you’re educated?

Jackmannii, who has a Master’s degree in Science.

*Mrs. J. has me beat two college majors to one, but that’s not why she’s smarter.

6

Yeah, if I were smart, I’d realize that there’s a better use of my time than spending a quarter century in school.
T
tlh, PhD

Ignorance is not knowing things. Stupidity is being proud of it. Not knowing facts is fine, denigrating learning and lack of intellectual curiosity is bad.

Knowing when and how to Google is an important skill. Some people become their family’s designated IT got because they “know computers,” but 90% of that is knowing which phrase to use to Google the error.

7

Education does not necessarily correspond with intelligence, nor does the lack of it equate stupidity. People who discuss subjects you’re unfamiliar with may just have different interests than you. I’m sure there are discussions you have with your friends that your husband’s friends would be clueless about.

8

Go get yourself a job in a pub that the uni students frequent. I promise, within a month you’ll be cured of the delusion that education = intelligence. ������

9

LOL! There are some people who think that having a Medical degree means you’re educated!!

[sub]Some medical doctors are educated. But often in spite of their training, not because of it.[/sub]

10

I think you’re better off just moving on now before you get married. In a relationship it does not matter if one partner is smarter or more educated, what matters is how the relationship makes each person feel. Getting married won’t change any of this, it’ll probably exacerbate these problems. I’m saying this with the assumption you have no children together.

11

Part of my job involves taking data from a computer system (ideally, sometimes it’s from a pile of papers), putting it in an excel file, cleaning it, and loading it into the new computer.

One of my projects involved five factories. The three guys whose data kept coming up compostable were all highly educated: two had doctorates, the third had two masters’ and was working in his third. One had ADHD, one had ostrich genes and the third was heavily dyslexic. The other two had clean data; one knew it, was confident in his data and his mad data-cleansing skills and always offered to help Mr Ostrich with the Ostrich-factory’s data. The last guy had perfect data but alas, whenever he finished his checks, got a result of “perfect” and talked with ADHD and Dyslexic and they told him “we got all these errors!”, he thought “oh no! I can’t have clean data! These guys are so much more intelligent than me and they have all these errors, I must have run the checks wrong!” No damnit, his data was clean. A batallion of autoclave-wielding Mr Propers couldn’t have made it cleaner. But his insecurity re being less educated than the other two guys meant he always worked extra, re-running tests that had already come clean (I always ran them in parallel, so that I’d know if the results they were claiming were real or had been extracted from somebody’s armpit).

Another project, the people involved had BS’s at least, but some must have been in BullShit. Do you know how to find data in Excel? Do you know how to use autofilters? These people did not. They used Excel every day, but when they had to find a piece of data in a huge spreadsheet, they would move it around the screen as if it was on cardboard. Don’t get me started on the things the so-called programmer did when filtering data… I didn’t even know it was possible to mess a filter so badly. And he was educated to hell and back, in theory, and in theory his field of education included making filters. He must have been off sick when they explained that lesson.

One thing that you mention sounds to me like an, uh, orange flag. I think your boyfriend may be doing it out of mistaken kindness: he’s leaving you out of “intellectual” conversations, even when it’s you who brings out the subject. That’s not right. There will always be subjects about which one of you knows more than the other (who, will depend on the subject), but assuming that the one who knows less isn’t interested in learning about it isn’t kindness, it’s dismissal. My brothers and I have similar levels of education, but different fields: it took a while to accept that each of us was an expert in something the others didn’t really understand, but once we all did, it’s nice to have an expert in your pocket (well, at the other end of the phone).

12

You mean, “by searching”, correct? Maybe your fiancé could proofread for you?

13

You write better than 99% of the newbies we get coming in here with stories of relationship problems. Many of them end up never coming back, or are just trolls, but If that means anything, that’s my observation.

14

I think the current presidential campaign has destroyed most of our illusions.

15

Yeah, I can’t even brag about my Alma Mater now, because of that. :frowning:

16

If so, please post examples.

17

First of all, what is his Master’s in?

Second, what do you do for a living?

Third, what does he do?

Fourth, what’s your level of education?
I have a Master’s in a Liberal Art, and, believe me, it only demonstrates my stupidity for not taking a STEM course, not my intelligence.

NOPE! STOP!
Most important question: what was the question that your fiance took issue with? If it was something really simple, like, “Is Rush the greatest band in the world?” and you answered something like “No”, well, of course, that is stupid.

However, if it wasn’t anything that every person should know, that shouldn’t even be on the table for him giving you grief.

Then, if the question was something that only an educated person should know, your fiance was a real turd for giving you grief about it, since you don’t have that level of training.

And, if it was something that everybody should know, well, you didn’t, so, why was he giving you grief in front of friends?

So, final analysis, your fiance sounds like he has a Ph.D. in Prickism. You ought to send his ass down the pike. That may educate him.

18

Sorry, just reread the OP, and found out the answer.

19

Dude, seriously? :dubious:

Anyway, to the OP:

My ex wife and my current GF are both WAY smarter than me. I love it! Mainly because it challenges me to use my head more. Also, there’s the novelty of having a human encyclopedia by your side: “Honey, what a five letter word for ghostly? Starts with e.”

[Two seconds later after I’ve been banging my head into the wall] “Eerie”

Of course the con side is, I always get my ass handed to me in arguments, even when I know I’m fucking right. :smiley:

20

Sorry, just reread the OP, and found out the answer.

Sorry, just rereread the OP, and have to revise my answer.
Don’t worry about an education for your bf’s sake; if you’re not going to make it as a couple, the education will be the least of the issues. You may, however, be on the cusp of a different life, one devoted to academia, and this is your starting point. Only you can know that.
However, please don’t get down on yourself for not having an “education”; you can change that by going to a college, even online. If I could show you most of the jugheads that I know who have a degree, you may get a bit smug that you didn’t go that route.
Good luck.