I feel wierd.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Time for Ag’s relationship hour. Not really hour, more like a few minutes. I guess it really depends on how fast you read, but I’m not here to criticize. Anyway, as many of you know from this thread http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=37002 I’ve had bad luck with dates lately.

Well, right after doing that thread, I got one of those :to the single person in the household" letters. You know the ones I’m talking about. I’ve never opened one before, so figured I’d take a look. I didn’t want to fill it out, but I saw a weblink. I hit the sight and saw a link that said “check combatibility” or something like that. I clicked on it thinking it would ask me a few questions and then spit out a couple paragraphs about the type of person I’d be compatible with. Being bored, I did it. Mistake. That’s not what it was at all. I filled out my info and hit submit. The page that same up had nothing to do with combatibility. It said somebody would be calling me in the next few days to speak to me about the program. Fuck.

Tuesday night I get a call from them. I would have hung up, but it really was my fault they were calling, so I went ahead and heard her out. Somehow, she made me feel really comfortable talking to her, and before I knew it, she was asking me questions. Have I ever been convicted of a felony, do I smoke, have I ever felched a goat more than twice in a single day. The answers were of course no, no, and only once, but she was really drunk and didn’t seem to mind. Anyway, once again, before I knew what was happening, we had scheduled an interview for next week. She said it would take about 90 minutes and I needed to bring two forms of ID, a “wish list”, and a practice goat.

So, I have a few questions.

  1. Have I made a mistake? I feel really, really wierd doing this.

  2. Has anybody else done anything like this? Have any luck?

  3. What should I expect at this interview?

and
4) Are there multiple goat breeds? If so, which is preferable?

I guess I shouldn’t be, but I’m kinda worried nonetheless. I’m trying to keep a sense of humor about the whole thing, but it’s still something I didn’t really want to do, but got sucked in to. All I wanted was a little personality summary, and I end up with a potential gang of minions trying to find me a date. I mean, minions are cool and all, but I’d rather they be doing other things, you know? That’s a whole other thread altogether. So, advice is needed. Please try to make me feel better. Thanks.

2

Hmmmm. The only advice that I can think of is: Hold onto your wallet.

3

Can’t help you. I never tried a dating service, though I was always curious. I assume you got a quote up front on how much it’s going to cost you. So if nothing comes of it, you at least know how much you’re going to be out.

The only other consideration I can think of is the size of their stable of clients. A small company is going to have a lot of recycles and low turnover, while a large company is going to see more fresh faces. Is the company one of the big names in the area?

Also, it seems to me that the best companies in that industry should be able to put you at your ease and walk you through the process. If the treatment is shoddy or thoughtless, that’s probably a bad sign.

That’s all I can think of. If you’re okay with the cost and the possibility of nothing coming of it, then what the hell. Go for it. The main thing is to keep getting out of the house and keep working at the dating game. If this dating service turns out to be a blind alley, then there’s no tragedy in that. Inevitably there are going to be a few blind alleys and some wasted time and money before you hit pay dirt. (Sorry about all the mixed metaphors!) But that counts toward experience. And meantime you can regale us with some more of your tales.

4

I haven’t paid them anything, if that’s what you’re mean. That’s antoher thing I’m worried about, though. I have not agreed to pay them anything, so I’m obligated to nothing right now. That’s why I want to get happy/horror stories gathered up by next week. I’m going to do the interview, because I said I would, and I want to know as much about what to expect as possible.

5

Should have waited a minute before posting. I did check on this company after I got off the phone with her. They are in the top 5(based on number of clients) in the metroplex. I guess that’s a good thing. I’ll find out for sure, eventually. And really, money isn’t a problem. I’m single and have plenty of it. I am worried about being scammed, though. From what I can tell, this company won’t be one of those. I’m still going to get as much info as possible before signing a check, though. I am weary of being ripped off.

6

Aglarond, don’t let them give you the hard sell or take absurd amounts of money from you, okay? Also, ask about the ages of their clients - you’re 21, and while a good Mrs. Robinson could be just what you need, you want to make sure their “stable” is in your age range.

Second, I’ve read your posts and you come across as being wonderful. So for you, I’ll humiliate myself for 1 sec (everyone else just look away, please):

About a year and 1/2 ago I tried Matchmaker.com and I also placed an ad in the City Paper. The whole thing cost me maybe $20, so it’s worth it. I had a co-worker who had met someone that way, and I just wasn’t meeting anyone through my normal activities, so I thought, what the hell, I’ll try it. I wasn’t desparate,or pathetic, or really needy (a bit horny, maybe), but I felt like I needed to try something to break out of the old patterns.

I corresponded with a couple of really nice people, I made one long-term friend, got laid a few times, a string of dates ranging from the horrific to the merely amusing - nothing sublime, unfortunately. After the whole thing I decided that the whole “you never meet anyone when you are really looking” thing is true, and I’ve been much happier (albeit somewhat dateless) since then.

So go for it if it seems like you will get your money’s worth. If you get a couple of dates with nice people that you might not have met otherwise, it might be worth it. If the people try to give you some kind of hard sell, get out.

For what it’s worth, here’s a big hug from a busty single chick who thinks you’re smart!

7

Dating services can be successful. I know of several people who met their significant other through a dating service.

Some points to ponder:

Many of them present a “catalog” of pictures / profiles that you can browse through. If you’re not photogenic that may well reduce your chances dramatically.

The age range can also be a problem. If you were, for example, in your early twenties, and the dating service has mostly people in their forties, then you run the risk of not finding very many compatible people.

A friend of mine joined a matrimonial service, and the owner of the service absconded after a few months, leaving him high and dry. How long has the service been in operation?

If the service is very expensive, the people that join it would probably be looking for a lifetime partner (including most often marriage.) If that’s not what you want then you probably shouldn’t join.

8

Thanks Magdelene, it might be worth it. I’m not, however, looking for a Mrs. Robinson. Although most of their clients are over 30, they supposedly have a pretty good selection around my age. Mostly a couple of years older, but I tend to relate better with people older than me.

This company has been around for almost 20 years, so I doubt they’re going to shoot out of here too quickly. And, my understanding is that they don’t give you a “catalog” of pictures/profiles to look through. They interview everybody and try to match you up with people they think will work. So, I’m not really worried about that. I will say that I’m horrible unphotogenic(is that a word?). Just check the DFW Dopefest pictures if you need evidence of that. :slight_smile: I’ve always relied on personality to get dates.

It was so easy when I was in school, but life’s been really good to me in a lot of ways and I ended up in an actual career at 19. I spent some time in college, but my inability to, you know, attend class got in my way of meeting a lot of people there. I was working as a sys admin right out of high school. I wasn’t in charge, or anything, just really busy. I was putting in 60-90 hour weeks and it was hard enough to find time to sleep, much less go to class and study. You sys admins out there know exactly what I’m talking about. I finally burned out and went to work in a call center for a while. I later quit that and took the job I have now. Which means I’ve spent the last 2 years at a company working with people who were doing this stuff when I was in diapers. There is one guy who’s 24, but no women even close to my age. Hence my current predicament.

Sorry about all that. Anyway, if they want to charge me an arm and a leg they can kiss my ass. I got into this on accident. I can get out of it for free. Also, at my age, I’m not necessarily looking for a long-term relationship. I have alot of great friends that I do a lot of activities with, but they’re all a good bit older than myself(like 10-15 years older) and I’d like to meet a few people close to my age. If it costs me a few bucks to make a little mistake, then hey, that’s the shits. Life goes on. I’ll find the “right” person eventually. For right now, I’m just looking to meet people.

As far as I can tell, this post is kind of all over the place. The chi cannot flow freely, or something. I don’t feel like proofreading, so screw it. Who else has advice?

9

::feels Aglarond::

Hey, you’re right! You DO feel weird! Kind of a rough texture, but soft, pudding like inside. Somewhat spongy.

Hey, guys! Feel this! This is f’n weird!

–Tim

10

I’m cream-filled. :smiley:

11

Great, he’s a twinkie.

12

Ag, you should just come hang out at Scruffy Murphy’s (near Baylor here) a weekend or two, that should be enough for you… Oh, and did you tell the service about your ‘smoking beer and drinking crack’ addiction? You might want to add that, so as you don’t get mixed in with anyone who snorts pot.

Oh, and go watch that movie, ‘Singles’ with um, oh, i forget…

13

Zyada, the PC term is golden sponge cake. I don’t appreciate the name calling. Stuff that in your bong and snort it, Miss Smarty.

Brood, I may take you up on that offer. Man, I’ll have to drive all the way down to Baylor, though. Bummer. Anyway, I left out my ‘smoking beer and drinking crack’ problem. I didn’t want them to know about my battle with weight control. Smoke beer, gain weight. Drink crack, lose weight. Kind of like the problem Alice had in her adventures in wonderland. Assuming, of course that she were alcoholic crack head, that is.

In the immortal words of Milkman Dan, “I don’t know how they do things on your home planet, spaceman…but here in Mayberry, we just don’t talk to gun-toting, redneck, amphetemine freaks that way.” That Milkman Dan. He’s such a character.

14

Ahhh, Aglarond, this sounds eerily familiar. Take some info and advice from the old fart. (Shut up, I’m an old fart to a 21 yr old.)

I got pulled in to a similar deal - could even be the same company. The way mine works is they have a set of books with a written profile and pictures, and a video interview. The profile lists basic descriptive info (what you do, age, location, race, height, weight, religious preference, kids, date someone with kids, etc). It also has a self description, a description of interests, and a description of what you want. You can opt for casual dating around, seeking serious relationship, or eventual marriage. The video asks a few standard generic questions about you, your interests, where you would go on a date or on a long trip, and what you want in a date.

You would look through the profiles, note the ones that catch your interest, view their videos, and if interested, select them. They will get a notice, review your profile and video, then reject you with one of 18 standard reasons. (Well, that’s my experience) If they accept, you get each other’s names and phone numbers. Otherwise, you move on. Supposedly they are also looking at profiles and might pick you, so you would get the option to turn them down. After that, it’s up to the two of you.

For me it hasn’t seemed worth it. I’ve been doing it for 3 years, and had practically no luck. I’ve been on exactly one date. I received a second positive response, and that died at the first phone call. I also did have 2 different women select me - neither was anything like what I wanted.

My experience is limited to me, other people seem to do fine with it. However, the real kicker is the cost. They want you to drop some serious money. Of course the pricing is top heavy to get you to commit to a 3 yr contract vs 1 yr contract, because 1 yr doesn’t give enough time to really get commitment.

The other drawback - most of the women are older. I’m just now finding some in my age range. There are very few younger women who feel the need to turn to a service like this. They mostly haven’t discovered the difficulties of finding the right person enough - get enough dates or are in college, or just don’t feel right about it. So the pickings are slim for the younger set.

As far as the interview, it will be the hard sell. They will hit you about “you invest time and money into your career, into your car, into the rest of your life, shouldn’t you invest in your romantic life?” Then drop the price tag.

It’s not bad, it’s not evil, it’s not something to be ashamed of. It is a bit embarrasing to admit you’re using it, but there are lots of different styles of dating organizations - including the personal ads. It’s just one more way to meet women. Can I say it won’t work for you? No. Would I recommend it? No. It hasn’t worked for me, but some of that is my own unique nature, and some of it is perhaps the same problem I have with other methods - my own low self-esteem.

Incidently, I’m coming up on the end of my term - got the notice I need to renew. I’m going to argue I earned the guaranteed extra year. But if I don’t get it, I don’t think I will renew. It isn’t working for me, and I don’t want to drop that much cash again on a dead horse.

By the way, the profiles that are supposed to be unique and give you a feel for the individual all start to sound alike. They all want someone who’s active, ambitious but knows how to relax, and has a sense of humor. Nobody ever wants a lazy sot who likes to sit around the house, watch TV, and drink beer. They make it sound like you get to know so much about a person from their profile and video, but I’ve found it not to be that informative. Well, you do get to see what they look and sound like, and get some generic data on age, location, etc.

15

Given, I don’t know exactly how this one works, but I’ve been told that they use no videos, catalogs, or computers. You get info only on what they believe will work. And while I’m thinking about it, how much do these things cost? I’m beginning to think maybe it’s more than I expected. I’m actually not sure what I expect, but this sounds bad. I’m just looking to meet somebody, I’m not desparate. Perhaps that will be my response if it’s too much. And if it makes you feel any better, Irish, I still think you’re old.