I figured out what my problem is.

The BBQ Pit
1

While I’m on and posting to another thread that I saw Fahrenheit 9/11 tonight and my synopsis can be expected sometime in the near future, I’d like to break my self-imposed exile to say a few things, some of which I’m bound to regret.

I read this thread a while back, and it was one of the reasons why I chose to crawl into my hole and stop posting, and other than this post, the other one I did tonight, and my upcoming comments on the movie, that thread is such a gaping sore for me that I’m still pretty much incapable of coming back here regularly.

Robin said

Now, on the face of things that would seem to mean that I am holding her to my principles, that I won’t let her see the movie Because I don’t want to give money to Michael Moore. But that’s simply not the truth, and I’ll expound on that later. But first, lets review the hateful things that were said about me:

If you read the rest of the thread you see that not only did other people take jibes at me, but Robin actually encouraged it once by saying this:

to Chefguy’s little jibe.

Well, here’s the rest of the story, the one that Robin never bothered to tell you, even after I asked her to.

I am working a job, the only one I could find, for $7.50/hr. I have to travel 100 miles per day to take Aaron to day care and then go to work. I am working so hard that I have lost 25 pounds in the last month, I have no appetite, my left shoulder is basically wrecked, and I had a blister explode on my left foot that caused excruciating pain. I would come home and my sock would literally be covered with blood. Every night. I am literally destroying my body to feed my family. Robin had her temp job, but guess what? She just lost that, as I knew she would sooner or later. Quite literally, we have no discretionary income. None. Every dollar that is spent is money that needs to go somewhere else.

So, what am I feeling? Rage. Incomprehensible rage. Even as I type this I feel nothing but anger. You judgmental vultures are ready to attack at a moment’s notice. I have felt this anger welling up inside of me for some time, but I wasn’t quite willing to say that that’s what it was until now. But that’s it. And I don’t quite know how to deal with it anymore.

So, again, having gotten that off my chest, I take my leave once more. Expect my surprising review thread on Fahrenheit 9/11 soon, and after that who knows? Not I.

2

I would hope that the vultures will stay away until Airman can have this thread deleted.

3

Wives do stuff like that sometimes. It helps keep us on our toes.
As for the jackanapes that wailed on you, screw em. Their behaviour doesn’t deserve to be rewarded by your continued absence, and I’m sure you have better things to do than sitting around being pissed off.

4

Well, I only read the first page, but I saw their comments more as concern than passing judgement, even though they were harsh and snarky. And I thought Chefguy was joking with what he said about how Republican.

I’m sorry your wife didn’t clarify the situation, and I can see that you’re very overwrought right now, so I don’t want to add to your pain. I think the two of you know what your life is, and people on a message board can become very jaded and flippant about things. It’s easy to forget that about half the time it’s more than just a conversation that’s going on in cyberspace.

I hope things work out for you. I don’t think I’ve spoken to you before, but I’ve watched some parts of your lives unfold on the boards, and I thought you were both really cool. Take care. I hope everything gets resolved for the better.

5

[Totally unrelated hijack]
Airman (and Robyn) - I haven’t read the other thread(s?), and honestly don’t give a hoot about 9/11, seeing it or not, and what other people think about the way you two choose to live and share your lives. Screw the shrews who feel the need to teach you about partnership and equality! :rolleyes:

I just feel the need to say that your situation totally sucks, and I admire you for doing everything possible in order to keep your heads above water and not fall into the unemployed/“woe is me”/“I’m poor! Help me!” crowd.

Just as I admire your online personalities (not that you never go off the deep end, but hey… if I had a buck for every misplaced argument I’ve ever made…), you have now given me a reason to admire your IRL one, too (that, and your pride, Airman, in your Air Force record :)).

Small consolation knowing someone thousands of miles away, on a different continent, cares. But I hope it lifts your spirit just a little!

I really hope things look up for you people. You deserve better than life is throwing at you
Dani

6

No offense, man, because I respect the hell out of you (if for no other reason than you had the balls to join the military while I let my mother talk me out of it, and now I’m too old to serve), but suck it up. You’ve got a wife who loves you, a child who needs you, meanwhile, there’s a lot of us out there who’ve got dick to show for all our hard work.

No, really. Let me tell you the shit that I’m going through. I make only slightly more on the hour than you do, I “play” with molten steel on an almost daily basis, knowing that at any moment I could be severely disfigured (I’ve already got a bunch of minor scars, it’s only a matter of time before I end up with a major one). I do this partly because I enjoy the work, but primarily because it’s the only job in my field that I can find, and I’m probably one of the lowest paid workers in my field. I come home to an empty house every fucking day of the week, and I don’t have the opportunity to change this in the near future. Add to that that there’s the remote possibility that the woman I love more than life itself (who couldn’t give a shit about me) is possibly carrying my child, but doesn’t want a fucking thing to do with me, my health is rapidly declining (Hey! I’m up to two packs of smokes a day!), I’ve lost two of the closest friends I’ve ever had (one because he went fucking crazy and the other one because I’m a dumbass), and there really ain’t dick I can do about any of this for a long time to come and I gotta say that I’d be willing to trade places with you in a heartbeat.

I know that shit may seem black as pitch to you at the moment, but there’s those of us out there (and let’s not forget those unlucky bastards who’ve had the misfortune to be born in a Third World nation) who’ve got it worse.

7

You have a job and a life partner?

More’n what I got.

And I’m sure I’ll get flamed for saying this, but I have no sympathy for parents who complain about how hard life is now that they’re parents. Becoming a parent is entirely voluntary and they should have known going in that there were going to be huge obligations that went along with it.

That being said, I hope your situation improves soon, and I hope mine does too.

8

I think it’s important to remember here Airman that you’re under a lot of stress, and things are going to bother you a lot more than they normally might. I say that because I understand where you’re coming from completely, except for me it was $7, and I was making extra money by picking up dead bodies in the middle of the night in addition to my full time work. Nothing like smiling at your spouse after a night of picking up diseased corpses.

Spouses can go at it pretty hard over things and not realise necessarily when someone is emotionally injured and weakened going into a conflict, especially when they’re used to that person being very strong and solid. It’s especially difficult when both parties are in that sort of state.

I’m sure it’s about more than a movie, and about more than a thread on a message board, because it always is. You just need to remember that you can either hold each other up, or tear each other down, and it takes a lot more effort and perseverance in your situation to do one rather than the other.

I say that because, having read the other thread, I think you’re letting it get to you more than it should. It’s something that under normal circumstances I don’t think you’d even have trouble with. You’d probably laugh it off, and simply move on. I don’t really know what’s going on in your life, but maybe it’s time for MsRobyn to back off a bit, maybe it’s time for you to back off a bit as well.

Anyways, I don’t know how to make it work, and I never have, but my advice is to go to bed, give MsRobyn a hug, and let it go. :wink:

9

Well, AD, for what it’s worth, you have my empathy.

I think that you are to be commended for your dedication to your family. You know that they are what matters, not anybody’s opinion on a messageboard (even this one)

When times suck financially (and believe me, there’s a lot of us out here that know), things get difficult to deal with and everything puts you on edge. People pushing your buttons, even more so.

Best of luck to you, and may your efforts pay off soon.

I look forward to your return to the boards in the future, when things have settled out. I am a dyed in the wool liberal, but I appreciate the intelligent conservative voices on this board all the more so because of their scarcity.

10

You know, Doors, I hesitant to say anything because I’m fairly certain it’ll sound trite, but I guess it’s better to come off trite than to mispeak by silence.

You get a lot of grief from all corners here, because most of us are ideologues of one flavour or another, whether we admit it or not. There’s respect there too, though.

As for the F9/11 debacle, I saw that Robyn clarified in the other thread that it was ‘just’ about money being tight. Hopefully people will back off a bit.

Personally, when I’m up against it (like for the last couple of years, eesh) I usually find well-meaning words of encouragement and consolation fucking infuriating – but they seem to be the done thing. I’ll at least try to find the middle ground and avoid the platitude of “it’ll get better,” as if hardship was necessarily temporary. From what little I’ve gleaned about you from these forums, though, the smart money’s on things turning around soon. You work like the devil, and you have important things to fight for, and … fuck that sounds trite.

Things will get better, because you’re a tough son-of-a-bitch and you’re the sort that makes it work. Sorry, I’m not very good at this.

How 'bout “Good luck, and take care?”

And please stick around, if you have time for us.

11

Good luck to you, Airman. I’ve missed your posts.

I won’t comment on anything that may be going on between you and Robyn, because it simply isn’t my business.

12

It doesn’t help matters any that you have a knack for pissing off people at the drop of a hat, y’know, especially with your knee-jerk condemnation of folks whose views are different from your own.

But hey, even though I still think you’re a bit of a twit, you have my sympathy, for whatever that’s worth. As a certified bleedin’-heart liberal, I hate to see anyone suffer, even if you can be an annoying weenie five days out of the week. :wink:

13

(Trying really hard not to make a crack about supporting Democrats who are in favor of a living wage for all workers…)…

Money troubles cause a lot of marriages to falter, and you all deserve a lot of credit for hanging in there for the “for poorer” instead of just during the “for richer.” Economies are cyclical, and things will improve in the long run, I’m sure (and I hope).

14

I don’t know you, but I just wanted to say that I’m wishing you and yours the best for the future.

I’m concerned for your health. The situation you describe is frighteningly not sustainable with the weight loss, blisters, and shoulder. :frowning:

Take good care of yourself, and help those around you take care of you. I wish I could offer you more, but I don’t really know much about your situation except that it’s bad. Wishing you blessings! :slight_smile:

15

I don’t wish to be self-serving, Doors, so I’ll just say illegitimi non carborundum.

16

Not sure this thread is a good idea – some things are best kept private.

Having said that, best of luck to both of you.

17

Ack, Airman, I feel for you. Sounds like life’s been dealing you a rough hand as of late.

But while I see that this thread was partially started to criticise some fellow Dopers (in and of itself not anything I’d frown upon), I also feel that a substantial drive behind it stems from a, shall we say, marital tiff. As such, I’m closing this thread - it’s probably something best worked out offline, between the two of you, your comments on the posters mentioned in the OP notwithstanding.

Best of luck to you and your family.