I finally am starting to see what John Mellencamp meant. . . .

From “Jack & Diane”:
*
Oh yeah, life goes on
Long after the thrill of livin’ is gone
. . .
Hold on to sixteen as long as you can
Changes come around real soon,
make us Women and Men
*

This morning, sitting at my desk, typing on my computer the same way I have five days a week for months, and will for the foreseeable future, I realized: this is My Life.

This is NOT the Life I dreamed about as a kid, where I went to interesting places and did exciting things. This is NOT the job I dreamed of having as little as 2-3 years ago, where I did interesting things that broadened my mind. No, I tried that once, and ended up moving back after two years because I was lonely.

No, I guess my “thrill of livin’” is at a pretty low ebb. But don’t feel sorry for me; this is not a tragedy, and I am not depressed. I already tried the deep depression thing once. It’s passe’ now.

I guess the point is, I finally realized that my life is going to last a long time. (Is this what they call “growing up”?) And now that I know this, it seems … I don’t know, deflating. There is nothing very magnificent around the next bend. There’s nothing that great waiting for me. Oh, maybe I’ll go back to school, maybe I won’t. Maybe I’ll get a better job, maybe I won’t. Maybe I’ll get married and have kids. Maybe I won’t.

But those things just don’t hold much mystery for me anymore.

I guess it is a little tragic.

Life often seems to move in plateaus. We’ll have a goal that’s exciting, then you reach it and some of the luster wears off, then you over time refocus and find more energy.

Some of the next steps you mentioned, another job, wife and kids, are hard to gear up for until they actually happen.

Then they’re wonderful.

What lieu said.

But really pay attention to what you said right here:

You have plenty of time to do all the things you’ve dreamed of doing.

One of my favorite quotes is a Turkish proverb: “No matter how far you have gone on a wrong road, turn back.”

If you know what you’re doing will not make your life better, find a way to change it.

Big hugs, Lizard.

Lizard, if you don’t want to get stuck in this rut, then you need to point in another direction. Find a goal or objective and make sure that you are making progress towards this. If not then you will realize again in thirty years that life is not all that long. So live it while you can.

Hell, Lizard I think I know some of what you mean. Or at least, your post rang a bloody big bell with me. I guess I need a “goal or objective”. But what?

I hear you Lizard, I’m in the same rut (strange I haven’t run into you before in such a narrow space).

If I knew how to shake myself out of it, I’d do it and share my great revelation with you (and Tansu) – or maybe I’d write a book, appear on talk shows, and make millions.

But since I don’t have any answers, I’ve never been a long term planner, and don’t have any huge goals to strive for, I just have fun where I can, one day at a time. I kind of go from little short term goal to little short term goal. Maybe if I work through enough of them they’ll add up to one great big meaningful goal (and then I’ll write my book, appear on talk shows and make millions!).

Check It Out: I Aint Ever Satisfied because Now More Than Ever these are Hard Times For An Honest Man who is Down And Out In Paradise. This Time We Are The People who want Love And Happiness and Justice And Independence (and Hotdogs And Hamburgers Whenever We Wanted) but Nothings For Free.

What If I Came Knocking, Again Tonight, to Get A Leg Up and Dance Naked with Gloria or When Margaret Comes To Town, since that’s The Kind Of Fella I Am? The Real Life, with a Void In My Heart and in my Weakest Moments, is Close Enough even when it Hurts So Good, but It Don’t Scare Me None on this Lonely Ol’ Night since I Aint Even Done With The Night, Tonight.
Too Much To Think About,
Big Daddy Of Them All

Wanna buy an unopened copy of “Greatest Hits”? Cheap, really.


Fagjunk Theology: Not just for sodomite propagandists anymore.

H8_2_W8: As a fan of the little bastard, I have to say that was the best post ever.

Enjoy this absurd merry-go-round while you can. It truly is once in a lifetime. :slight_smile:

Here’s another line from JCM that I have always liked:

Days turn to minutes
and minutes to memories

I reflect on that line when time just zooms by so fast…makes me remember to slow down and just be in the moment. Sounds like a cliche, but it’s true.

Another line I thought of when I read the OP:

There’s really only two choices: Get busy livin’ or get busy dyin’

                         - Red from "The Shawshank Redemption"

Kal - Forget all about that macho shit and learn how to play guitar. Uh, I mean thanks.

I have been having the same nagging thoughts, several hours out of every day lately. I get this way when it’s birthday time. I’m turning 41. Female, single, no kids. I missed it. I missed the entire damn boat. I feel like I guessed my career wrong and I’m not going back to school. Guess I should have gotten married, I just didn’t care for the ones doing the asking at the time. Clocks about out on the thought of children and I can’t change that now either.

The worst part is that there isn’t a second chance and I want to kick myself in the pants for blowing the first one.

Long as everyone’s quoting stuff, why not “Don’t dream it; be it”

What goal or objective? I don’t know, that’s for you to decide. But try this: imagine that you’ve lived a long life. You are lying on your deathbed, surrounded by loved ones. As you close your eyes to gently expire, what is the thing that you wished you’d done? Held someone close? Climbed a mountain? Gone to (more) school? Visited other countries? Sang on stage? Written a book? Opened a business? Ran with the bulls? Join the Peace Corps? Eaten live eels?

You get the picture. There’s likely something inside of you that is unfulfilled. Maybe you need to just spend some days browsing the library instead of surfing porn/anime/sci-fi/games on the 'Net. Talk to people whom you look at as role models or inspire you or whom you look at with envy. You don’t need to find your ultimate goal or objective right now, but if you get in the habit of setting your sights on and attaining things you can do lots of little things.

As an example, I just saw Jason Lee on the Daily Show. He spent a month crossing the northern part of America and just hanging out in cowboy bars and meeting real working cowboys. Took a month to do it. This was something that would never cross my mind to do, but at least it sounded interesting. Maybe not that, but something similar. Like live in a small village in Mexico for a year.

Anyway, when you figure out whatever it is, check back in here and let us know. You know that you’ll get lots of encouragment and that might help you to actually carry through on your plans.

Good luck!

Well, Lizard - hang in there. Been there many times as well and can sympathize. I agree with posts from the likes of Gazelle from Hell. The road is long and it’s not a contest, yet a journey. One of the things that had helped me was when I realized that I wasn’t alone! This and knowing that I was loved helps pull you through the “troughs” of life. You indeed have this as well. Focus on the good things in your life and build and appreciate from there. Lots of hugs…

You will learn to find thrills in other aspects of your life. Things you once took for granted will become a thrill. A good bowel movement, for instance. In time, having a good bowel movement will be your fondest wish, your greatest desire. Your whole life will revolve around your bowel movement; you’ll plan your day based on it. You will long for it and fantasize about having it; you’ll bore your friends by your endless talk about it, you will remember the last one you had, re-living every moment of it over and overagain, you’ll worry about whether you’ll ever have another one, and count the hours (or days) until you do. In short, it will be just as thrilling as Jack ever was (or Diane, be that the case).