Salmon can be quite red! Lovely smoked, as sushi, or seared on the outside & left red in the middle.
And I know at least one vegetarian who was extremely tempted by the very smell of bacon. Then, there’s the crunch.
(I remember a casual neighborhood seafood restaurant from the 80’s. And still regret that I didn’t devour more of their oysters on the halfshell. A dozen for a dollar!)
Another Canuck here: To me it’s always been “crab” and “tuna” - never “crabmeat,” and only “tuna fish” if telling that piano joke.
I’ve always taken that phrase to be a corrupted version of “It’s always in the last place you’d think to look.”
I love lobster more than anything but try to avoid it just because they get thrown into boiling water.
There’s a distinction. There are many parts of a crab besides the meat. 1 pound of blue might yield .000001 oz of meat, and you have to work at it. It’s quite possibly the most intimidating food on the face of the planet, and that includes shark and wooly mammoth. It’s “crab” if I have to do all the work, and “crabmeat” if someone has done it for me.
You want something a little less cruel and oogy? Split them live bugs right through the brain, and down through the tail. Scoop out the guts and fill with crabmeat stuffing (shrimpfish, scallopmeat, and cowburger are optional), then broil. You’ll haves you some yum.
Yes. There’s nothing wrong with giving them a quick death that way, and stuffing them that way does sound tastey. 
Come see Bottomless Pete, Nature’s cruelest trick!
You didn’t read my article in the Lancet titled “God Damn You, Crab, You Beat Me In Chess Again”, did you?
I have been vegetarian for years now. I drool when I smell burgers, or bacon, or pork, or ham and cheese…
I do eat cheese/eggs/dairy. To be perfectly honest, Im not really sure why I dont eat meat (thought I cant stand seafood and chicken has always worried me). Also, I really do like vegetarian foods. I have considered eating meat again but Im not sure of what might happen, Im especially worried about blowing up like a balloon and getting really fat.
Fry
Hey! Detroit’s really not that bad. Oh, sure, the economy sucks now and I think I’d very much like to get out in the name of self preservation, but be it ever so humble, there’s no place like home.
At least it’s not New Jersey.
ow! stop hitting me!
I fear that each time I go into that bar. After the 5th plate, the manager brought one over. That wasn’t a “lending the waitress a hand on a VERY lax evening”, no, it was a “message”.
After that, I contemplated looking for Lionel Hutz’s number in my phone.
By the way, the final kill total was 5 and a half plates, so a little over 10 pounds. Bested my personal record!
I asked the waitress what the most she saw eaten was. She said it was 4 plates. I responded that I had eaten 5. She replied “Wow! That’s a lot!” in her best “Wow, your retarded son drew that? No, I’m not saying he’s got some actual talent, it really does look good!” voice.
This is the thanks I get for defending you? 
Oh, and “tuna fish” is the stuff that comes in cans. “Tuna” is the stuff you get fresh.
looks at the ground and kicks an errant pebble
Thanks for defending me, you soulless, Yankee-loving Jerseyite.
I’m Yankee and I used to live in Michigan, not far from where you live now. What’ve you got to say to me? 
Red Lobster (do those exist back east?) did a similar thing to me once, during their most recent all-you-can-scarf crab leg extravaganza. After the first few plates o’ crabby goodness, I suddenly started getting the smallest, greyest, nastiest-looking crab legs you’ve ever seen, and I count the ones that swim in tepid water all day at the el-cheapo Chinese buffet when I say that.
Since other tables were getting bright red huge crab legs, I can only assume it was a deliberate attempt to get the eating machine out the door. So I ate four more plates, just to spite 'em.
(And besides, while it LOOKED like crap, it still tasted good!)
Oh yes. We’ve got three of them in my area. I only go them when they’re having the Lobsterfest special. And no one else in my family likes to go there.
LOUNE Five+ plates? Impressive. A friend of mine actually got thrown out of an AYCE Chinese buffet for draining the shrimp bowl. Twice.
Old lady running the place: “You go home now. You eat too much.”
Just chiming in to second the American distinctions already made by others: “Tuna” is a piece of tuna on a plate; tunafish comes in a can. And “crab” comes in a shell while “crabmeat” doesn’t.
And LOUNE: Enjoy your crabbapalooza while you can. As you stumble into old age, you may well encounter that ender of mass shellfish consumption: GOUT.
Me, I wouldn’t eat a shellfish on a bet, but the rest of my family loves 'em. Oh, how my father will sigh as he watches others devour crab and lobster, since he can’t eat it anymore without an attack of gout. And my brother (now 36) just had his very first experience with gout and swears he’ll never eat shellfish again.
Ugh seafood. All disgusting. The only seafood I’ll eat is hushpuppies.
Is it the crustaceans or the drawn butter causing the gout? Just askin’.