Tonight I was indexing death certificates for the FamilySearch website. I came across a woman who died in 1934 at the age of 85. Her cause of death?
“No discernible defect: Just worn out”
I now want “Just Worn Out” as my epitaph.
Love it.
I want mine to read “Well, THAT didn’t work.” Just so people will scratch their heads and wonder What? WHAT? so they won’t try “it” too.
How about “I’m going to try it. What could go wrong?”
I’m sticking with “When there’s no more room in hell, the dead shall walk the earth”
“It seemed like a good idea at the time”
I live in Georgia. “Hey, ya’ll watch this” Pretty much the state motto
“I wish I spent more time at work” because I hate platitudes.
Mine was written by a student on an evaluation, geez, back in the '80s sometime: “She drinks a lot of Diet Coke and sometimes her jokes are really weird.” Put it in the past tense, change Diet Coke to Diet Dr Pepper, and we’re good to go (sic).
“Well, bugger.”
She tried and she tried and she finally died.
“Whatever”
“and now, for my next trick…”
Can you make a broken tombstone that says: “The secret to life is ___”?
OK, you can have that. I’ll take “No discernible defect.”
“I’m not dead yet!”
“Wish you were here.”
What? Life DOESN’T begin at fifty?
I remember finding a book of collected odd epitaphs on tombstones in, I think, the Vacaville library. It was a big disappointment over all. The author’s idea of odd didn’t do much for me. The only one I remember is “Died Through Wearing Thin Shoes” on the grave of a twenty year old woman who had died in the middle ages. I immediately thought: This is what happens when a parent with an obsession gets to have the last word. A more modern one would be “Went Outside With Wet Hair.”
I just want mine to be a ceramic statue of a dropped ice cream cone . . . soft serve.
I told you I wasn’t well
Studmuffin