I contemplated putting this in the pit, but ultimately decided that A) it’s not worth taking that seriously, and 2) I can’t be arsed to come up with the requisite number of creative uses of the word “fuck.”
So here’s a guy I encountered on my morning commute the day before yesterday:
Summary, if you can't/would rather not watch the video: I was biking to work, and shortly after cresting a hill, I saw a Seattle PD cruiser parked with its lights on, the officer standing in the street directing traffic. This didn't surprise me; traffic's been pretty bad for a few days owing to some major road closures for construction. The officer waved me through and then signaled a car waiting on a side street. Then in my rearview I caught a glimpse of another cyclist speeding up, weaving erratically around the cop, completely ignoring his hand signals and Whistle of Authority(TM). This was followed shortly by a hoarse, rage-filled scream of "FUCKING COPS."A few moments later this guy passes me, pedaling furiously on his fixed-speed. He’s not wearing a helmet, of course. He flirts with traffic on the extreme left edge of the bike lane for a bit, and for all his pedaling he’s going fairly slowly, so I’m obligated to hang behind him for a while. Then he jumps onto the sidewalk and I lose sight of him until further on, when he cuts through a construction area so he can pass me on the right (I had slowed down for the construction, oddly enough).
Then this guy takes his hands off his handlebars so he can look at his phone. At this point I’m kind of irritated at him, so as I pass him I yell: “GET OFF YOUR DAMN PHONE.”
This apparently got his dander up, because he proceeded to yell something about how I’m a bitch, which I won’t attempt to deny. I couldn’t really hear him too well since I was far ahead at that point. But he decided to compound his sins by hopping the sidewalk again and running the next red light. Cue awkward thumb twiddling when I catch up to him at the very next light.
Basically, I had no idea people like this actually existed. He’s the full package: angry at authority, heedless of his fellow road-users, disdainful of safety precautions, totally above obeying the law. I’ve seen plenty of careless cyclists in Seattle, but until now, never one who was so brashly, angrily careless. Basically, he’s the embodiment of the things drivers and pedestrians complain about when they complain about cyclists.
I kinda hope I keep seeing him, since one of these days he’s going to wipe out hilariously and I want to be there to catch it on my GoPro. I just hope he doesn’t get anyone else hurt with his stupidity.