What he actually said was, “Oh, you don’t talk to black people?”
I was out for a morning walk downtown, window shopping and enjoying being alone with my thoughts. I heard an approaching golf cart, and assumed it was a city maintenance or sanitation worker, because it was fairly early and there weren’t a lot of cars for it to be a parking enforcement officer.
Anyhow, the cart stopped near me. It slowly followed me down the street a few feet, and I internally rolled my eyes as I waited for the come on. Sure enough, I got a “Hey girl!” a minute later. Now, I doubted it was a request for assistance. That would probably begin with, “Excuse me, do you know where I can get a good cup of coffee this early?” or “Do you have the time?” or something of that nature.
It followed me a few more feet, during which time I kept my eyes averted. Then he came out with the line about me not talking to black people. No, I thought, I don’t talk to weirdos who stalk me in a golf cart.
So that was my laugh for the morning. Too bad he missed my “Good morning” and smile I gave to his fellow maintenance worker who was picking up trash outside the police station. And who happened to be black. He, however, just gave me a pleasant “Good morning” instead of acting all weird.
Seriously, does no one understand why perhaps a woman would be adverse to being picked up on from a car (or golf cart in this case) as she’s walking? That is one of the creepiest ways to pick someone up IM personal E.
I got called a “fucking racist white cunt” once for blowing off one of the “charity” collectors that hung around Westwood once. I guess he didn’t see me blow off the Hare Krishnas. Or the lady from LA Fitness trying to get me to join. Or any of the other people that were bugging me while I was out on errands.
He was just trying to goad you into responding. I get that kind of thing a lot…sometimes being called racist, sometimes being told I will burn in hell, occasionally being harrassed for being fat (that one is mostly from homeless people) and the like. It is just their way of trying to shock you into a response.
It’s common around here (in the city, at least) for guys who are trolling the streets with their music blasting so loud it rattles your teeth, to yell out their windows at an women who happen to be within eyesight. Sometimes they will honk, too.
I had a friend visiting, and we walked half the block to my car. “Hey, there!” we hear with a whistle.
“Are they calling to us?” my friend asked.
I told her to ignore them, as we didn’t know them, and we surely were not in the mind to be picked up by a passing vehicle blasting profanity laced tunes.
As they sped off, we heard, “Fcking Btches!”
Um, yeah, that really increased your chances of hooking up with us. :rolleyes:
I’m always curious as to what those guys are actually trying to accomplish. They aren’t really trying to pick up girls, right? Because the strategy seems to be aimed at the opposite effect. Is it some sort of thing they do to impress other males with their virility and general manliness? Are they trying to assert their manliness to women by insulting them? What is it?
It’s just a weak approach followed by sour grapes, dangermom. Too bad the OP didn’t say aloud what she thought (“I don’t talk to weirdos who stalk me in a golf cart.”), but, safety first.
I yell “Hey girl” to get the attention of women too, and it works… depending on the type of girl. I don’t think that’s the insulting part–because some women do not take offense to that. It’s the way it’s done that’s important… and of course, the person hearing it!
Do you do it to get their attention before a legitimate question, or just to hit on them? If someone said “Hey girl, do you know how to get to Treaure Island?” I might not have a problem with it, although I do sort of have a problem being addressed as girl, sweetie, or those sorts of familiar terms.
But I swear I’m not easily offended!
I get hit on a lot when I’m out and about, not because I’m the shit, but it does seem to be primarily men of color (I’m working on getting rid of this ghetto booty). I usually don’t get offended by it, depending on my mood and the method of hitting on, my reaction can be anywhere from a smile and feeling flattered, to downright annoyance.
I just thought it was funny that he accused me of not talking to black people.
I’ll say it just to get her attention, though I do try to have something to follow up with. If I offend… well, I’m probably not going to get on well with her anyway as I tend to let fly whatever comes out of my mouth at times. I’m totally in agreement with you about out and out calling you racist because you didn’t jump into his lap, that’s total BS.
Not to hijack but I think it’s tangentially related: there is a difference of opinion I’ve noticed in whether simply not being attracted to people of a particular race is racist. I’ve been asked several times “Have you ever dated a black guy?”, and in fact I haven’t, though for a 41 year old guy from a demographic infamous for promiscuity I’ve dated pitifully few guys of any description (about 6 I think- and that’s not using “dating” as a euphemism even but literally “Went on one or more dates with” sense). The follow-up question is often “You find black guys unattractive? Is that a racial thing or a cultural thing?”
Well the answer is I’ve never been asked out by a black guy. There are black men I find attractive (Denzel of course- Lenny Kravitz [yeah I know, half white [though I don’t find Obama attractive except as a candidate], curiously I always found Roscoe Lee Browne attractive in a “grandpa I’d let wine and dine me” sort of way, etc.) and black men that I don’t (Flavor Flav for instance is sexual Nicorette- those girls must have wanted TV exposure or needed money baaaaaad to be on that show; Tyler Perry- I have a near irrational hatred of this guy for someone who’s never done me any harm- he’s up there with Dog-the-Bounty-Hunter in the “would you quit with the ‘let’s talk about the moral message’ sanctimonious crap and just entertain” category). Generally speaking, though, I’m attracted to guys around my age, I like dark hair, intelligence, and above all a pleasant voice. I’ve been called racist for the fact that most of the guys I’ve ever said “He’s hot” about happen to be white, however- and when I said I thought Sendhil Ramamurthy was hotter than sizzling bacon grease one person saw it as proof (“Now he’s as dark as any black guy but you’ve never said that about Will Smith!”).
Anyway, it’s an odd concept. And no, not responding to a catcall from a car just means you have good sense.
Something similar happened to me once . . . I used to walk to the library often on my lunch hour, and one day a guy held the door open for me as I left. I said “Thank you” and he took that as his signal to start following me down the street.
When he asked “Do you mind if I walk beside you,” I knew he was one of those. You say “No, I don’t mind,” you’re agreeing to a street-corner pickup. You say, “Yes, I do mind,” you get the “Hey, this is a public street! I can walk anywhere I want to! You just won’t talk to black people, you racist bitch!”
So I said, in a non-confrontational tone, “You can walk wherever you like, but I don’t talk to strangers.” He came back with the “Well, we don’t have to be strangers” line, but I just kept walking. The placement of the beat cop on the next block may have had something to do with his giving up, but he decided I wasn’t worth the effort.
I love the “racist” card. Implies that if you weren’t black, I’d be happy to be picked up on a street corner by a total stranger. And if only I weren’t married. As if I have to justify my reasons for not getting in your car.
Sampiro, interesting post. I think there’s a big difference, though, between “I just happened to have never dated a person of Ethnicity X” and people who put in their personals ads that they WON’T date someone of Ethnicity X. The latter gives me the creeps.
Sampiro, I think it generally just has to do with what you’re attracted to (with the exception of personal ads excluding certain races). I have “dated” a black guy (I use that term loosely, it was a weekend fling while on vacation with no strings attached) so it’s not that I’m never attracted to them, but I generally like dorky, pale guys with blue or green eyes. I’ve only dated one or two guys with brown eyes, so you could say I’m racist against people with brown eyes.
Trying to draw a line between racism and sexual attraction is ridiculous. After all, if not being attracted to black people makes you racist, it would follow that being attracted to black people means you’re not racist. So I guess all those slaveowners who had sex with their slaves weren’t actually racist, but just pretending. :dubious:
