I got my husband stoned! For the first time!

Well, it’s not the first time I tried. But it was the first time he really got stoned!

He’s smoked with me a few times; I think a total of five. He didn’t seem very impressed, and I assumed he was just one of those people who can take or leave it.

Then yesterday, he, Friend and I were going out to see Goldmember. Friend walked into the kitchen, pointed at me and said, “Bring out your pipe.” He had, I swear to you, the ‘chronic’, of song and story. Mr. Rilch doesn’t usually partake, but this time he did.

We got to the theater, bought our tickets, and waited for Friend to get his soft drink. While we were standing there, Mr. Rilch suddenly stated, in an awed tone, “I think I’m stoned.”

“Okay, but keep it down,” I urged him. Friend joined us again and Mr. Rilch repeated his announcement. Friend congratulated him and we went in to take our seats.

After the movie, we went back to the house. I made chocolate chip cookies, and when they were finished, Friend loaded up the pipe again. I went upstairs to cruise the boards, and was deep in a Pit thread when Friend called to me.

“What is it?”

“You gotta see this.”

I went downstairs to see Mr. Rilch in the armchair, looking as if he was on his first plane ride.

“I finally…understand,” he informed me. “I finally understand why you like this so much. I’m never going to be grouchy like I was this morning again.”

He’d been understandably upset at being passed over for a job he’d been counting on. I looked deep into his eyes and told him, “I’ve said this before, and now you know it’s true: Weed will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no weed.”

“I fully agree!” he rejoiced.

“You look like Ozzy,” I added. “Yeah, you do, with the hair and everything.”

“He should have stuck to this and stayed away from the cocaine!”

I counseled him that there are some things one should save for when one is high. “Listen to the Valse Trieste,” I suggested. “Look through a book of Wyeth paintings. We could put in Fantasia!”

Somehow, Friend ended up putting on Tangerine Dream, followed by Pink Floyd (Meddle, to be precise). At one point, Mr. Rilch lamented the fact that he’d been listening to Cypress Hill since they first started, but had never understood the feeling behind the sentiment, “I want to get high…so high…”!

I did warn him, more than once, that not all weed is as good as what we were having. “But now that you know how to smoke, you can enjoy even grade-B stuff.”

“I feel like that scene in Goodfellas,” he declared, spreading his arms wide. “‘Aw, you broke your cherry!’”

Today, I explained proper usage in more detail. "The rules are the same as for alcohol: no driving, no heavy machinery, and give yourself time to come down. Don’t do it the night before something important. Don’t work out until you’ve fully come down. And I think now you’ll understand why Friend and I sometimes keep silent when we’re out. It’s because we don’t want to ‘talk stoned’.

“Weed does not make you stupid,” I elaborated. "Stoners who come off as dumb probably started out that way. Or they just smoke too often, too much at one time. But consuming alcohol at that rate is just as bad. Also consider the possibility that some people are just acting out the stereotypical stoner persona.

"What it does is, it frees your mind of all the mundane stuff. What you should do is smoke a little, not enough to go over the line, and then sit down and brainstorm ideas for your screenplay. Then try to flesh out a few scenes. Contrary to propaganda, it won’t come out as gibberish; it will be all the ideas you couldn’t get a handle on because you were preoccupied with bills and expendables lists and getting your truck fixed.

“And when you seek entertainment, try to do substantive things. If you watched Gilligan’s Island, you would probably find complexities and subtext—but don’t. Watch a Sopranos episode. Or something by David Lynch. Or don’t watch a movie: watch Hannity and Colmes or something. Or read a book. Imagine how Turtledove would grab you, or Tolkien. And have a good meal first, so when it hits you, you can savor something like toasted almonds, without just gobbling them all down.”

“My head would explode if I tried to watch Twin Peaks stoned,” he demurred. “But I’ll try writing. Or sketching.”

So I got my husband stoned (or rather, Friend did), and it was a GOOD thing!

Failed the drug test? :slight_smile:

Um … congratulations?

I must say, catching a “first buzz” for Goldmember was serendipitous.

As for writing & herb, I find it helpful for research & notes, plotting. character development, etc, but when it comes to actually setting things down into prose, I want a clear head. Typically, I’ll sit down and write pages of terse notes, bouncing all over the place, and then take it to the word-processor (seriously caffeinated,) and go like mad.

I don’t know anyone who talks stupid when they get high. But then I try to avoid stupid people.

Believe me when I say I’m not being sarcastic or judgemental, but I’ve got to ask - why is this something to be proud of?

Ya know, they’ve been shutting down other drug-related threads recently (Have you used coke, What’s your favorite drug) I’ve a feeling this one may be next.

It isn’t.

I have no idea why someone would be bragging about this in a public forum.

Are FCM and myself just old fashioned or something? I sure as hell hope not.

Please post again when you’ve got him both drunk and stoned at the same time so we can engrave your “Wife of the Year” award.

This is a test, this is only a test.

(Isn’t it?)

Um…won’t the mods close this?

Yep … we’re done.