Hmph. I’ll just take my nekkid oiled beautiful men and be in my room then, IF you don’t mind.
::stomps off, followed by a veritable herd of nekkid oiled beautiful men::
::comes back::
Hey, Scottimom, mind if I have some of that vanilla massage oil?
Thanks!
::scurries off::
Listen, tig honey.
Your virtual dad is all virtual talk and no IRL action.
Besides, do you seriously think that any man who is virtually married to me would virtually cheat? I may be sweet, but I do not tolerate virtual cheating.
So carry on, and you may use my vanilla massage oil. So long as you limit your activities to a MASSAGE, I have no objections.
Hmmmm…should I be offended or see it as a license to double-dip? Some good can come from being seen as ineffectual.
Oh now, honey, I didn’t mean to imply that you were ineffectual.
I was actually complimenting you for your fidelity to your real life wife.
Sheesh, can’t I do ANYTHING right?
Oh, don’t mind dadzone… I think Byz slipped him something…
NONONO!! In his BEER!!
Anyway, I’ve got a bevy of oiled nekkid beautiful men needing <hem> massages in the den for ya.
Not to worry. Wife finds me ineffectual, too! 
So, I’m ineffectual, known to be faithful, and doped. I can get away with ANYTHING!
Uh, did I say that out loud?