I had a wonderful date last night!

I’m grinning from ear to ear, and really just want to share with somebody.

A guy I’ve been seeing casually since mid-May has made it clear he’s not looking for a relationship, that he really enjoys the time we spend together but is willing to back off if I want to pursue something more serious with another man. I’ve had a few prospects, have been on a few dates, but nothing’s come of it so far. So we continue to spend time together once or twice a week.

Yesterday I went over to his place mid-afternoon, and after a few hours of talking/watching a movie he decided he was hungry. Rather than send me home he asked what I’d like to have for dinner, and proceeded to turn on some music and cook up a spread.

While dinner was in the oven he danced me around the kitchen and living room. Just before we ate he disappeared, and came back with a bottle of wine he’d apparently been waiting for an excuse to open. After dinner we washed dishes, chatted, and made homemade chocolate chip cookies. As we were both getting tired, he sent me home with a kiss.

This was completely spontaneous, and not something he’s done before; I’m trying not to read anything into it. I’m not telling my friends yet because they think him not wanting a relationship is a deal-breaker, and honestly I don’t care. I’m just enjoying the moment and wanted to share my happiness. :smiley:

No sex? Bah, I read all that for nothing.

Yay! sounds like a really nice evening!

That really does sound like a great evening. Thanks for telling us. Gives me hope.

I wish both of you all the best for your future.

That is a wonderful date! I love a man I can be in the kitchen with - good food, good music, and good conversation is a trifecta. I’d take it!

I’m happy for you.

I had a wonderful date on Friday. I broke it off this morning. I hope you are more mature than I am.

Still…proceed with caution. Guys can be really awesome with you when you’re together but if he’s not wanting a relationship…ouch!

Ha! Since you asked, it’s fantastic. :stuck_out_tongue:

That was much the same as my reaction. The dancing is an enormous bonus.

Geez. Want to elaborate?

As for him not wanting a relationship, I’m still deciding for myself if that’s something I can put up with. He’s been very clear on this point, so I’m trying not to get too invested. We’ll see how well that goes, if he continues to serenade me around the kitchen. :slight_smile:

I don’t want to be a bubble-burster, but I see this more pessimistically. He’s had since mid-May to decide whether he wants to have a relationship with you, has been clear about his feelings, but he threw you a bone and you are floating on air. Be careful.

You’re being a realist, not a bubble-burster. I’ve got a couple of friends saying the same things, and you’re all absolutely correct.

That said, when I get hurt I’ll dust myself off and get on with my life. If this is only ever a summer fling, it’s not going to make that much of a difference in the long term. I’m enjoying it now, though, and see no reason not to float if that’s how I feel.


Fair enough. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying a good feeling. We’re just hoping you don’t have your heart set on this, is all. If not, carry on and have fun.

Ok, this is blunt, but this sentence really gives me pause:

“Rather than send me home he asked what I’d like to have for dinner…”

I gather you are sleeping with him by one of your comments. The fact you are so surprised he wants to share a meal with you is a really bad sign that he is just in this for sex.

Geez. I really wasn’t trying to get so much into this. To clarify, we have shared meals together before. We’ve gone out to grab food, or made sandwiches, or had breakfast together, etc. We’ve never planned to eat together, though, which is what made the difference in this situation. I’d already spent the afternoon at his place, and he asked what I’d like for dinner, then we went shopping for ingredients and went back to his to cook.

OK my mistake then. It was just the wording you chose—“send me home…”

FWIW, that language kinda made me pause too.

Enjoy what you have while you have it, but don’t make the mistake of thinking he’s changed his mind about dating you. The most important thing you can do when someone warns you about them is: listen.

To put it more succinctly…fuck buddies like to eat, and dance, and drink wine too. Don’t read to much into it.

Yup. Fuck buddies like to do “dates” without them being dates. Don’t expect anything more than just having a good time, and you’ll be fine :slight_smile:

Keep your eyes out for someone who actually IS looking for a relationship, too!